Sunday, February 20, 2011

The Plop Thickens



In Wisconsin, the Democrats are still revolting (ba-da-boom!), and across the nation unemployment claims are up (surprise!). But to counter the gloom, the Federal Reserve has just released minutes from their January meeting, and the terrific news that we've all been waiting for is: "many participants" believed the economic expansion "is on a firmer footing."

Hooray! T
he good times are back!

Or maybe not. Because there sure are a lot of economic
weasel words even in that short declaration...

For instance, the statement says "
many participants," which means "not all participants"...and since they didn't say "most participants," then the optimists must have been in the minority.

And
then the statement says that the optimists "believe" things are improving... as opposed to "knowing," "demonstrating," or "proving" that the economy is perking up. Uh-oh.

And finally, the statement comes to the underwhelming conclusion that this minority of experts believe that the economic recovery is "
firmer," but not...you know...actually firm. Although if it continues sitting there long enough, and the economists brush the flies away with their Ivy League credentials, it may get firm.

So all in all, we'll have to confess to being unimpressed with this "good news," the Federal Reserve,
and the horse they rode in on.


Don't panic. The Fed assures us that what LOOKS like
economic manure is actually a delicious apple fritter.
-

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

mmmm....apple fritterrrr...

Earl said...

Horse apples.

Pete(Detroit) said...

LOVE the Fritter! Cinnamon apple goodness!

Actually, around here things ARE starting to look up - though it's been so far down for so long it's tough for it to go anywhere BUT up...
Foreclosures are down (everyone has been out of work for so long that they've all been foreclosed, if they were going to be... )
Houses are actually starting to sell again (mainly to "investors" who pray prices eventually come back up, or plan to rent them - and prices are still horrifically low, but at least there are sales)
Unemployment is dropping (people w/o houses or jobs have left the state)
Auto companies are (apparently) making cars people want to buy again, and actually making money (No holds barred YAY on that!)
Auto companies are starting to hire back some laid off workers (that haven't left the state yet)
Auto bonuses are projected to have a strong 'trickle down' effect...

So, while I can't speak for anywhere else, here in Detroit(area) 'things' are definitely looking 'firmer'

Another healthy sign - a LOT of the response to the Gov's proposed budget is "about frigg'n TIME someone got the finances in order." Hopefully, by lowering business taxes, we'll be able to generate some real business growth, and put MORE people back to work... at least those who aren't incurably stupid welfare addicted illiterate parasites....

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

Telling lies without even a hint of conviction is not the way to win over the masses. Even the sheeple who voted for the cow-plop-in-chief are doing facepalms at an accelerated rate. This is not surprising as they are stuck in the same economic purgatory as the rest of us and those who have awakened are suffering some serious buyer's remorse. That's what you get when you impulse-buy.

Ricko Tyler, Texas said...

Volumes could be filled with the wrong assumptions, misinformation and out and out lies that have come through the FED. These men and women are out for "their" bottom line, not the nations. And, if in the course of making a profit, they must lie, misdirect or hide facts; then so be it. After all, remember this most famous line from the Mafia..."it's not personal, it's just business" as the .45 caliber bullet tore through the victim's brain. They are going to destroy America if we don't stop them. Think about it.

Buzz Bannister said...

Did someone say fritter???!!!???

Jim Hlavac said...

I wish the Federal Reserve Board and Obama would quit stealing us gay guy's "It's getting better" slogan. We worked hard to get somewhere, now they're sullying our good name with utter mush words. And taking our slogan! The bullies. Can't we have something to ourselves? Meanwhile, bar business is down, and when we don't have a fiver for a cocktail, something is amiss.

Of course, in the face of the continuing financial crisis with the public purse, several state legislatures tackled the bigger issue of our smooching or something. Hours and hours of testimony fiddling around with us while Rome burns. It's weird to witness.

And certainly thank heavens we didn't get riled up like crazed Democrats & Unions in Wisconsin when we lost all the legislative battles. We just went out for a drink, and sighed, and wondered if we could afford a second one what with our unemployment up too.

Perhaps it's strange bedfellows time -- be nice to us a little -- get our votes - throw the bums out.

robert said...

@Angry Hoosier Dad, I have heard king husseins' ascension to his throne called many things but "an impulse buy" is absolutely beautiful. If there was ever a perfect metaphor, that was it
Thank you.
By the way, I love this site.
You guys and gals are the best.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Pete(Detroit)- Good to hear that things really do seem to be improving, even incrementally, in your neck of the woods. As you point out, that may be because so much has hit bottom already...but even so, improvement is improvement.

Angry Hoosier Dad & Robert- The "impulse buy" description of Obama brings to mind the "morning after" avalanche of Obama inauguration merchandise which hit the Dollar stores once the initial buzz started to wear off.

Jim Hlavac- Smooching is an important legislative issue. Specifically, Republicans are overdue in telling free-spending Democrats and over-powerful unions exactly what they can kiss. In Macy's front window.

Bobo said...

Apple fritter?!? Is that what that's called? A long-long time ago mom worked in a small bakery and she called those delicious bites of apple, sugar, cinnamon and deep fried dough "Camel Turds." Like mother, like son, I still enjoy them and they are heart healthy, I sure.

Think I'll go out and get me one for breakfast now that my salivary glands flowing. Hope I can still afford to buy one what with the economy on firmer ground now. Just tryin' to do my part to help out and take a bite out of the recession.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Bobo- If your mom called them "Camel Turds," that's good enough for me! By all means go out and enjoy one- it stimulates the economy, and they're even sweeter now that Michelle Obama has declared them off limits.

Mister Moron said...

Apple Fritters almost certainly not the only thing the first lady has declared "Off Limits". That, at least, explains that sappy happy smile on President Obama all the time. Can you imagine...? Bleeech. Of course, I'm not gay. He might have just closed his eyes and thought about John Travolta.

Jim Hlavac said...

Stilton -- Macy's windows were almost assuredly decorated by a gay guy paying too much taxes to an Obama administration which has gone to court against us time and again. They have asked for our money to fund their lawyers against us. We are easily fooled, we sissies, but we're getting more savvy. We do not want any Democratic tuckus smooching in our windows. However, we still do have a very few bars in which they might be sequestered which would curl their hair! We gays are not a violent people, but we're willing to tickle the Democrats into submission if you all would but say a nice word about us. Strange bedfellows, like I said. (Just don't touch our junk, it's for professionals only.)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Jim Hlavac- I agree that the slogan "it's getting firmer" should be returned to the Gay community (Sorry, I couldn't resist!) But I also definitely agree with your assertion that Gays will "tickle the Democrats into submission if you all say a nice word about us." Because in my mind, the equation isn't even close: I'm happy to be friends with (and accept the support of) any gay conservative over ANY liberal of ANY persuasion. I personally don't believe sexual preference is a moral "choice," but I DO consider patriotism, pragmitism, and personal responsibility to be choices. As such, I'm happy to have truly conservative gays in the "big tent."

Strange bedfellows or not, we ALL need to put our differences aside in order to protect this nation... which just happens to be the most diverse and tolerant society on Earth.