So Sioux Me

In a landmark decision, the US Patent and Trademark Office has decided to retroactively revoke many trademarks for the Washington Redskins football team on the grounds that their name and team logo are "disparaging to Native Americans." Which is nothing to take lightly; just hearing the word "redskin" causes Elizabeth Warren's high cheekbones to flush with anger.

The ruling is intended to put additional pressure on the team owners to change the franchise's name to something less offensive to Liberals and more appropriate to our current political climate, like the "Washington Overlords" or "Crashing Hard Drives."

Frankly, Hope n' Change doesn't give a rat's rear end about either football or political correctness, but we don't much like the idea that the Patent Office is now putting themselves in the business of regulating free speech (in this case by removing the financial value of a trademark). Nor do we like the idea of such regulation being contingent on finding someone - anyone - who feels offended.

Because if that's the new standard, we're pretty sure we can find waaaay more people who are offended by the word "Washington" than "Redskin."

From The Vault: Chief-in-Chief (Nov 9, 2009)

Last Thursday morning, the president took time out from his busy, busy schedule of making government promises to apologize for 200 years of breaking government promises.

During his speech to an assembly of Native American tribes, the allegedly-American president said that he "understands what it means to be an outsider," (perhaps because he attended private schools) and said "only in America can the adopted son of Crow Indians grow up to be president." Huh?

It turns out that Barack Black Eagle was "adopted" in 2008, at the age of 46. When it comes to "growing up," we suppose that it's better late than never...

Update 6/20/14 - Isn't it odd that Chief Running Gag was pleased rather than offended that his "Indian name" referred to his skin color? Then again, maybe his administration only thinks that names mentioning red skin are offensive.

Benghazi After All These Years

By amazing, amazing coincidence, the Obama administration has announced the capture of one of the Benghazi masterminds at exactly the right moment to distract attention from Iraq, the IRS scandal,  our failed borders, a contracting economy, and an overall realization that Captain Barry is deliberately aiming the ship of state at icebergs.

But is Abu Khatallah really a terrorist mastermind? He claimed he wasn't when he was interviewed outside a hotel, casually sipping a drink, two years ago by Time magazine. Rather, it seems likely that his capture (said to have been effected by placing a frosty Piña Colada under a carefully balanced box) is a brazen "Look! A squirrel!" distraction intended to take some heat off the president.

And here's a suggestion, Mr. Obama - once we've determined exactly what Abu Khatallah was doing on that fateful night, why don't you finally tell the American people what you were doing?

SECRETARY OF STAID

And speaking of people who totally effed up their responsibilities in Benghazi and then lied their asses off, Hillary Clinton is currently appearing at bookstores, news outlets, and dry cleaners across the country while pushing her book "Hard Choices." Which is, coincidentally, the same state her husband was in when he made most of his choices.

By all accounts, the book is a ponderous doorstop of meaninglessness - which is hardly surprising since even news junkies such as ourselves are hard pressed to come up with a single hard (let alone successful) choice that Hillary made as Secretary of State.

So far, the book isn't selling terribly well despite a huge first printing - meaning that an entire forest of paper-producing trees was brutally murdered for no good reason at all. But then again, at this point what difference does it make?

Four Flusher

Readers- It's been a busy week since Hope n' Change took a little time off, and an awful lot of excrement has hit the fan in a highly kinetic fashion...

Yes, Barry really claims that our nation's future depends on the kids in our country illegally, whom he calls the "Dream Kids." They're currently flooding across our border in record numbers in an apparently coordinated action (subject to risks of death, rape, and abduction along the way) - young pawns in a political game which seems to be orchestrated from Washington DC.

Meanwhile, the situation in Iraq has gone straight to Hell...as everyone knew it would from the moment Barry announced the date he was going to withdraw all troops (and failed to negotiate a "status of forces" agreement to maintain our gains on the ground).  The situation in Iraq was additionally destabilized thanks to Barry's abject failure to confront Syria over the (ahem) "red lined" use of chemical weapons on its citizenry.

Now, a desperate Iraq is turning to Iran for help...meaning that this president (and, oh yeah, the former Secretary of State who's currently pushing her "Hard Choices" book on the Home Shopping Network) has screwed up the entire Middle East about as thoroughly as possible.

Speaking of screw-ups, the IRS is now telling Congressional investigators that they can't supply Lois Lerner's emails about targeted attacks on conservative groups because a computer crash wiped out two years of her email. Mind you, any technical expert will tell you that such computer emails should routinely be backed up elsewhere - and in fact, the government usually requires such a backup by law. Meaning it's very likely that those emails can't really have been wiped out...by accident.

And as the Middle East burns, Hope n' Change can't help but reflect on the many times B. Hussein has boasted that through his efforts Al Qaeda was all but destroyed. Oops!

On a happier note, a lot of people in Washington (in both parties) were back-slapping each other over the presumptive death of the Tea Party - until Eric Cantor's primary election defeat reminded the old guard that we're still here and we're still pissed.

After an appalling week like this one,  only damn fools could be anything else.

From The Vault: Penalty for Early Withdrawl

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED DEC 19, 2011
This cartoon and commentary is being republished exactly as it appeared two and a half years ago. The current disaster in Iraq was absolutely foreseeable. Including, we assume, to Barack Obama - who didn't care.

 

The Iraq War is over. The last convoy of American troops has crossed the borders into Kuwait. And Barack Obama has already turned it into a campaign ad - a video called "A Promise Kept" which is not about the promise of freedom nor America's promise to the people of Iraq, but about Barack Obama keeping his campaign promise to pull the troops out, no matter what his generals said.

It is perhaps the most sneering and self-serving way for the president to end an American war imaginable. A war which Barack Obama called the "dumb war," the "rash war," and "the war of choice, not necessity."

You'd think that a war described as pointless by America's commander-in-chief would therefore be easy to wrap up. But the ever self-aggrandizing Obama chose to take to his presidential podium and declare that "It is harder to end a war than to begin one," neatly praising his own magnificence while taking yet another potshot at President Bush.

But does Obama's troop withdrawal really amount to "Mission Accomplished" if the mission is anything other than his re-election? Senator John McCain certainly doesn't think so, saying "It is clear that this decision was dictated by politics, and not our national security interests. I believe history will judge this president’s leadership with the scorn and disdain it deserves.”

History, however, will never doubt the integrity, honor, and sacrifices made by America's troops and their families over the course of this nine-year war. Over 1.5 million fought... more than 32,000 were wounded... and over 4,500 killed. There are no words sufficient to express our gratitude, nor our sorrow for their losses.

Whether those losses were in vain will be determined in the very near future as we find out whether Barack Obama's "Promise Kept" was to the Iraqi people, our nation's military, or only to Democratic voters who have been losing enthusiasm for their ineffectual president.

In the meanwhile, perhaps Mr. Obama's re-election team would like to raid their 2008 video vaults to make more "Promise Kept" commercials - showing how well the president has fulfilled his campaign promises to lower unemployment, balance the budget, end earmarks, bring peace to the Middle East, close Guantanamo, end partisanship in Washington, create a post-racial society, have the most transparent administration in history, and cause our planet's rising oceans to recede.

All of which were dumb promises. Rash promises. Promises of choice...and not reality.

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