Saturday, August 14, 2010

BONUS: The Unkindest Cut

At Barack Hussein Obama's taxpayer-funded Ramadan dinner last night, not only did the alleged president give the assembled Muslims the tremendous gift of support for building the Ground Zero mosque, but he also gifted them with the multi-purpose "Presidential Seal Boxcutter" which will soon be available in the Cordoba House gift shop.

This handsome and practical souvenir is an exact replica of the one which Barack Hussein Obama uses to direct the flight destinations of Air Force One!

All of which might, of course, seem extremely insensitive of us to say...but apparently sensitivity isn't really an issue that this president, or New York's Islamic community, cares about anymore.


A Veil of a Party

Before leaving for his latest round of vacations and golf, Barack Hussein Obama hosted his "Iftar" annual Ramadan dinner at the Whitehouse on Friday night.

Although the alleged president has had nothing to say about the Ground Zero mosque controversy, he was positively effusive in his enthusiasm for all things Islamic, saying: "Ramadan is a celebration of a faith known for great diversity and racial equality...a reminder that Islam has always been part of America and that American Muslims have made extraordinary contributions to our country."

Which would have been an acceptable time to shut up, but the man who stresses "Muslim outreach" over bipartisan outreach, conservative outreach, Christian outreach, Jewish outreach, or
taxpayer outreach had lots more to say.

His Iftar dinner "reminds us of the principles that we hold in common, and Islam's role in advancing justice, progress, tolerance and the dignity of all human beings."

Except women. And gays. And infidels.

Let's be clear: Barack Hussein Obama is not the first president to host an observance of Ramadan in the Whitehouse, nor is it inappropriate to do so. But considering that this president has never shown anything other than cold-blooded boredom and ennui about anything remotely connected to traditional American values, we're getting sick of his effusive praise of Islam.

Frankly, mister president, we don't give a Ramadamn.

EMERGENCY UPDATE: After previously refusing to give the American people an opinion on the Ground Zero mosque, Barack Hussein Obama chose his Ramadan Iftar dinner to announce to the assembled Islamic guests that he fully supports the building of a mega-mosque at the site of the 9/11 attacks.

We cannot say with any certainty that Barack Hussein Obama is a Muslim and, in fact, we find it hard to believe that he could possibly worship anything more than himself.

But we can now say with absolute certainty that the stranger in the Whitehouse loves Islam far more than he loves or respects America or Americans.



Friday, August 13, 2010


Here at Hope n' Change, we like to think of ourselves as "glass half full" types. For instance, when we hear that there's a new strain of antibiotic-resistant bacterial "superbug" spreading from India, we take a moment to count our blessings.

"It could be worse," we say to ourselves. "It could be something as nightmarish as the latest news about the American economy!"

It doesn't matter what sector of the economy you're talking about; you can spin Washington's "Wheel of Misfortune" and come up with a loser wherever you look: the jobless numbers just "unexpectedly" rose again, housing foreclosures are going up instead of down, the stock market is taking triple-digit losses, and a surprisingly large trade deficit suggests that our alleged "recovery" may be grinding to a halt. Record numbers of people are on food stamps, and near-riots are taking place as people fight to get into government-funded housing.

But, like we said, here at Hope n' Change we like to think of ourselves as "glass half full" types. So even after looking at this economic news, let's still take a moment to count one very important blessing...

Mid-term elections will be here soon...and it's the only known cure for the virulent Anti-American SuperMajority that is currently making us all sick.


Thursday, August 12, 2010


While working the campaign trail, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid told a largely-Hispanic audience that he doesn't know "how anyone of Hispanic heritage could be a Republican."

This is the same Harry Reid who has condemned Arizona's immigration law because it could conceivably lead to "ethnic profiling" which public officials would make assumptions about people simply based on their ethnicity. But apparently what's bad policy for cops is perfectly acceptable policy for Democratic senators.

It has to be fairly insulting to Hispanics to hear that Harry believes their political decisions are determined by genes rather than intellect. Or that there's something in Hispanics' "heritage" which would make them averse to obeying the law or voting in favor of fiscal responsibility.

So to put an end to the Nevada senator's puzzlement, there are actually plenty of reasons that Hispanics might be Republicans. And topping the list is the dismissing and demeaning attitude of Democrats like Harry Reid.


Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Beating The Bushes

In order to minimize the expected carnage in November's mid-term elections, the Whitehouse is encouraging congressional Democrats to mount campaigns which attack George W. Bush rather than taking credit for the Democrats' "accomplishments" during Obama's term.

Which strikes Hope n' Change as rather confusing: since the Democrats have gotten exactly
what they want, why don't they also want voters to be aware of it?

Thanks to a huge Democratic majority and the coordinated efforts of Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid, we now have trillions in new debt, rising medical bills, crushing
unemployment figures, nationalized industries, wide open borders, and two wars being undermined by our allies' lack of belief in American commitment.

All of this being the case, it's not surprising that the Democrats are saying that voting for their Republican rivals would be like reelecting George W. Bush.

Because they'll get slaughtered if they say that voting for Democrats would be like reelecting Barack Hussein Obama.


Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Publish or Perish

In his weekly radio address, Barack Obama proudly proclaimed that a new report by the Medicare trustees shows that the president's healthcare policies have added another 12 years of financial security to the system.

Which would be great, if the report was accurate.

But neither the president nor the mainstream media has mentioned that the trustees report was
required to use the unrealistic financial assumptions contained in the Obamacare bill (such as payments to doctors going down 30% over the next 3 years with no ill effects to either doctors or patients). In other words, if Obamacare had contained language stipulating that doctors would make housecalls on flying pigs, the trustees report would have to describe the expected success of airborne porkers filling the skies.

Which is why Medicare's Chief Actuary labeled the report "unreasonable" and "implausible," and issued an "Illustrative Alternative" report on what the trustees think will really happen when Obamacare takes effect: tremendous spending cuts, a loss of services for senior citizens, doctors leaving the system, and many hospitals going out of business.

In fact, under Obamacare as written, 25% of medical facilities are predicted to disappear by 2030, and 40% will be gone by 2050. Which may be just as well since there won't be doctors to staff them.

It just goes to show that not every "second opinion" is going to be good news.

But if it's the truth, it's the only opinion that really counts.


Monday, August 9, 2010

The Reign in Spain

Following another dismal unemployment report and tumbling numbers on Wall Street, many people are taking a dim view of Michelle Obama's 5-Star vacation to Spain, which is expected to cost cash-strapped taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Speaking from a luxury resort on the Mediterranean, the first lady defended her use of taxpayer funds saying "for the first time in my adult life, I'm proud to say that I'm getting really excellent
room service."

Whitehouse spokespeople also defended the first lady's vacation, pointing out that it was needed to help her rest up from this summer's already grueling schedule of vacationing in Chicago, Camp David, and Maine, and to help her build up strength for this coming weekend's draining Florida vacation, after which she'll have only a few days to recover before leaving August 19th for an exhausting 10-day vacation in Martha's Vineyard.

Some harsh media pundits have looked at Michelle Obama's tendency to run up huge expenditures while Americans are suffering and compared her excesses to those of Marie Antoinette.

But the first lady is quick to put such critics in their place, saying: "Let them eat flan."


Sunday, August 8, 2010

Suck It Up

In science, there is a principle known as "synchronicity" in which simultaneous but seemingly unrelated events appear, on closer inspection, to have a meaningful and possibly causational link.

Which is why the Hope n' Change news analysts were drawn to two recent stories: an all-time record 40.6 million Americans are now receiving food stamps...and scientists have discovered that sea sponges which do nothing but passively suck nutrients from their surroundings share 70% of their genes with human beings.

This could indicate that some humans have an actual genetic tendency to engage in spongelike behavior...or could indicate that sponges have been unfairly labeled as lazy when the reality is that "all the good undersea jobs were taken by coral."

But the ultimate proof that synchronicity is at work comes from the fact that the Democrats are cutting $12 billion from the food stamp program, despite the record need, in order to give the money to Democrat-friendly teacher's unions whose membership is 70% sponges.

Coincidence? We think not.


Spongebob Foodstamps: The Missing Link?