Friday, July 6, 2012

Put It All On Black

Barack Obama is on the road again, climbing aboard the Canadian-built pitch-black "Darth Bus" to take a tour of Ohio and Pennsylvania for the critical purpose of being unavailable to reporters when Friday's jobs report is released.

And because he's got no encouraging news for those states other than "I didn't raise your taxes! I raised your penalties!," the president is showcasing a shiny new slogan to replace all of the ones which have failed to get traction previously. And that slogan is: "Betting on America."

Which means...uh...wait...what the hell does that mean?

Does that mean it's time for us to bet on America instead of looking to the president for any help or guidance? Or does it mean that Obama admits that he's been gambling with our money and futures all along?

We're inclined to go with that second interpretation, because Barry A) doesn't think America can solve any problems on its own, and B) he's clearly a problem gambler. After all, he only uses borrowed money...he doubles down after every loss...and the sonofagun is now so cash-strapped that he's selling $3 lottery tickets to eat with him, mingle with his Evil Rich friends, or ride in the Big Black Bus with him.

Well, not right next to him, of course. The Bamster will be up front with his traveling basketball entourage, and the lottery winner will be getting the seat way, way in the back that Rosa Parks once refused to take.

But returning to the "Betting on America" slogan, there's an almost-refreshing candor about Barry admitting that Americans were simply gambling on a game of chance when they elected him the first time...and that he'd like them to do it again.

But now, all but the willfully blind know that Barack Obama was never a legitimate gamble at all; his candidacy was more like a rigged carnival game which looked easy and fun to play...but was only designed to separate the suckers from their money.

And we're betting that Americans are finally sick of it.

"Betting on America?" We prefer Battling FOR America.
REMINDER: Today is the last day to download your free ebook of "Obama Sutra!"

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Putting the FREE in Freedom!

Frankly, we couldn't think of any better way to celebrate the 4th of July than telling Barack Hussein Obama where to stick it...unless it was not only telling him where to stick it, but 57 different methods of doing so!

Which is why we're giving away the ebook version of "OBAMA SUTRA - An Illustrated Guide to 57 States of Ecstasy" absolutely free today, Thursday, and Friday! (Please make sure that Amazon is showing the price as free before downloading...sometimes it takes their system a little while to readjust prices).

The book, painstakingly authored and illustrated by your own Stilton Jarlsberg (and glowingly reviewed by some of the world's most intelligent and eloquent blog commentors) is pretty much exactly what you'd expect it to be from the title: a tongue-in-cheek parody of the 2000-year old "Kama Sutra" sex manual, featuring 57 "passion positions" inspired by the words and deeds of Barack Obama.

Want to see the backbreaking gymnastics necessary to do the "Fast and Furious?" How about "Leading from Behind," "18 Holes," "The Fierce Urgency of Now," "Stimulus Package," and many, many more! And along with the 57 full-page illustrations (which are risque but not x-rated), you also get a lengthy glossary of the 57 news stories which inspired the cartoons! More than enough factual material to demolish any nattering liberal who dares to speak a word in King Barry's behalf!

Don't have a Kindle eReader? No problem! Just go here to download a free Kindle reading app for your PC, Mac, iPhone/iPad, Smartphone, Blackberry, Android, or teleprompter!

Please spread the word and tell friends (or, if you must, liberals) about this limited-time free download offer! There aren't any catches or gimmicks...this is just our way of celebrating America's birthday and lighting some fireworks where they'll do the most good!

Download your free "OBAMA SUTRA" ebook here!

But wait! There's more!

We couldn't resist making this little video to help make Barry's last 4th of July in the Whitehouse special. We assume next 4th of July, he'll be cutting ribbons at the opening of supermarkets or mosques in Chicago.

Ever wonder what Barry is thinking about
while scratching his junk during our National Anthem?
Hope n' Change Cartoons reveals all!


Monday, July 2, 2012

Monday Mourning

Readers- A little change of pace for a Monday. Frankly, I'm still pissed about the Supreme Court decision (and plenty of other things!) but don't have a lot new to say about them. So I'm keeping the editorializing to a minimum today, and largely letting the cartoons speak for themselves.

Photo Finish

So Eric Holder has been found in Contempt of Congress and...and...nobody really seems to care. The odds are that nothing whatsoever will happen to either Holder or Barry "Executive Privilege" Soetoro for continuing to hide the bloody evidence of their involvement in the "Fast & Furious" debacle.

While Obama is campaigning on being Mr. Death From Above in the "War on Terror," maybe it's time some actual journalists demand that he stop hiding his critical role in the "War on Terry."

Frankly, Barry, I Don't Give A Dime

As respectable journalists and thinkers continue to weigh in (and trust us, there aren't many of them), it seems that Supreme Court Chief Justice Roberts didn't actually come up with a double-fake rope-a-dope decision that looked like it was good for Obama, but would actually be disastrous for him.

Nope - the smart money now says that Roberts probably changed his vote at the last moment, making a preposterous argument to save Obamacare (and with it, Obama) largely to keep the "integrity" of the Supreme Court from being attacked by the Whitehouse.

And hey - it worked! Because the Supreme Court now has no integrity to attack.

Meanwhile, the new Obamacare tax is yet another devastating blow to America's middle class and any hopes of an economic recovery in the foreseeable future.

Both of which are exactly what the president wanted.

The new tax"Abby" something.