Bar Exam

In an unintentionally hilarious interview with Rolling Stone ragazine (spelling intentional), Barack Obama asserted that the reason Democrats got pulverized in the recent election is because "Fox News (is playing) in every bar and restaurant in big chunks of the country."

While demonstrably not true, Hope n' Change doesn't doubt that the insufferable dimwit-in-chief actually believes his fantasy because it protects him from taking personal responsibility for an historic electoral trouncing.

In Barry's mind, overstuffed white people would sit silent and transfixed at the local Cracker Barrel restaurant, sucking syrup out of their pancakes rather than chewing noisily, all the better to hear the Right Reverend Sean Hannity accuse Hillary Clinton of being a Martian.  Or perhaps he imagines eerily quiet Happy Hours during which patrons sat on bar stools in hypnotic trances while the gospel of hate was preached by Bret Baier, Britt Hume, and other bomb-throwing radical conservatives.

Barry did concede that the Democrat party had a problem with messaging and getting the word out to voters - but we have to disagree. We think their message came through loud and clear: that under Obama, what used to be a part-time job is now considered a career. That a stagnant economy which benefits only the rich and well-connected is the new norm. That laws are only for little people to obey.

We got the message that the Left considers ordinary Americans (also called "a basket of Deplorables") to be racists, misogynists, xenophobes, homophobes, ignoramuses, gun nuts, religious fanatics, and potential terrorists.

We got the message that a boy who believes he's a girl has more rights than all of the actual girls in a school shower. We got the message that inner city schools should never be improved, and that loans for uselessly self-indulgent college degrees need never be paid back.

We got the message that there is no gestational time limit on killing the unborn, up to and including the moment of birth. We got the message that illegal aliens have a "right" to jobs and benefits that legal citizens lack. And we got the message that as bad as things were under Obama, they were about to get a whole lot worse under Hillary.

And then we voted.

Which is why Barack Obama's actual legacy may only turn out to be a few soon-forgotten interviews in yellowing issues of Rolling Stone.

BONUS: DECEMBER ALREADY?!

Lots of you may be putting up Christmas decorations this weekend, which is why we're giving you a FREE no-strings-attached downloadable album of relaxing instrumental Christmas music!

Not available in stores. Trust us on this one.

It's the "Manhole Steamrising Complete Christmas Collection," consisting of 15 soothing tracks of Christmas favorites, two of which are "Adeste Fidelis" and are done (as Basil Fawlty would say on gourmet night) "in two extremely different ways."

It's all perfectly legal, and you're free to share the music and/or the link with as many people as you like. In fact, we encourage you to share! Please! Tis the season! Just click this link to get your download started.

You'll end up with a ZIP file which, when double-clicked, will open up into a folder with your 15 songs in MP3 format. No spam, no viruses, no hassles whatsoever. Although if you downloaded the album when we offered it last year, you may experience some holiday deja vu while listening.

If you'd like to sample the music (or just enjoy it without downloading), we've also put the album on Youtube. Just click below to play!

Room For Rant

Quick! Get this man pain-killers instead of a pacemaker!

There are reports that Obamacare reform may be one of the first things addressed after President-elect Trump is sworn in ("Nuke it from orbit," he may say, "it's the only way to be sure") and we're certainly hoping it's true. Because it's "renewal time" again...by which we mean not only renewing our health insurance, but renewing our hatred and disgust with the whole furshlugginer process.

Currently, we are receiving multiple email and telephone messages daily warning that our access to health insurance will be cut off soon unless we provide a host of documents to prove what our income will be in 2017. Documents which are pretty freaking hard to come by for self-employed cartoonists and gadabout authors.

Adding to the fun, we have to change policies because Mrs. Jarlsberg has just started Medicare. Interestingly, taking one person off a two-person policy costs you 75% of your subsidy. Because, according to Healthcare.gov, "screw you."

And speaking of Medicare, we just got a letter that Mrs. Jarlsberg's rates are being doubled before her first day of coverage because the same government which says they lack enough information about our income has simultaneously decided that we have an income of several hundred thousand dollars a year. A number which is only off by several hundred thousand dollars. And not in a good way.

But wait! There's more! The majority of policies being offered to us have only "restricted area" coverage - meaning if we're more than 50 miles from our north Texas home when our car is hit head on (perhaps by an angry young Muslim hoping to get eternal boning privileges in return for killing aging infidels) that we're not insured.

But at least if we stay home, we'll have coverage - right? Not necessarily. Because it turns out that in a medical emergency (say, an aneurysm which explodes violently while waiting for the electoral college to finally take their damn vote) you may be taken to a hospital that accepts your insurance, but there's no guarantee that the doctors who see you will accept your insurance. So again, no matter how much you're spending on premiums, you're not necessarily insured.

On a closing note, now that Texans are only offered HMO plans which funnel all medical treatment through a "gateway" doctor (and not the one Obama promised you could keep), we recently had our first visit with our assigned Personal Care Physician. We had intended it only as a friendly meet and greet, but for some reason, after only a brief conversation, the doctor wrote us a prescription for a powerful anti-anxiety medication and suggested that we fill it as soon as possible.

Which struck us as being the first and only thing about Obamacare which has been useful so far.

BONUS: PLEASE JOIN US IN SAYING...

Darn right she's getting champagne. She's earned it!

Rubik's Cuba

"That's what Monica said!"

Hope n' Change Monday Pop Quiz: Please read the following eulogy carefully, and then choose whether it's about A) Mother Teresa, B) Adolph Hitler, or C) Florence Henderson...

"We know that this moment fills (people) with powerful emotions, recalling the countless ways in which (this person) altered the course of individual lives, families, and of (a culture). History will record and judge the enormous impact of this singular figure on the people and world around (her or him). // We offer condolences to (the deceased's) family and our thoughts and prayers are with (those closest to the deceased). In the days ahead, they will recall the past and look to the future."

Okay, so let's make this easy - is it the eulogy for a wonderful person or a rotten one?

Wait, now that we're read it again, maybe even that's not so easy to tell.

Give up? Well, it could clearly be about any of the choices listed above - or any other human who has ever lived - but these actually are the entirely meaningless words babbled by Barack Obama regarding the passing of Cuba's monstrous, murderous, freedom-suppressing, communist dictator for life, Fidel Castro. A man who has been a blight upon the people of his nation and a sworn enemy of the United States for more than half a century.

Not that you'd know any of this from Barry's bland and non-judgemental pronouncements. But then, what would you expect from the president who recently "normalized" relations with Cuba in order to direct American funds to prop up the Castro dictatorship and further kill hopes for freedom and democracy among the oppressed still trapped within Cuba's borders?

Yet another reason why the radically anti-Freedom socialist in the Oval Office can't hit the street soon enough (hopefully on his rear end).

Meanwhile, Barry's not the only one feeling grief in the White House...

The hospital gift store was selling Whitman Sampler boxes from 1957.