Friday, July 2, 2010
Police in Portland, Oregon have reopened a 2006 case in which a licensed masseuse claims she was sexually attacked by a giggling, yelling, groping, and leaking Al Gore.
And yes, we just threw up a little.
After initially reporting the incident, the victim refused to pursue the case for several years because her friends felt that Al Gore's mission to "save the world" outweighed the woman's personal pain and suffering.
But now the case has been reopened owing to "new evidence" - which is said to be an unlaundered pair of black slacks that may have (ahem) "DNA streaks" from Mr. Gore.
If so, then Mr. Global Warming may ironically, and appropriately, end up doing time in the cooler.