Friday, July 29, 2011

Harry Situation



As House Speaker John Boehner struggled unsuccessfully to pull together votes for his economic bill last night (postponing any vote until today at the earliest), Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid made it very clear that the GOP's last-ditch effort to save the country from possible economic default would come to nothing. "Boehner's bill dies tonight," said Harry, while cackling and rubbing his grubby little mitts together.

Amazingly, Reid was able to make this pronouncement despite
not having read what is in Boehner's bill...although we suppose if the democrats can routinely vote in favor of bills without reading them, there's no reason to believe they'd bother to read the ones they already know they're against thanks to their awesome psychic powers.

And just
why are the democrats and Barack Obama so opposed to Boehner's bill, after they've described the potentially devastating effects of not passing something? (For instance, Nancy Pelosi says that the debt ceiling must be raised to "save life on this planet as we know it," although in fairness she may not realize that the planet she's currently on is Earth).

Harry Reid says that he's against the Boehner plan because he doesn't want to be "back in this untenable situation a few months from now." When, presumably, he'll be much too busy
not reading more potential legislation. Not to mention his need to attend the Cowboy Poetry festival.

Meanwhile, the Whitehouse says the reason that Boehner's temporary funding measure isn't acceptable is because the next round of negotiations would come late in the year and spoil Christmas... although they didn't actually
say "Christmas," preferring to use the more politically correct term "holidays" which includes Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and the Obama family's "Death to Israel" feast. But no question, talking about saving the economy would really put a damper on the holiday fun, as well as cutting into the president's precious fundraising time.

Of course, the biggest obstacle to Boehner's bill (in the House, anyway) is actually the Tea Party conservatives who want no part of raising the debt ceiling now in return for promises of spending cuts later. And who can blame them? We've all seen this game played out innumerable times and the promised spending cuts never materialize. Moreover, the Tea Party types realize that with Harry Reid and Barack Obama promising to scuttle the Boehner bill, a vote to pass it is really an act of pure political gamesmanship...and they're rightly sick of Washington's games.

And so the flood waters are rising rapidly and, like our little beaver friend in the cartoon above, there's not much we can do now but wait...and continue to dam to the best of our abilities.


Dam
Harry Reid, dam Barack Obama, and dam every other free-spending politician who has left this country drowning in their debts.


Amazing nature fact: Beaver dams, much like Democrats, can block almost anything!
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Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Halfocaust



Barack Hussein Obama continues to beat the American people over the head with the focus-group tested terms "compromise" and "balanced approach" regarding our nation's spending crisis. After all, what could be more reasonable than compromise? What could be more fair than "balance?"

And while many well-intended idiots (including
plenty in the media) will swallow that reasoning hook, line, and sinker, Hope n' Change has posed the little thought experiment above in hopes of getting people to realize that "compromising" to commit half of a great evil is still a great evil.

Would just 3 million Jews in Germany's ovens have been no big deal? If the Oslo shooter only killed
half as many victims, should we shrug it off and say "that seems fair"? If only one World Trade Center tower crashed into the streets of New York, would it have failed to make the nightly news? Would lynch mobs who hang only 50% of blacks, latinos, gays, Muslims, Christians, or corporate jet owners be acting in the highest and most noble traditions of our forefathers?

Of course not. The idea is an
obscenity.

Which is why it's so appalling to hear Obama - the
alleged master of language - use terms like "balance" and "compromise" for such perverse ends. Seriously, this president uses words the way a pederast uses children...debasing them for his personal pleasure.

If an Obama-style "compromise" or "balanced approach"
is ultimately agreed upon by the Republicans, then God help our republic.

Because we'll be
more than halfway to Hell.

An optimist sees the grave as half-empty. A pessimist sees it as half-full.
But a compromiser sees it as "just right."

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Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Not Silent But Deadly



Just when you think Barack Obama couldn't possibly become a bigger liar or more partisan political hack, he produces (or at least reads aloud) a jaw-dropping speech like last night's primetime attack on Republicans, fiscal responsibility, capitalism, and logic.

After being thrown out of the negotiating process, the president desperately elbowed his way back onto television to finally reveal the sinister truth behind our nation's fiscal problems and countdown to disaster. And that truth is...it's Bush's fault!

That's right, Barry's first shot was aimed squarely at George Bush, claiming that virtually all of the debt we're currently drowning in was caused by the President's profligate spending on post 9-11 wars, tax cuts for the evil rich, and unfunded drug benefits for those no good, rotten, dirty senior citizens who Obama hopes will vote for him in 2012.

Obama then suggested that all of our nation's woes have been worsened by corporate jet owners, hedge fund managers, and stinking partisan Republicans who think the only way to reduce the deficit is "all cuts, and no revenue."

Except John Boehner was offering new revenue - $800 billion of it - until Obama went back on his word and refused to honor the deal. And it's Democrat Harry Reid who is now trying to pull Obama's political ass out of the fire by creating a deal which really is all cuts and no new revenue. (Although it's worth noting that Harry's "cuts" aren't cuts at all - and instead amount to things like "cutting" $1 trillion in funding for wars we've already said we're pulling out of).

The president then trotted out a list of all the cuts that Republicans are allegedly trying to force down people's throats: cutting Social Security and Medicare, ending college grants, stopping vital medical research, turning off weather satellites, ending food inspection, and slashing the budget for Mr. Obama's annual Ramadan feast.

Simply put, Barack Obama demanded primetime exposure last night for the sole purpose of telling the biggest, ugliest, and most self-serving political whoppers since Bill Clinton waggled his finger in the air at the TV camera and insisted "I did not have sexual relations with that woman"...while everyone else in the Oval Office tried to figure out where the smell of "Summer's Eve" was coming from.

The president summed up his speech by warning uncooperative Republicans that "the world is watching." Sadly, that's true...and when this pompous, ignorant, angry little stranger preaches class warfare from his bully pulpit, they can see the true measure of how far America has fallen.

As can we all.

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Monday, July 25, 2011

Taking Out The Trash



Once again demonstrating his flair for androgyny, Barack "Eat Your Peas" Obama came to the Whitehouse briefing room in a snit this weekend, and huffed that Johnny Boehner "won't return my calls" and complained that he had been "left at the altar" again. The president then burst into tears and scurried to the Whitehouse kitchen to drown his sorrows in Ben & Jerry's Liberal ice cream.

Basically, John Boehner simply decided he couldn't waste any more time "negotiating" with a man who he characterized as being "like jello" - wobbly and insubstantial on his best days, and a melted pool of slime on the others. The breaking point came when Obama took an already agreed-upon figure for revenue hikes...and suddenly demanded $400 billion more in taxes, knowing that Boehner couldn't (and shouldn't) accept it.

It was at this point that Boehner finally had to acknowledge that this president doesn't want a deal at all, but has only been trying to run out the clock to A) cause a financial disaster for America and B) try to blame it on the Republicans. Which would be a win-win for the anti-American in the Whitehouse.

As a result, Boehner is now negotiating
only with the leaders of Congress, and has told Barack Obama “As I read the Constitution, the Congress writes the laws and you get to decide what you want to sign.” Which would, of course, also apply to the horse the president rode in on.

Notably, the one thing the president has sworn NOT to sign is any short-term debt ceiling increase which would
avert fiscal disaster for our entire country, but be an embarrassment to the president's re-election bid. Which prompted a clearly frustrated Boehner to observe that it's time for the president to stop thinking of the next election, and start thinking about America.

Considering his dangerously skewed priorities,
Hope n' Change thinks we know why Obama has been "left at the altar again."

Because he's not a
leader...he's Bridezilla.


Some debt old, some debt new, some 17 trillion borrowed...and someone blue.
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