Barack Obama, who has previously described himself as a racial "mutt," has decided he'd rather be a friend to sports figures than dogs. How else to explain his recent call to the owner of the Philadelphia Eagles to praise him for giving a "second chance" to Michael Vick - the man who spent 19 months in jail for torturing, electrocuting, and drowning dogs when not forcing them to fight to the death for his own amusement.
It's hard to understand the president's giddy enthusiasm...unless, perhaps, he believes that the police simply planted maimed dogs at Vick's residence, and buried other dead dogs on the grounds. After all, Mr. Obama has famously declared that there's a "long history in this country" of police abuse against African-Americans like Vick. And OJ Simpson.
But apart from that, the president expressed delight at Vick's return to the playing field because "so many people who serve time never get a fair second chance" - unlike recently released detainees from Guantanamo Bay, who are allowed to return to jihaddist terror campaigns.
The president also feels that "individuals who have paid for their crimes should have an opportunity to contribute to society again"...although in this case, "contributing to society" consisted only of carrying a football for $5.25 million a season at the same time that the president has indicated that anyone earning over $250,000 is an evil, selfish threat to society.
But in the end, Barack Obama is simply trying to teach us all a lesson about the importance of forgiveness - and here at Hope n' Change, we're embracing that lesson. And so we forgive the president for his idiotic support of a vicious dog-murdering sonofabitch...and will think no less of him than we did before.
In fairness, Michael Vick does like puppies. With cream gravy.