A Moment of Silence

No jokes or politics today. I just found out that my friend and neighbor of 25 years passed away a few hours ago, quite suddenly, from complications of fast-moving Alzheimer's disease.

He was a good guy (and like the rest of us, not a perfect guy) who worked hard his entire life, had a wife and family, achieved a degree of success which transcended his upbringing and education, and who poured me a nicely-spiked glass of eggnog every year at Christmas time while our wives wrinkled their noses and said "how can you guys drink that stuff?!"

He took pleasure in keeping his home and lawn immaculate, loved to engage in long conversations when we met at the mailbox, and he proudly wore his patriotism on his sleeve.

I can't help thinking of the juxtaposition of my friend dying the same day as John Glenn. One was an astronaut who soared the heavens, and the other was an American of the kind who defines the bedrock of our nation.

I'll miss them both.

2020 Visions

Even though Donald Trump hasn't even been inaugurated yet, Joe Biden has already stepped forward to offer himself as a possible opponent in the 2020 Presidential race. When asked by alleged reporters, the soon-to-be-former Veep declared "I am going to run for President in 2020. What the hell, man, anyway."

Granted, he hasn't officially thrown his hat into the ring, but that's because it's his winter hat and he has problems unfastening the chin strap while wearing the mittens buttoned to his coat sleeves. And a friend of ours posited how much fun it would be if Joe had a match-up against General James Mattis, who could run as "Mad Dog 2020," thus endearing himself to generations of partiers who have a history with fortified wine.

Biden would, of course, bring a lot to such a contest. For one thing, he's a wacky old white guy with a disturbingly unnatural hairline, which was certainly popular in this election cycle. Additionally, he's pretty much the last major Democrat standing; Bernie will be in a soundproofed socialist rest home within four years (perhaps sharing a room with Castro's ashes), and in that same time frame we expect to find Hillary's well-pickled liver floating in a glass jar at the Smithsonian.

Still, all of this is actually good news according to Democrats like Nancy Pelosi...

The newly re-elected House Minority Leader and Botox spokesperson disagreed with reporters who found it odd that, in a time when voters clearly want change, Democratic House members decided to dust off an archeological relic like Nancy to guide them .

"I don't think people want a new direction," Nancy said through clenched teeth while compulsively blinking her tarantula-leg eyelashes. Really? Democrats were swooning over Bernie Sanders and the country actually voted in Donald Trump because they wanted to "stay the course" set by Obama and Pelosi? Seriously, this woman is on some kind of world class drugs. Not that we're ruling out senile dementia.

DEC 7th, 2016: ANOTHER DAY OF INFAMY

The few remaining survivors of that horrible day 75 years ago now have the odd distinction of being attacked twice at Pearl Harbor...once by the Japanese, and once by the Obama administration.

Yes, we understand the symbolic importance of showing Japan and the United States united on this historic anniversary - but it could so easily have been presented to the public without accusing those aging heroes who fought, bled, and saw their friends and shipmates blown to pieces, drowned, or burned alive of "personal bitterness" if they haven't just "moved on" and made their peace with the horror of the sneak attack.

This appalling statement makes it clear that, in the mind of this administration, this anniversary is not about those who fought or died at Pearl Harbor, but rather about one more fatuous photo-op with a foreign figurehead for the sole benefit of the second greatest American tragedy to originate in Hawaii: Barack Hussein Obama.

What Are You Waiting Fir?!

And he probably said where to put them.

Here at Hope n' Change, we find that we're filled with radiant happiness each time Barack Obama does anything as president for the last time. It's a delightful reminder that his days in office - and our days of misery - are literally numbered.

To that end, we're happy to announce the addition of our new countdown clock which you can find in the top left column of this blog. We fretted briefly over whether it was unseemly and disrespectful to headline the clock as showing "time till the screen door hits Obama's ass," but after further introspection we realized that everything else we might have said would be considerably more unseemly and disrespectful.

Seriously, our constipated nation is waiting anxiously for its electoral enema to kick in so we can be rid of this guy. In fact, it now strikes us that we'd like to be at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue the day Barry makes his final goodbyes, so that we could then blast the sound of a flushing toilet through powerful amplifiers. Perhaps we should start a Kickstarter campaign...

BONUS: TWEET REVENGE

"Initial reports are no survivors at MSNBC..."

We almost (but not quite!) wish that Trump would fire off a few tweets like the one above, just to coax more screams and lamentations from those on the Left. Because we're getting so much enjoyment out of their ongoing suffering.

Then again, he doesn't actually need to toy with the Leftists because they're already losing their minds over his excellent cabinet pics.  A Secretary of Defense who understands military might, wants to avoid war when possible, and values the lives and commitment of our troops? Horrors! A Secretary of Education who actually puts quality education (especially in our inner cities) ahead of protecting teachers unions? Madness!

If there's a connecting theme to Trump's picks to date, it's that he's eschewing the ivory tower academics who claim to be experts in their fields, and instead choosing people who have actually demonstrated significant accomplishment in those fields.

It really is beginning to feel a lot like Christmas.