Wednesday, January 27, 2010
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In tonight's "State of the Union" speech, Barack Obama is expected to cast his presidency in a new light...backing away from his failed healthcare initiative, his preposterous visit to Copenhagen to change the climate, his Nobel Prize for bowing, his inability to handle Guantanamo Bay, devastating unemployment, and his granting of Miranda rights to Al Qaeda terrorists before they've been thoroughly questioned.
Instead, Obama hopes to suck up to voters by offering the middle class a tepid grab bag of government goodies. Among the president's earth-shaking ideas: a mandatory plan which would force employers to allow their employees to make IRA deposits from their paychecks instead of having the employees deposit the money themselves.
Of course, this doesn't actually accomplish anything (other than sending the message that the president thinks people are too stupid to figure out how to put money in their own accounts) but will add another $100 million in accounting costs to an already-struggling business environment.
Additionally, the president is expected to propose a "spending freeze" which will lock in the already bloated federal budgets that the president has boosted to all-time highs in his first year.
Fortunately, the "State of the Union" won't be entirely negative. Many people plan to treat it as a drinking game, taking a shot of liquor every time the self-obsessed president says either "I" or "me" (as he did 132 times in a recent speech) and five shots whenever he says "I get it" or "I hear you."
With luck, they won't sober up again until 2012.