Comeytose

If there were any lingering doubts about the professionalism and integrity of FBI Director James Comey, he unequivocally cleared them up in testimony yesterday before the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee. Simply put, Comey established that he couldn't possibly be more of a political whore if he was trolling the streets in ripped fishnet stockings and wearing a stained sandwich board offering "Blowjobs For 10¢."

In a bizarre proceeding which consisted of Republicans questioning the FBI Director, alternating with Democrats fellating him, Comey stuck to his claim that no charges should have been brought against Hillary Clinton despite the fact that there was an overabundance of evidence of guilt, and that any other human being would be harshly punished and prosecuted for her wildly inappropriate actions.

He also kept an admirably straight face as, piece by piece, he revealed that the FBI's investigation was a complete sham - intended to protect Mrs. Clinton's political aspirations rather than our national security.

For instance, when asked if the FBI cross-checked the testimony she gave the agency with the sworn testimony she gave to Congress, he said that the FBI hadn't bothered to because no one in Congress specifically requested that they do so.

Not that it would have made much difference - because when Hillary finally came in to give (ahem) "voluntary" testimony to the FBI, they didn't put her under oath. Still, Comey conceded that it would be a crime to lie to FBI agents. But... (you knew there was a "but" coming) there's really no way to establish if she lied or not, because the FBI made no transcript of her testimony.  Her utterances have disappeared into the ether as surely as tens of thousands of her missing emails...and any number of national security secrets.

James Comey and Loretta Lynch (who pounced on Comey's "recommendation" and threw out any and all charges against Hillary) have completely dishonored and discredited the FBI and the DOJ, and established beyond a shadow of doubt that our so-called legal system - up to and most definitely including the president of the United States - is now little more than an incestuous cabal of unindicted criminal co-conspirators.

BONUS: HALF BLACKMAIL

"Put the oath of office in a plain brown paper bag, and leave it in the dumpster at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue."

Journalistically speaking, it would be gross negligence for us to publish the unsubstantiated accusation above, let alone to assert that we believe it's probably true. However, due to our entirely unintentional (and non-prosecutable) extreme carelessness, it somehow slipped into print today.

BREAKING NEWS: MULTIPLE POLICE SHOT AND KILLED IN DALLAS

 

At the time of this writing we don't know many details, but as a Black Lives Matter protest in downtown Dallas was winding down - peacefully - two snipers opened fire on police officers, shooting 10 and killing 3. The situation is still fluid - no suspects are in custody and there is chaos in the streets.

Please keep the officers, their families, and Dallas in your thoughts and prayers.

Here's Mud in Your FBI

FBI Director James Comey officially announced yesterday the findings of his agency's extensive criminal investigation into Hillary Clinton's use of an unauthorized, secret, private email server.

He basically confirmed that everything Hillary has said since the discovery of the email server has been a blatant lie. Yes, she repeatedly sent confidential, Top Secret, and Above Top Secret correspondence on an unsecured system. In fact, her "security" was less than that which would have been provided by a free gmail account.

Hillary lied about wanting the system strictly for "convenience" (not wanting to carry two devices), she lied about turning over all required State Department emails, she lied about not having destroyed official documents, and she could not demonstrate that her system hadn't been hacked by foreign enemies (which Comey conceded was likely) thereby putting lives, policy, and our national security at risk.

And although this was plenty of reason for Hillary to be handed about 1000 years of sentencing for gross and willful misconduct, Comey instead decided that no charges should be pressed because A) He is apparently a complete political whore, B) His family was being held at gunpoint, C) he believes that women (bless their hearts) are just too darn stupid to understand computers, security, and laws, D) Hillary made a pact with Satan which involves fellating lepers in Hell for all eternity, or E) all of the above. Which, frankly, we're pretty sure is the right answer.

Granted, we all knew that Hillary was going to get away with this. Satanic deals simply work that way. But still, this is more than just a disappointment. This is the end of the rule of law.

The connected and powerful can do whatever they want and get away with it, while the rest of us are likely to get an ass-reaming if we can't decipher 15,000 pages of IRS instructions - or if we simply have been identified as political conservatives.

And while Hope n' Change still thinks Trump is an annoying bobblehead, this incident has redoubled our resolve to vote for him in November. Because the current system must be utterly destroyed. A lawless nation can not survive - indeed, must not survive.

Make no mistake based on Comey's scurrilous absolution: Hillary Clinton is a criminal and quite likely a traitor. She set up her email server with the specific goal of avoiding legally mandated public scrutiny of her wheeling, dealing, and influence peddling. Her "gross negligence" was by intent.

And yet she's flying to campaign appearances at taxpayer expense on Air Force One with her buddy Barack Hussein "Death to America" Obama at her side and, importantly, covering her ass. And all the while, Putin thumbs through her hacked emails and plots the many new victories he'll enjoy (and blackmail schemes he'll hatch) if she is elected president - despite an FBI declaration of near-criminal ineptitude.

This is a sad day for America and American justice. It is also, in an entirely legal and peaceful manner, a strong call for sweeping political revolution.

Boom Times / 4th of July

Happy Independence Day! We couldn't resist doing the tongue-in-cheek look into our crystal ball above, but today we really prefer to celebrate our still-great nation and avoid thinking about the future for 24 hours or so.

Best wishes to all Hope n' Change readers, and a special salute to our men and women in uniform, past and present. Have a safe, happy, and patriotic holiday!  -Stilton

BONUS: 4TH OF JULY BLASTS FROM THE PAST...