Thursday, April 4, 2013
As a show of solidarity with the federal workers being furloughed by the Obama Sequester Cuts, the president has announced that he will voluntarily take a 5% pay cut beginning immediately, and double the number of prayers he says each day that he'll somehow find a way to put bread on the table for his family - assuming he can find his family members at their various five-star vacation resorts.
Although when the president's "sacrifice" is given greater scrutiny, we can see both the "screw" and the "tiny." For one thing, he's not taking a pay cut, but instead voluntarily "writing a check every month" to give back a total of $20,000 per year...out of a combined family income of nearly $800,000 while living with (oh yeah!) all imaginable expenses paid.
And guess what?! Because Obama is one of the evil rich, he can claim a hefty tax deduction of 39.6% for this "donation" to the US Treasury - putting a tidy $7,920 back in his pocket at taxpayer expense.
All of which makes the president's grand gesture seem like all of his other gestures: a one-finger salute to the American people who are genuinely suffering under the deliberately disastrous effects of the Obamaconomy.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Showing his traditional flair for unintendedly ironic comedy, Barack Obama has announced the creation of the presidential "Brain Initiative," a $100 million project to map the human brain and find cures for devastating illnesses like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, Epilepsy, and Conservatism.
Modestly declaring himself to be the "Scientist-in-Chief," Mr. Obama suggests that the research project will "grow our economy, create new jobs, and reignite a rising, thriving middle class by investing in one of our core strengths, and that’s American innovation" - a fantasy scenario which helps explain why he's failed so miserably at being "Economist-in-Chief."
Mr. Brainypants then pointed out that "we still haven’t unlocked the mystery of the three pounds of matter that sits between our ears," which in his case is undeniably true - although we could probably unlock more of that particular mystery if his college and medical records were unsealed.
Still, Hope n' Change has nothing against basic science research - and $100 million is only about enough to pay for a really good vacation for the first family.
Besides, once the brain has been mapped, it raises the possibility of creating "mental GPS units" for the hopelessly clueless. These "mental GPS units" would be small wireless devices which, like their automotive cousins, could tell people where they are, where they should be going, and give constant instructions about which way they should turn.
Although now that we think of it, the brain-challenged already have those devices. They're called Obamaphones.