Friday, May 18, 2012

Don't Take It Lying Down

Europe is in full-blown financial crisis mode owing to government overspending, stock markets are falling, and the Senate has just rejected Barack Obama's budget with a unanimous, bipartisan 99-0 vote (matching the earlier unanimous bipartisan vote of the House) which essentially makes him the nation's Number One certified financial dunderhead. Moreover, Obama now wants to raise the debt ceiling yet again, and has told John Boehner that he won't even consider cutting anything, no matter how microscopic, from the obscenely bloated national budget.

In the face of all of these looming disasters, what exactly is Barack "Forward" Obama making his top presidential priority?

He's declaring a new "War on Prison Rapes."

Oh sure, we thought that things like the miserable economy, anemic jobs market, the skyrocketing deficit, Iranian nukes, and declining national security were important...but that was before Barack Obama jutted his chin out and declared that it is jailhouse rape which is the real "affront to American values."

Which, by the way, is the first time we've heard him refer to "American values" without condemning them.

In order to fight jailhouse rape, Mr. Obama has declared that cigarettes will no longer be acceptable as a "dowry," and a 3-second rule will be instituted for prisoners who need to pick up dropped bars of soap in the shower without it considered to be flirting.

Ha, ha - just kidding! Those things would actually make sense! Instead, Mr. Obama is ordering prisons to start screening inmates for "the potential of sexual victimization." In other words, they won't be trying to identify and isolate dangerous sexual predators, but instead will be hiring the hillbilly halfwits from "Deliverance" to determine which new prisoners "got a real purty mouth." After which, those especially desirable new cons can be assigned to a safer part of the prison (say, a phone bank raising funds for Mr. Obama's reelection)...unless they'd prefer to be sent back to the tender mercies of their cellmates "Jackhammer" and "Piledriver."

Shockingly, there has been no word whatsoever from Mitt Romney's camp about whether the cold-hearted governor opposes prison rape...reminding Americans once again that the evil rich care more about the bottom dollar than, well, prisoners' bottoms.

In all seriousness, Hope n' Change finds it odd that Barack Obama's vision for the body politic is now so totally focused on rectums and same-sex unions (whether voluntary or involuntary).

But considering all of Barack Obama's questionable legal actions of the past few years, and the fact that he's likely to end up behind bars when justice is served... maybe all of this is just about watching his own rear end.

So to speak.

Members of Congress aren't the only ones with franking privileges.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Throw On Another Stake

Like all of us, Barack "Slow Jammin' da News" Obama is concerned about the lack of seriousness and substance in today's news media, when there are so many important, complex, and critical issues the nation must consider.

Which is why he gave a speech at the all-female Barnard College, telling the liberalettes in the audience that they shouldn't believe all the media reports about ugly politics, gridlocked legislators, job losses, and other entirely-accurate updates on his administration.

"Every day," he moaned, "you receive a steady stream of sensationalism and scandal."

Fortunately, Mr. Obama himself immediately went into action to raise the bar on journalistic substance and integrity by releasing a campaign attack ad which attacked Mitt Romney as being "like a vampire." And not the kind that glitters in the sunlight and makes all the teen girls swoon. NOoooo, Romney is the kind of vampire who sweeps into hardworking little towns, throws back his cape, and sucks the blood out of Walmart shoppers and leaves their bodies as dried, dessicated little shells on their own windowsills.

And did we mention that he laughs "Nyah-ha-ha!" while doing it?

Anyway, that's the kind of "just the facts, ma'am" journalism that Barack Obama feels our nation needs to return to. With real reporters and real editors asking the tough questions on real news shows.

You know, like the serious questions about Kim Kardashian and sex fantasies that Obama just went on "The View" to answer...while tapdancing through his not-quite-convincing "support" of gay marriage. "Just between us girls," he might well have said, he doesn't "blame" Joe Biden for supporting gay marriage (huh?), but says that Joe "got out ahead of his skis a bit" (huh?), and that his policy regarding repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act is exactly the same as that of Mitt Romney, with the exception that the president feels vaguely bad about it.

Frankly, Hope n' Change isn't quite ready to declare Obama a media vampire... but we will say that whenever he gets in front of a camera...boy, does that guy suck.

Barack Obama visits "The View" to discuss the need for seriousness in the news.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Head Games

Sadly, the scenario shown in the cartoon is a complete fantasy...and for all the wrong reasons.

Although the mainstream media is perfectly happy to report breathlessly about Mitt Romney's hair-cutting prank which happened 45 years ago, you're unlikely to hear anything about the latest huge pile of decapitated bodies in Mexico... victims of the drug cartels like those armed by Barack Obama's oddly-named "Justice" Department.

And perhaps the reason we're not hearing about the drug cartels is because it might remind the American public that the whole "Fast & Furious" gun-smuggling fiasco has been swept under a rug by Barack Obama and Eric Holder without any answers. And that's a growing phenomenon which bothers Hope n' Change deeply.

Specifically, our alleged "news" organizations now routinely drop stories not because they've been resolved, but simply because their 15 minutes in the spotlight is up and it's time to move on to something - anything - to entertain and distract a dimwitted and memory-impaired populace.

Think about it: when was the last time you heard any story embarrassing to the Obama
administration pursued to an actual conclusion? Have we heard who's to blame for the wretched spending excesses and lavish Las Vegas parties of the GSA? Is the media updating us regularly with reports of how it was possible for the Secret Service to turn into "Guys Gone Wild?" Or who in the government leaked the top secret details of the undercover "underwear bomber" operation, severely compromising international intelligence-gathering operations?

And of course, the media ignores the little matter of Eric Holder refusing to produce documents to congress about "Fast and Furious" which might reveal whether the program's stealth goal was to institute tougher anti-gun measures in the United States...but does find time to praise him for making a speech to the NAACP about Trayvon Martin and (surprise!) the need to institute tough
er anti-gun measures in the United States.

The abject failure of American journalism isn't news to readers of Hope n' Change Cartoons. We've bemoaned the abysmal state of the mainstream media many times in the past. You're probably sick of hearing about it, and we're certainly weary of watching things go from bad to worse.

But unlike the news media, we just can't let go of such a serious issue until there is some genuine resolution and we return to a time when public officials will be held accountable for their actions and misdeeds.

We just wish we could believe that someday, somehow, it will actually happen.


Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day

Readers- This isn't a regular "Hope n' Change Cartoons" posting. Rather, I just wanted to share a couple of fun things here which I've posted over at the new Hope n' Change Cartoons Facebook page. Just a reminder that if you're a Facebook member, you can just click "Like" on that page and you'll get updates automatically.

First up, here's a JibJab video with Michelle Obama starring in the 70's action flick
"One Bad Mutha." Considering I got a fundraising letter from Obama's campaign running another lottery to "donate $3 and the president might (but probably won't) tweet your mama," and a fundraising email from Barry himself asking me to "sign Michelle's Mother's Day card while making a donation," I don't think either Michelle or Mother's Day is off limits...

And I got another "Mother's Day" fundraising email from the Obama camp this morning offering their new line of "same-sex parent" baby clothing with campaign slogans. Cute, but I thought maybe they needed one additional design.

In all sincerity, here's hoping that all of you enjoy a wonderful Mother's Day, and take time to give thanks for those strong, wonderful, loving women who - according to the Democrats - have never done a day's work in their lives.