Friday, August 12, 2011

Barack ORambo

The line separating entertainment from politics has always been thin, but the Obama administration is now helping to erase it entirely.

The Whitehouse has given SONY Studios (who recently hosted a fundraiser for the president) "unprecedented access" to information about the Seal Team 6 mission to kill Osama bin Laden, in order to help make sure that a film of the one and only success of the Obama administration meets a suspiciously-convenient release date of October 12, 2012...
just days before the presidential election.

Barack Obama, who has previously refused to let the American public see meaningful video or photos from the mission, apparently feels that the matter will be handled more
tastefully and accurately on an IMAX 3D screen with a full symphonic doubt with a pumped-up Denzel Washington playing the president (dressed in something other than the golf outfit Obama was really wearing) and barking orders to the otherwise clueless military.

Of course, using the Navy Seals to prop up his flagging political fortunes is nothing new for this president. On Tuesday, Mr. Obama flew to Dover Air Force base to meet the incoming bodies of the Navy Seals who were killed in Afghanistan when a rocket propelled grenade downed their helicopter. The families of the fallen didn't want any pictures taken, and so the event was closed to news media and even Pentagon photographers. But deciding to screw the families of the dead, the Whitehouse publicity team managed to snap a picture of Obama "saluting" the coffins (although it looks much more like he's thumbing his nose) and release it as the Whitehouse "Picture of the Day."

As sickening as all of this is,
Hope n' Change would like to think that the upcoming film presents an opportunity for conservatives to vote against Barack Hussein Obama twice in 2012.

Once at the ballot box...and once at the box office.

Coming way too soon to a screen near you.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Let Us Spray

With the world's economy (and quite a few buildings) in flames, and three ongoing and increasingly unsuccessful wars, Barack Hussein Obama took time out from his busy, busy fundraising schedule last night to hold his annual Ramadan dinner for Muslim guests and dignitaries.

The dinner, known as "Iftar" (not to be confused with the film "Ishtar"), comes at the end of an entire day of not eating. A ritual that the multitudes of unemployed in America now call "supper."

Last year, Mr. Obama chose this
very special occasion, with his very special friends, to announce his enthusiastic support for a mosque to be erected at Ground Zero in New York. Presumably at this year's celebration, on the cusp of the 10 year anniversary of 9/11, he wanted to announce groundbreaking...but was then informed that it already happened.

Ten years ago.


Update: In his Ramadan speech, the president said "Islam has always been part of our American family, and Muslim Americans have long contributed to the strength and character of our country, in all walks of life. This has been especially true over the past 10 years."

Frankly, we're not quite sure in what ways Muslim Americans have especially increased our strength and character over the past 10 years...but it was a meaningless throwaway line, intended to suck up to the guests and not really be scrutinized.

Obama then mentioned the upcoming anniversary of the 9/11 attacks and eulogized every Muslim American who died on that day. Newlyweds, cooks, waiters, executives, analysts, and first responders.

He did not mention any non-Muslim victims.

He did not say who perpetrated the attacks.

Nor did he address the twin tower-sized elephant in the room: why even bring up 9/11 at this gathering of Muslims if Islam is unrelated to the attacks?

In closing, Barack Hussein Obama said of Muslim Americans: "Across our federal government, they keep our homeland secure, they guide our intelligence and counterterrorism efforts and they uphold the civil rights and civil liberties of all Americans. So make no mistake, Muslim Americans help to keep us safe. We see this in the brave service of our men and women in uniform."

Oh, that's right. Nidal Hussan was in uniform.


Wednesday, August 10, 2011

BS, I Love You

Wouldn't you know it. Just when Hope n' Change looks at the stock market, the media, the Obama administration, Syria, tragedy in Afghanistan, and London in flames and thinks "oh well, at least this will all be over soon when Global Warming destroys the Earth," along come some meddling NASA researchers who've looked at new data and say we're actually going to be stuck here for a long, long time...because Man-caused Global Warming is a myth.

The scientists looked at 25 years of satellite data to see how much heat the Earth was releasing safely into space, instead of trapping it under a "greenhouse gas" dome which the computer models had predicted. And their answer? The heat is safely dissipating. And the climate alarmists' computer models are dead wrong.

Noted Global Warming enthusiast and profiteer Al Gore made a formal rebuttal to the scientifically reviewed findings, saying "Man-made CO2 doesn’t trap heat? It may be volcanoes?! Bullshit! It may be sun spots?! Bullshit! It’s not getting warmer?! Bullshit!!!"

But even if it means we're going to continue to be stuck on this planet with annoying liberals, the new research really does amount to good news for conservatives and radical budget-balancing Tea Party terrorists.

Because now that the research has shown that Man-caused Global Warming is a hoax, the government can stop spending billions of taxpayer dollars in their ongoing attempt to prove (or pretend) it does exist. Which they currently do in order to justify increasing regulation and takeover of the American economy, energy sector, and peasantry.

Just think, with all that money we could save, we could fund research into important medical issues.

And maybe - just maybe - find a cure for Al Gore's Tourette's Syndrome.


Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Doubling Down Down Down...

While Wall Street was being pushed into a meat grinder again yesterday, Barack Obama finally stood up behind his teleprompter yesterday to tell us two things about the fiscal emergency that we otherwise wouldn't have realized. The first is that there is no emergency...and the second is that this isn't about money.

That's a relief!

Uh wait...
come again?

There's no emergency because, in the president's words, the United States
"remains a Triple A country" even if the credit rating agencies who determine Triple A ratings don't agree. And this isn't about money or the staggering debt because the president says that the S&P downgrade was solely about the confrontational political climate in Washington "and that's what we need to change." Because, you know, bringing people together and avoiding partisanship is Obama's very special gift.

The president had
more reassuring news, too! He says that something we can do immediately to strengthen our economy is extend unemployment benefits! According to his reasoning, giving people free money makes them consumers... and consumers allow businesses to keep doing business. But he warns that failure to extend unemployment benefits could cost one million jobs over the next year, presumably as businesses lay off employees who aren't servicing the cash-infused unemployed.

Obviously this is economic nonsense...but it makes it clear that Obama fully expects the jobless rate to
keep getting worse, and he's trying to lay the (preposterous) early groundwork to blame it on the Republicans.

Meanwhile, the president didn't mention the fact that
Standard & Poors has now also downgraded Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, because he couldn't blame the Tea Party for the insane manner in which those agencies have been run.

The president concluded his remarks by jutting out his chin and adopting his smug professorial tone, and saying that
he still had complete faith in America's financial stability, as do the "world's investors", and "we know what we have to do."

And what he had to do was this: hurry off to attend two more fundraising events (which were, we're sure, entirely non-partisan) including a $15,000 per family gala for the Obama Victory Fund.

Which may explain why, after the president's unconvincing financial speech, those "world investors" then dragged the market down
another 634 points, pushing and shoving to get out of our dying Obamaconomy as quickly as possible.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Tea'd Off

The Whitehouse rolled out its strategy for the credit downgrade "blame game" this weekend, giving top Obama strategist David Axelrod the thankless job of hitting the news shows to declare the financial debacle a "Tea Party downgrade."

Axelrod, along with roughly every liberal in America, is focusing on Standard & Poor's declaration that their decision was made owing to the "political brinksmanship" recently seen in Washington...and pointing out that there would have been no brinksmanship, or even reasonable debate, without the Tea Party. And that much is true - after all, the Tea Party representatives are the only ones who demanded that fiscal responsibility be addressed at all.

But those who would try to blame the Tea Party need to explain one nagging detail: how can the Tea Party be responsible for a massive, unsustainable debt that existed before the Tea Party did?

Representatives of Standard & Poors specifically said that part of the reason for the downgrade is Washington's refusal to deal with entitlement reforms. And by "Washington," they of course mean Lefties such as Barack Obama, Harry Reid, and Nancy Pelosi who stated categorically that no such reforms could ever be considered while they're in office.

Meanwhile, as predictably as the little goosesteppers in today's cartoon, Democrats are flapping their wings and honking that taxes need to be raised as soon as possible.

No doubt in the belief that our credit rating will go up if they can just bring the rest of the economy down.


Sunday, August 7, 2011

Watch This!

With the news going to hell in a handbasket lately, I was in serious need of a pick-me-up this weekend. Which is why I want to send a special Hope n' Change shoutout to Rick Bacon, star of Spike TV's show "Musclecar."

Rick is an insanely talented artist who turns powerful cars into works of art...and in this weekend's "Altered E-Go" episode (which my TIVO oddly claimed was shot in 2007), viewers watching closely got an eyeful of Rick's awesomely manly limited-edition
Hope n' Change wristwatch in a number of close-up shots!

I'm not sure how many of Muslecar's viewers were subliminally converted into conservatives because, frankly, I can't imagine there are many liberals who have enough testosterone to be tuned in. But it was great fun to see the wristwatch on the air and get a much-needed laugh.

By the way, here's Rick's amazing paintjob on the '64 Comet that became "Altered Ego"...

Thanks again, Rick. I am so going to have you paint the official Hope n' Change mobile!

Miss Him Accomplished

Okay, I'm just having a little fun on Sunday. Still, you've got to imagine that Jimmy Carter is feeling pretty cocky today about handing off the "worst president ever" title to the current occupant of the Whitehouse.