In response to a contest to "draw Muhammad" in Garland, Texas, two Islamic "soldiers of the caliphate" ended up drawing
flies after a brief shootout with security personnel who were not French.
The heavily-armed morons managed to wound one officer (not seriously, thankfully) before being shot dead without even getting a chance to shout
"Aloha Snackbar" or post a final revolutionary tweet.
ISIS quickly claimed "credit" for their warriors' hilariously quick transformation into Lone Star roadkill, and promised that further such attacks on American soil would be occurring just as soon as they could find new stooges and a target anywhere
except Texas.
PARSE-imonious
Following revelations that the non-profit, tax-free Clinton Foundation
only spends about 10% of its huge and quite possibly illegal donations on actually helping the sick and poor, a raspy-voiced Bill Clinton declared, "I don’t think there’s anything sinister in trying to get wealthy people
in countries that are seriously involved in development to
spend their money wisely in a way that helps poor people and lifts them up."
Of course, the "poor people" in question were apparently the "dead broke" Clintons, since only a thin trickle of funds actually makes it to those who are starving and disease-ridden. The rest is spent by the Clinton Foundation on offices, salaries, luxury travel and accommodations, gifts, perks and benefits, email demolition experts, and probably hookers.
"There is no doubt in my mind that we have never done anything knowingly inappropriate in terms of taking money to influence any kind of American government policy," the seemingly syphilitic, impeached ex-president said in an interview on NBC's "Today" show.
"That just hasn't happened."
But let's parse what Bill just did (or didn't) say...
"There is no doubt in my mind" = All that follows is just my personal opinion, not a statement of fact.
"that we" = All that follows depends on the definition of "we." The
entire Clinton Foundation acting unanimously? Bill and Hillary acting in tandem? Bill and whomever else he was thinking about while speaking?
"have never done anything knowingly inappropriate" = Although they may have avoided "knowing" by having their accounting team handle it. Or they avoided "knowing" by not looking at the governing laws. Meanwhile, "inappropriate" does not exclude actions which were "illegal" or "prohibited" - it's simply a subjective opinion about what Bill and Hillary
believed to be appropriate.
"in terms of taking money" = They might have taken stocks, bonds, gold, property, or other items of inconceivable value - but not money
per se.
"to influence" = Of course, it's not "influence" if you simply
deliver what the buyer wanted. The Clintons might have taken the money from foreign players "to change," "to cancel," "to re-evaluate," "to ignore," or "to rewrite" policy.
"any kind" = If the payoff was to influence policy of a
specific kind, it wasn't just
any kind.
"of American government policy" = And what, specifically, is "American government policy?" Rules drawn up by the president? Congress? The Secretary of State herself? Current policy? Past policy? Moreover, the accusation is that the donations may have been intended to buy
future access to the Clintons, to deal with situations which are not
yet "American government policies."
"That just hasn't happened" = If the word "just" is understood to mean "just now, this instant," everything Bill has just denied may have been happening for years,
but not in the 10 seconds prior to his making this statement. Additionally, "happened" could be defined as events which occurred without intent or direction - meaning if the Clintons did every vile trick they're accused of with full intent, none of it "just happened."
In other words, the Clintons can tell the technical truth all day long and still be the biggest liars on the planet. So rather than listen to Bill's words, we're once again paying attention to the finger he's angrily wagging at us.
Last time, it smelled like Monica. This time, it smells like it's been in the cookie jar.
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| Whenever the Clintons speak, the truth is in Jeopardy. |
