Monday, October 12, 2009

Hawaiian Saint


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Pope Benedict XVI has canonized Father Damien for his work amongst the lepers in Hawaii. Barack Obama, an alleged Hawaiian, claims that he recalls "many stories from my youth about his tireless work there to care for those suffering from leprosy who had been cast out." Ah yes, who doesn't have fond memories of joining friends on the Hawaiian beaches to swap leprosy stories?

By the way, Mr president, have you considered moving the prisoners from Guantanamo Bay to an unused Hawaiian leper colony? There's great weather, the security of keeping prisoners on an island (instead of the mainland), plenty of available military personnel, and Hawaiian tourism is already in the dumper. And of course, you could be made a saint!

Bonus: from the Hope n' Change Gift Shoppe, a souvenir Hawaiian travel poster!


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8 comments:

Buzz Bannister said...

Fr Damien used to play cards with the lepers which was quite a sight, what with everybody throwing in their hand because it was rotten.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Buzz, let me find my snare drum so I can give you a rimshot! (grin)

Proof said...

That's okay. Obama's health care plan is as popular as leprosy!

Philip said...

Father Damien, can we see your Birth Certificate, please ?

Philip said...

'O,' say can you see Obama's face on U.S. flag ?

http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=112762

Philip said...

They forgot the hammer and sickle...

Gabriel Girl said...

Oh come on, Stilton, I know it's just because you don't like Hawaii. I happen to think the giant centipedes are cute.

Don't you love it when they crawl up your pants and you have to beat them with your shoe? ;-)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Gabriel Girl, what makes you think I don't like Hawaii and it's gigantic, venomous centipedes that are impossible to kill?

On the contrary, I love Hawaii's unique array of contagious tropical diseases ("bone break fever" anyone? How about "rat lung" disease?) combined with their nonexistent healthcare system (the doctors have fled because of the state's socialized medicine.)

Also delightful is Hawaii's nearly total lack of any industry, their wretched school system, and their pork-barrel "highway to nowhere" which is, mile for mile, the most expensive (and useless) manmade creation ever built.

Mahalo!