Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Must Sharia TV



The only thing stranger than an American network introducing a children's show about Muslim superheros who "embody the attributes of Allah," would be if that program was enthusiastically endorsed by...you guessed it!...Barack Hussein Obama.

"The 99," which will be shown on the cable network "The Hub" (formerly "Discovery Kids") features 99 Muslim superheros, each one of whom represents a single attribute of Allah. Among the heros is a "Hulk" knockoff named Jabbar, a super-fast character named Mumita, and a heroine who wears a head-to-toe black burqa and is known appropriately as "Batina the Hidden," whose power is presumably to scare bank tellers and make people in airports suddenly decide to give up their travel plans.

In a meeting with Arab entrepreneurs, Barack Hussein Obama (who, like other superheros, guards his true secret identity) praised the comic series which inspired the show, saying the "superheroes embody the teachings of the tolerance of Islam."

Frankly, we're not sure why you need a guy who looks like The Hulk to teach tolerance; it sounds a lot more like intimidation. But if the "education" president says this is good for our kids, then it must be good for our kids...and we think they should watch!

As long as the boys (Allah be praised!) watch in one room...and the dreadful little girls watch in another.

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Able to leap formerly tall buildings in a single bound.
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25 comments:

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Readers- By the way, isn't it interesting that there are 99 heroes...which just happens to be the number you get when you multiply "9" and "11"? Now where have we heard those numbers before...?

drjim said...

Absolutely disgusting!
I wonder how many of "The 99" will be shown cutting the heads off "The Infidel"?

Anonymous said...

For a guy who's not a Muslim, Baracky Fife sure seems to be going out of his way to promote Islam. What's up with that? Or should we even bother to ask?

JustaJeepGuy

Connecticut Yankee said...

I'm nauseous. Any chance the shows featuring Jewish children demonstrating the proper use of a dreidel or Christian super heroes showing the power of Jesus will be airing one of these days? Or how about we be able to wish one another "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays"?

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

I must find out who the sponsors are so I can send them a "thank you" note.

Suzy said...

Sick.

I should go add that to the thing I wrote about how stupid kids' programming is getting lately. Nothing wrong with good ole' Looney Tunes, last I checked!

GregMan said...

Which one has the super-ability to fly airplanes into buildings filled with civilians?

Suzy said...

Those girl heroes forgot their head coverings.

Pete(Detroit) said...

"Formerly Tall Buildings" - HARF!!!!

"superheroes embody the teachings of the tolerance of Islam."
Ok, I'll bite - WHAT "tolerance" in Islam? Women? Homos? Ankles or wrists? Free thought? Free Speech? Art? Music?
Oh, wait.. Beasitality, Check! Pedophilia, Check! Wanton slaughter, Check!
Ok, got it now! Page::Same!

Anonymous said...

This sounds like something from The Onion, but you can't make this stuff up.

Anonymous said...

Is that Jihadi Optimism in the wheelchair?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Readers- On the plus side, Barack Obama has reminded us that Islam basically created the mathematics that enabled NASA to put men on the moon, and this show will also encourage math skills in young viewers. For instance, one of the very first story problems presented is "If each hero gets 72 virgins, and there are 99 heroes, how many virgins do you need?"

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Anonymous (three above)- We only wish we were making this stuff up.

Anonymous (two above)- If that is "Jihadi Optimism" I'm totally filing a lawsuit. Right after I buy a steel collar to protect my neck.

Rachel said...

I was excited about this channel and how they're showing so many of my childhood favorites. Now I'm not so sure...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Rachel- By all means let the network know your feelings!

Dixie Quilter said...

I'm only a housewife in a small town, so I'm not up on some things. But my burning question is: WHY is our president commenting on a cartoon? any cartoon? I mean, if he were making a statement about Dora the Explorer, I would still be asking, WHY? I don't really care what he thinks about programs on TV. And lest anyone question my "bigotry"....I don't care what Bush thinks about cartoons either.

Suzy said...

I agree Dixie....Obama doesn't care that a woman's husband got shot in Mexico and that the head policeman got decapitated...but he will weigh in on a kids cartoon.

Good grief.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Dixie- For starters, we don't believe there's such a thing as "only" a housewife!

And what makes this interesting is that this president seems to have an obsession with pushing Islam down our throats. He told the top administrator of NASA that "Muslim outreach" was now NASA's main mission. He lectures us on the need for a Ground Zero mosque. He insists we "not leap to conclusions" when a gunman shouts "Allah Akbar!" and murders American soldiers, or when a terrorist tries to ignite a bomb on a plane.

But then where is his courage when it comes to commenting on the Mexican decapitation outrage? To say anything, he'd have to admit that his desire to keep our southern borders open because "the next Einstein" might sneak in is ludicrous - and that we're far more likely to have killers entering our country...but that he's leaving the borders open simply to get votes.

And why isn't last year's Nobel Peace Prize winner commenting about this year's winner...who is imprisoned by the Chinese? But no, he's afraid to say that the Chinese are doing anything wrong.

Considering Obama's moral cowardice about speaking out on these matters, it becomes obvious that he feels much more passion about advancing Islam...and that worries us.

greentangent said...

Wow! BHO IS in the 99! Isn't that him in the green suit, upper right corner? And below Him is Michael Jackson, back from the grave (not enough little boy virgins in heaven evidently) and above him to the left is Midget Elvis, also back from the grave! And, look, there's Waldo (minus his hat) right in the center! The unveiled female heroes must be Turkish and the blond kid in the wheelchair bottom right must be the infidel convert who is recovering from his stoning. Wait! Is that Darth Vader center left?!? That explains a few things ...

greentangent said...

... and if the Arabs invented numbers, why did they have to spell out "Ninety Nine" ?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

greentangent- Good catch! That does appear to be the alleged president in the top right corner! As each one of these (ahem) heroes embodies a single attribute of Allah, we did a quick scan to see what Barack Hussein Obama's hero-name and special power might be...and we think it's Allah attribute #91 - Ad-Daarr the Distresser, who "makes harm reach to whoever He willed and benefit to whoever He willed."

And no, we're not making that up.

AngieComics said...

Stilton,

How can you make such a cartoon if you can't DRAW Allah or Muhammad? Those model sheets must look like Bam's economic plan:





Should all animators have a fatwa against them, I'd recommend outsourcing the production the Terrorist cartoonists...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

AngieComics- apparently each hero only makes up one of Allah's 99 attributes, so if you don't show them all at the same time you should be okay. Showing just one hero is like drawing Mohammed's left nostril.

Proof said...

"Able to leap formerly tall buildings in a single bound."
That's cold! I'm glad you said it, though.

Garrett Lechtenberg said...

Absolutely disgusting! I wonder how many of "The 99" will be shown cutting the heads off "The Infidel"?