Friday, March 18, 2016

Secretary of Mistake

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After much diplomatic hemming and hawing, Secretary of State John Kerry finally admitted that when ISIS beheads, burns, drowns, crushes, stones, and blows up people singled out solely because of their religion...it just might kinda sorta be genocide-ish.

What he did not say, owing to the fact that he isn't suicidal, is that Hillary Clinton's totally failed tenure as Secretary of State pretty much laid waste to the Middle East and softened up the region for the nightmarish growth of ISIS.

Rather than blame his predecessor, Kerry made a point of saying that while the determination of genocide is very serious, it won't have immediate policy repercussions because (brace yourself) it's going to be so difficult to bring the genocidal throat-slashing maniacs to court to be tried - no doubt with American taxpayers paying their legal defense bills.

Frankly, Hope n' Change is thinking that the proper response to genocide should involve a bit less habeas corpus and a lot more hellfire missiles.

And we've got a pretty good idea about who might agree with us...

BONUS 1: FORMER MASTER DEBATER

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Monday's GOP debate - which promised to be a fascinating event with so few people onstage - has been cancelled after Donald Trump claimed to have a very important previous engagement (which, it turns out, he had plenty of wiggle room to reschedule).

Trump will be speaking to AIPAC (the American Israel Public Affairs Committee) to explain for the umpteenth time that his love of Israel is unparalleled and incontestible because he once led the Israeli Day Parade in New York. No, really - that's the first thing out of his mouth at every debate!

He also says the fact that he gives buckets of money to Israel proves he loves them, which would be a lot more impressive if he didn't also give buckets of money to virtually every major Democratic candidate and cause, then blow it off by saying that it doesn't mean anything because "I'm a businessman - I give to everybody. It doesn't mean I like them." Oh.

Perhaps The Donald has tired of doing debates because, even if Eskimos have 32 different words for "snow," there are only so many ways of just repeating "I'm going to make such wonderful deals" before it starts sounding like a snow job.

Hope n' Change regrets not getting to hear another substantive debate. But then again, maybe we wouldn't have been able to hear it over the sound of protesters anyway. Which is why we might need...

BONUS 2: GRATER EXPECTATIONS

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Okay, before anyone panics, THIS IS A JOKE, OKAY?! We are not proposing that those blocking the streets in the upcoming "biggest demonstrations of the century" get ground into pulp, Fargo-style, and sprayed into the air. Oh sure, it would make for hilarious TV but, in the words of Richard Nixon, "it would be wrong - that's for sure."

This is also not a slam on Donald Trump, who is NOT advocating riots if the GOP attempts some funny business to take candidate selection out of the hands of the voters.

Rather, this is just a playful little fantasy about how we feel when considering all of the fake pay-to-play protesters who may soon be clogging our streets, breaking windows, setting fires, looting, and committing acts of violence against civilians and the police.

"Democracy Spring," a consortium of George Soros-funded troublemakers and other miscreants, essentially wants to shut the country down rather than let anyone hear what Donald Trump has to say. But why?

Unions are expected to take part in the demonstrations. But their motivation is unclear - Trump intends to bring manufacturing jobs back to America and staunch the flow of illegals who threaten the wages and employment of union members.

Black Lives Matter
will be well represented - apparently protesting because Trump has voiced interest in reforming the education system for the benefit of black kids and familes, quite likely with the help of Ben Carson. And if black kids can get ahead, well, there goes the powerbase of those who are eternally racially aggrieved.

Occupy Wall Street wants to oppose Trump despite his stated intention of getting the influence of big money out of government - just like Hillary and Bernie claim to want.

MoveOn.Org plans to protest because they don't want to move on from the nightmarish policies of the last administration. Moreover, for anyone too young to know, "MoveOn" is actually short for "Move On from Bill Clinton Lying Under Oath" and "Move On from Bill Clinton Sexually Abusing Women." The organization's sole reason for existence has always been to support the political aspirations of Bill and Hillary, and it contains more Clinton DNA than Chelsea does.

College Students will be protesting Trump because he's threatening to energize the economy to such a degree that recent graduates will no longer have excuses for not getting full-time jobs...and seriously, how much of a buzzkill is a 40-hour week and a dress code?!

And finally, Code Pink will be disrupting as many activities as possible because, well, let's just say they need to raise hell with SOMEone every 28 days or so for reasons we'd rather not go into.

It's going to be a long, weird summer.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Pinched Hitter

Readers- I've still got a pinched nerve making it somewhat difficult to keep up my usual computery duties... plus the big story for today is going to be last night's primary results - which aren't available when I'm writing this on Tuesday. But rather than leaving you in the lurch (insert John Kerry joke here) by skipping a day, I thought I'd just throw some fun stuff at the old Hope n' Change wall to thank you for being here.

By the way, I DO have an appointment scheduled to get actual medical care. Which got me thinking about who I might possibly run into at the clinic...

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, lefty lucy, johnny optimism, registered nurses

On an entirely unrelated subject, odd cartoons pop into my head all the time entirely out of the blue. Sometimes they make me laugh/snort in entirely inappropriate situations and cause people to give me funny looks. This is one of those cartoons...



And yes, I know that's not the way to spell the plural of "one," but "ones" in italic caps just looked weird - like it should be pronounced "Oh-nez." Fortunately, my creative license was recently renewed, although I hate my photograph on it.

And finally, tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day and my grandfather was a redheaded County Cork man.  Which is all the excuse I need to pull this cartoon from the vault...


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Monday, March 14, 2016

Blame Game

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, trump, protests, soros

Hope n' Change is still no fan of Donald Trump, but we won't stand idly by while he's blamed for the increasingly violent protests being waged by the well-funded and entirely-orchestrated Left.

What we're seeing is the culmination of over seven years of anti-Republican hate speech from the Democrats and media. Members of the GOP have been compared to terrorists and hostage takers. Hillary Clinton, no stranger to "Youtube videos which inspire violence," can be found on Youtube hysterically shrieking that Republicans "want to take away everybody's rights! Women's rights! Gay rights! Civil rights! Human rights!"  Meanwhile, Bernie Sanders blames billionaires like Trump for the woes of the world, then calls on his young supporters to commit themselves to revolution.

Watching the disruptive tactics of groups like MoveOn.org, Black Lives Matter, Occupy Wall Street, Code Pink, and other Soros-funded puppets begs the question of how many devils can dance on the head of a campaign pin. And all of this is happening in the context of a White House which has long demonized the police, promoted racial and class hatred, flooded our nation with illegal aliens (and released thousands of violent offenders onto our streets), scoffed at the threat of terrorism while actively curtailing our liberties in the name of fighting terror,  and unilaterally ripped the Constitution to shreds.

In a nutshell, the Left has deliberately broken our government and the last semblances of national unity - and is now actively working to deny the American people even the illusion of having a voice in restoring that government to functionality. No wonder there is anger. And no wonder so many people - in both parties - no longer believe that the government can be fixed with anything short of a metaphorical hand grenade thrown into its midst.

The increasingly uncivil dissent we're seeing now, and which we expect to grow worse in the coming weeks and months, is solely the creation and inevitable consequence of the policies fomented by Barack Obama and those on the Left.  So while they're accusing Trump of being a monster, never let us lose sight of the fact that they're the ones who created him.

BONUS: THE SANDERS OF TIME
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And EVERY year will be leap year, damnit.