Saturday, October 2, 2010

Lincoln the Dots

Back when candidate Barack Obama promised that America, under his presidency, would no longer be comprised of "red states" and "blue states," we had no idea that he only meant his preferred color scheme would be blue and grey.

But the increasingly desperate president is now hitting the campaign trail and claiming that his policies haven't failed...they just haven't had time to work. And in his words, "it took time to free the slaves!"

The line was a big hit with an audience of history-deprived college kids, many of whom are under the vague impression that slavery ended about 25 years ago (why else do people keep talking about it?). But for those with longer memories, Obama's anti-slavery stance is a bit harder to swallow.

Consider that the president's party just tacitly enacted the largest tax hike in history by fleeing Washington without a vote on extending the Bush tax cuts. And taxes are the fruits and benefits of an individual's labor being taken force, if necessary. Which sounds just a bit like slavery.

And the president has boldly kept our southern borders open to make sure that wealthy landowners have a steady stream of underpaid people of color to pick crops by hand. Hardly the work of the next Great Emancipator.

Rather, Obama's main goal in invoking slavery is to call up stereotyped images of wealthy white oppressors who are keeping everyone else down. And in this way, he is actually inciting class warfare and adding to (in the words of Jimmy Carter) "the most polarized situation in Washington (since) the initiation of war between the states." Or, as history books might someday call it, "Civil War I."

Which is why we're grateful that, for Barack Obama's selfish and destructive agenda, time is running out.


Friday, October 1, 2010

The Truth Is Out There

Clearly we're living in odd times. Record unemployment is cheerily described as a "recovery," Democrats are running campaign ads attacking Nancy Pelosi, the mainstream media depicts tax-conscious retirees waving American flags as dangerous "extremists," and the president insists that building a mosque at Ground Zero is the "feel good" idea of the decade. Could things get any stranger?

Ohhhhhhh yeah.

In separate events this week, the United Nations announced that they were appointing an "Alien Ambassador" to greet other-worldy visitors should the need arise, and a group of retired Air Force officials went on the record to declare that UFOs are real, the government knows about them, and that the mysterious craft have - on multiple occasions - disabled U.S. nuclear missiles.

It would be easy to laugh this story off if we couldn't see and hear the testimony for ourselves. These are credible men who previously held high and respected positions in the military. Men who had, and have, something to lose by coming forward with their stories...but are doing it anyway.

After watching the testimony of these Air Force officers, our opinion is that they're sincere, truthful, and that something very odd is going on. Sure, it's hard to beli
eve...but no harder than believing that there really is a spotlessly clean (but unseen) birth certificate locked in a Hawaiian safety deposit box, or that the mad scientists in Washington really have perfected the art of creating "saved jobs"...which are totally invisible!

We have to admit that this explains a lot.

BONUS: A clip from the terrifying, ripped-from-the-headlines sci-fi film: "The Day The Economy Stood Still"...


Thursday, September 30, 2010

See BS

Intelligence officials have just placed Europe and the U.S. on "high alert" status for possible commando-style terror attacks which have allegedly been approved by Osama Bin Laden.

Which makes it a particularly gutless move for CBS to tackle the topic of terrorism in the season
premiere of "CSI" by using teen heartthrob Justin Bieber to portray (in the words of the New York Times) a "domestic terrorist with Tea Party leanings."

The network could hardly be more transparent about their desire to attract naive, youthful viewers and then beat into them the message that the Tea Party is an evil, dangerous, terrorist group. And the network is making this claim, not coincidentally, just before some of those young television viewers will get their first chance to go to the polls.

More and more viewers, tired of having both their intelligence and their patriotism insulted, are
turning off network programming which is filtered through Hollywood's ultra-liberal eyes.

And while we don't need to defend the spotless record of the Tea Party when it comes to non-violence, we would like to remind CBS that a television show that no one watches is a bomb.

Tea Party terrorists make good on their threat to blow up a balloon.


Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The Old Bawl Game

As the old saying goes, "Everybody loves a whiner." No's everybody loves a winner.

Which is why it's odd to hear Barack Obama whining and complaining that Democratic voters who were so fired up by his previous promises of rainbows and unicorns are now, in his words, lethargic, lacking in seriousness, and acting in a manner that is "inexcusable."

In an exclusive interview with the hard-hitting political journal "Rolling Stone," the Petulant of the United States seemed short-tempered about voters who are developing long memories. Apparently reading from a teleprompter programmed for a Sports Illustrated interview, Obama said that no Democratic or Progressive voters should "stand on the sidelines in this midterm election," nor should they "take their ball and go home" just because they expect a shellacking.

The Coach in Chief then expressed exasperation with disappointed Democratic voters, and said they just need to "buck up."

Presumably, many who previously voted for the president will return that same sentiment to him ...and the horse he rode in on.


Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Wait of the World

In a hard-hitting interview with the Today show's Matt Lauer, Barack Obama responded to the GOP's "Pledge to America" by declaring that tax cuts, decreases in government spending, reduction in the national debt, and a less restrictive regulatory environment for business were all "irresponsible."

Democrats who are fighting for their political survival across the country were quick to echo the president's sentiments and... No wait, they
didn't echo his sentiments. Or acknowledge them. And in campaign commercials across the country, many Democratic candidates no longer even mention the "D-word" for fear of being associated with Obama, Pelosi, and Reid.

We appreciate the president's candor in
admitting his disdain for such core American values, and regret that Matt Lauer failed to offer the obvious follow-up question asking if the president also dislikes the 4th of July, moms, and apple pie. Then again, there's no need to ask questions when we already know the answers.

Alleged journalist asks alleged president allegedly tough questions.

Monday, September 27, 2010


Following the Democrats recent release of a radio commercial that explains to their constituency that "there is an important election coming up and," they're reinforcing their campaign strategy with a new logo that tells their thoughtful voters ""

Which seems like a small thing, but apparently it's been a pretty big problem for Democrats in the past. It seems that when they "get out the vote" on Election Day and drive voters to the polls, a fair number of the people dragged into the vans don't really know (or care about) the difference between a "D" and an "R." Or the difference between freedom and oppression. Or that some
people go to the bathroom indoors.

Some analysts even believe that the somewhat foggy mental state of such "recruited" voters tipped the 2000 Presidential election to George Bush over Al Gore thanks to Florida's infamous "butterfly ballot." People driven to the polls by Democrats were specifically told to vote for "the second name" on the ballot (since "D" and "R" are so confusing). But because of the ballot's baffling layout (designed by Democrats), many votes were mistakenly cast for Pat Buchanan by clueless people who just wanted to get in, get out, and get their promised bowl of soup.

But not this year! The Democrats may not have saved the economy, balanced (or even submitted) the budget, lowered the debt, or made us safer...but they have accomplished one thing: they've shown us that "D" stands for Democrat!

And they got that "D" the old-fashioned way; they earned it.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Inside Jobs Program

Barack Obama was shocked - shocked! - to hear Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad tell the United Nations that it was the United States which perpetrated the 9/11 attacks.

Putting on his Frowny Face, the president declared Ahmadinejad's remarks to be "hateful" and "offensive." Mr. Obama said that the statement was especially inexcusable because it was made "in Manhattan, just a little north of Ground Zero where families lost their loved ones." And if there's one thing the president is sensitive to, it's the feelings of the Ground Zero families... except when it comes to building mosques.

Still, the president's strong words would have been refreshing if they weren't so clearly hypocritical. Almost exactly one year ago, one of the big news stories was that Obama had hired Van Jones as the Whitehouse "Green Jobs Czar" despite the fact that Jones made exactly the same "inside job" allegations about 9/11.

But at least the president took a strong stand. Or did he? Although he declared Ahmadinejad to be hateful, offensive, and bereft of "not just common sense but basic sense," Obama made a point of saying "the door remains open to diplomacy should Iran choose to walk through it."

And fortunately, the door to the Whitehouse remains open for the president's replacement to walk through in 2012.