Freedumbing of the Press

Like Obamacare? Then you're going to love Obamanews - the exciting new FCC initiative to make sure that decision-making in the nation's newsrooms gets (ahem) "fixed" to assure that voters will hear only what they are supposed to hear.

The program, called the "Multi-Market Study of Critical Information Needs" or CIN (presumably pronounced "sin") for short, will place FCC "researchers" in newsrooms to examine how reporters, editors, and station owners decide which news stories to run, and why more female anchorwomen aren't wearing tampon earrings (as was done on MSNBC) to protest the GOP's War on Women.

The FCC researchers, who absolutely shouldn't be called "thought police" unless you want your mysterious death reported as an "on the lighter side" news item, will review "the process by which stories are selected," whether the news organizations cover "critical information needs," whether they're responsive to "underserved populations," and whether there is "perceived station bias" in harping on old stories like Benghazi when there's so much breaking news about Miley Cyrus.

Oddly, the FCC's "fact finding mission" will include placement of their representatives in news organizations which deal only in print...over which the FCC has absolutely no authority. Then again, as long as Barack Obama is making up new powers and getting away with it unchallenged, why should any other agencies show restraint? Especially if it will never be reported.

But truthfully, Hope n' Change DOESN'T think this is a draconian abuse of the First Amendment, we DON'T think this will have a chilling effect on what little news is still being reported, and we most certainly DON'T have a scary-looking FCC guy standing behind us right this very minute help help help.

Wednesday Double-Header

We Have Ways Of Making You Not Talk

Speaking in Orlando, Florida (home of all things Mickey Mouse and Goofy) on Monday, HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius declared "there is absolutely no evidence - and every economist will tell you this - that there is any job loss related to the Affordable Care Act."

Unless, of course, you're one of the economists working in the Congressional Budget Office who recently said they expect Obamacare to kill around two and a half million jobs.

Of course, this isn't the first time that Sebelius has demonstrated that she's non compos mentis.  When she was initially quizzed about the flood of Obamacare waivers being issued to political cronies of this administration, she claimed not to have ever heard of them. And her disastrous stewardship of the Obamacare website is now the stuff of legend; at least the captain of the Titanic had the good grace to go down with his ship instead of insisting that no one was drowning.

Barry Mitzvah

Proving once again that he's not afraid to take on the tough questions from hard-hitting journalists, Barack Obama sat down for an interview with, uh, former basketball player Charles Barkley.

During the alleged interview, the president declared that signing up for Obamacare is now "just part of growing up" for young Americans, which will surely come as a horrible shock to Pajama Boy - the program's effete jammy wearing, cocoa sipping, parental basement dwelling mascot.

Oddly, this is the first time that Hope n' Change can recall the president ever encouraging anyone to "grow up" instead of latching on to the government teat like a ravenous lamprey affixing itself to a manatee.

But then again, Obama is really just telling the kids to give him their freaking money so they don't get hurt. Which isn't so much "growing up" as getting bullied.

Executive Ordure

Today is President's Day - a day for us to celebrate the births of two great American Presidents, and to mourn the fact that we're currently stuck with a miserable little weasel turd who is pretending to be king while systematically dismantling our country.

Barack Hussein Obama (tantalizingly known to his many radical Islamic relatives in Africa as "Our American Cousin") is solemnly observing this historic occasion by wrapping up a three day golf holiday "with the boys" while his wife and daughters take yet another vacation on the slopes of Aspen...no doubt thinking about how much fun George Washington could have had at Valley Forge if he'd only had the foresight to pack skis.

For the rest of us, the day largely boils down to two things: no mail and President's Day sales.

Which, when you think about it, rather perfectly symbolizes the current officeholder: a lack of government services and, thanks to his "if you like your health insurance you can keep it" promise, the biggest and sleaziest sales job in our nation's history.