Situation Comedy

Following the Herculean labors of his golfing vacation, a handful of fundraisers, and attendance at a bachelor party, a seemingly tireless Barack Hussein Obama jumped right back into the presidential saddle on Thursday with a visit to the Situation Room.

The purpose of his visit was a meeting with the National Security Council to discuss the Russian military's increased attacks on Ukraine.  Unfortunately, the president initially voiced support for the Russian aggression, saying Ukraine "had it coming" for having hosted the "crude anti-Islamic video which incited the entirely spontaneous Benghazi attack."

But once the difference between Ukraine and YouTube was explained to him, the president forcefully declared the importance of putting Russia back in its place by means of a four-part plan consisting of "standing firmly with our allies," "seeking justice," "launching an investigation," and "blaming Bush."

No specific timetable was given for the plan's implementation - although it was suggested by a White House spokesperson that the president would make development of such a timetable an urgent priority following his next vacation.

The president also used his meeting with the National Security Council to discuss every detail of the huge and growing terrorist threat from ISIS (the "JV team") with the best and brightest minds available (Valerie Jarrett's "VJ team").

After which he held a brief news conference in which he announced to the world - and especially to ISIS - the conclusions reached by this remarkable braintrust: "we don't have a strategy yet."

Nor, it would appear, a freaking clue about how to deal with critical foreign affairs or our national security.

Slow Lerner

Even though the news cycle is currently consumed by sexy stories about beheadings and police shootings,  the massive and ongoing IRS scandal still holds interest for a few news-obsessive folks who fret about little things like freedom of speech and a widespread criminal conspiracy in which government officials, almost certainly with the president's blessing, attacked We The People.

Which is why Hope n' Change finds it pretty darned interesting that, in response to the latest FOIA discovery actions by the good people at Judicial Watch, the IRS has been forced to admit that they've actually had backups of Lois Lerner's "missing" emails all along, kept in a super-duper catastrophe-proof computer which was intended to help rebuild the world in case, following some nightmarish disaster, survivors would find it helpful to read Lerner's witty attacks on conservatives.

Unfortunately, the IRS says that pulling any useful information out of the backup system is so ridiculously difficult that it would be "too onerous" to even attempt. Which, when you think about it, makes the End of the World Computer a pretty good joke-in-waiting on those poor SOBs who'll be relying on it following the zombie apocalypse.

But the existence of Ms. Lerner's emails in the Doomsday File Server isn't the only recently-revealed news about the case. Because we now know that Ms. Lerner used her government-issued Blackberry for a lot of correspondence, and it's easy-peasy to get old emails off a Blackberry!

Unless, of course, the IRS erased its memory after the congressional investigation started heating up, conveniently "forgot" to check for or backup any of the emails, and then sold the device for scrap.

Frankly, with all of the blatant destruction of evidence taking place, Hope n' Change is somewhat surprised that no one from the administration has visited Lois Lerner in the dark of night to perform an ice pick lobotomy and destroy the last bit of memory which might imperil the president.

Then again, maybe they're just waiting for a really busy news day when the story would be ignored - just like every other incriminating revelation to date.

Sects Expert

As the brave NSA employees who are tasked with listening to the hidden microphones in the Jarlsberg mansion could tell you, the political repartee flies fast and furious around here (albeit without our sending weapons to murderous Mexican drug cartels).

Much like Nick and Nora Charles (if they had tourette's), the Jarlsbergs trade witty quips about current events each evening, heartily chortling while trying not to spill drinks on our dinner jackets and sequined taffeta evening gowns.

And so it was that Mrs. Jarlsberg came up with the delightful joke above which notes the symmetry between ISIS and Bill Clinton's infamous "is is," which we hastily scribbled down on an embroidered cocktail napkin.

Because seriously, if we can't try to laugh about impending Jihaddi armageddon and American presidents who were a total disgrace to their office, then the terrorists have won.

BONUS: Sects and the City

Of course, despite Bill Clinton's tasteless joke above, ISIS is a very real threat - a "cancer" in the words of Barack Hussein Obama. And he should know - he's the guy who stood around with his thumb up his ass for years watching it grow and metastasize.

Still, Hope n' Change finds it odd that ISIS would single out Chicago as a potential target for terrorism, because dozens of people are brutally murdered there every week and nobody seems to give a flying fart in the wind. (Note to potential victims: if you want your death to get publicity post mortem, make sure there are stolen Swisher Sweets on your body!)

Moreover, it's not like there are any special targets of opportunity in Obama's old home town which would personally affect him.

The Reverend Jeremiah Wright's church? Barry doesn't even remember his 20 years of attendance. Bill Ayres' house and bomb-making garage? Barry claims he barely knows the man. Obama's own mansion? Hey, Barry's old pal Tony Rezko would be more than happy to slide some illicit money under the table (yet again) to pay for any damages done by the suicide-vest crowd.

So perhaps ISIS should rethink where they'll attack if they really want B. Hussein to feel the pain. We suggest that they consider a golf course.