Have Your Cape And Eat It Too

Which would, of course, make Bernie Sanders "Robbin..."

Following a gushingly enthusiastic endorsement of Donald Trump by his former butler, Hope n' Change couldn't help but wonder if this news would help attract more millenial voters who really only associate butlers with crime fighting and weepy PBS drama series.

Oh sure, Hillary Clinton had a private server, and Bill Clinton had an extremely private server, but there's something about having an actual butler which just screams class and, in all likelihood, a secret identity devoted to ass-kicking.

As opposed to ass-licking, per our next cartoon...

Hope n' Change isn't much liking the groundswell of rumors about a brokered GOP convention and a consortium of power brokers trying to replace the peoples' choice (no matter how insane) with a candidate of their own choosing who hasn't participated in the process.

Those are the kind of backroom shenanigans which have created the Trump phenomenon - and for good reason: voters are sick of being sold out, ignored, and manipulated.

We're still not endorsing Trump at this point - but we are endorsing a nomination process which remains in the hands of real people instead of a fraudulent process which is going to the dogs.  (Warning: that link takes you to a hilariously filthy song which is NSFW, but nicely sums up how the GOP puppetmasters surely feel about themselves.)

Just Said No

We've just learned that Barack Obama has "just said no" to attending the funeral of former First Lady Nancy Reagan, so he can instead attend the SXSW media festival in Austin, Texas (city motto: "The Liberal Cancer in the Lone Star State").

"If I didn't attend a funeral for a sitting Supreme Court Justice, I sure as hell won't be wasting my time going to one for an old first lady," the president may well have said. "Give me a break, there's nothing less important than a first lady!"

In his place, the president is sending...the first lady.

BONUS: VAST LEFT RING FINGER CONSPIRACY

We can't really comment as much as we'd like today (and possibly the next few days) because we're still plagued with a pinched nerve in our neck/shoulder which makes half of our left hand tingle (but not in the orgasmic Chris Matthews way) and burn and flop around on the computer keyboard as clumsily as Bernie Sanders trying to explain how he'll pay for $19 trillion in new expenditures.

The condition is called "cervical radiculopathy," which is an annoyingly lame name which won't generate any sympathy whatsoever. Seriously, it suggests there's something ridiculous wrong with our cervix rather than a painful (and very manly) hand condition. We think "cervical radiculopathy" should actually be the psychiatric diagnosis for women who feel compelled to vote with their naughty bits.

Hope n' Change appreciates the suggestions for treatment and exercises that you've been sending, and later today we expect to receive an inflatable collar from Amazon which will allow the vertebrae in our neck to "lift and separate" (as the Playtex bra commercials used to encourage) while providing the additional benefit of making us look like a Burmese "giraffe woman" with a full set of golden neck rings. We like to think of this as an act of cultural outreach.

We're also experimenting with some speech-to-text dictation programs, but it's our hope that in a few days we'll have the problem resolved and can get back to computing, cartooning, and writing commentaries normally. Well, at least as "normally" as before.

And we hasten to point out that we're NOT laying off because Donald Trump or anyone else is paying us huge sums of money to keep our mouths shut, although if they'd like to call and make an offer, we do pick up the phone with our good hand.

Obamacare Update: Guilty Until Proven Innocent

Believe it or not, the situation is worse than this. No actual judges are involved in your conviction or sentencing.

To briefly recap current news, the GOP candidates are still duking it out, Donald Trump has added "increased use of torture" to his platform, more illegal emails from Hillary have been released, suicide bombers are still blowing people up, North Korea has ordered their military to get ready to use nuclear weapons, our southern border is now officially out of control, and Nancy Reagan - a first lady of genuine style and elegance - has left us at the age of 94.

With all of that out of the way, Hope n' Change wants to return to a topic we've been covering on a regular basis: the seemingly unending stream of problems our family has had with Obamacare. And we're doing this because we assume that the same is happening to a lot of families and, if either Hillary or Bernie wins the presidency, even more aspects of our lives will be controlled by bungling Obamacare-style bureaucracies.

First the good news: after months of haggling and production of innumerable documents, Healthcare.gov has finally accepted our proof of income and is no longer threatening to cancel our insurance. Additionally, daughter Jarlsberg's insurance is finally back in place - although she now has to begin a lengthy claims process to recoup the over $1000 in medical expenses she incurred during the period that Healthcare.gov claimed she didn't exist.

Now the bad news, in the form of a Facebook post by my niece: "Well, our kids' insurance just got cancelled because, despite us sending in every document they asked for (multiple times), they still decided it wasn't enough."

A little backstory: we're talking about a wonderful family here - a Pastor, his wife, and their kids. The kind of people you want for neighbors and friends. People of faith who are actively doing good (albeit not high-paying) work in their community. In other words...people the current administration really doesn't like.

Here's more of their story: "We were previously on regular insurance provided by the church. But with Obamacare, the cost of employer provided plans went too high, so we decided to buy on the marketplace - but they said the kids HAD to go on the state health care (CHIP) due to our income level.  The kids had never been on a state plan prior to Obamacare, but they gave us no choice.

The first year they had no record of our first three months of coverage. The second year, they made us prove our income with multiple pay stubs and a letter from my job, etc, but threatened to drop the kids. Finally everything went through. This year, my husband sent pay stubs... but they said he didn't send enough. The second time he tried, their fax machine wouldn't pick up. Then he mailed everything plus a letter from my employer. But today we got notice that the kids' coverage was dropped, and they claim they tried to contact us twice. That's a lie, because we never got a call or email warning us."

And there you have it: when it comes to Obamacare you are guilty until proven innocent - subject to losing your insurance and being fined with no due process whatsoever. And even when you provide every shred of possible proof of your financial status, the government can still reject it by simply saying they don't believe you. 

This is unconstitutional un-American health-obstructing madness which, if a Democrat wins in November, will someday be looked back on as "the good old days."