Friday, April 8, 2011
Even though a possible government shutdown looms on the horizon, Hope n' Change feels that there is other news which demands our attention. Especially since we need to get this cartoon done on Thursday, and the freakin' politicians aren't going to make up their minds on ANYthing before our professional publishing deadline.
Which is why we turn our laserlike focus on Janet Napolitano's announcement that Homeland Security will now be issuing urgent "Security Advisory Alerts" via Facebook and Twitter.
The plan, which is still being ironed out, has advantages and disadvantages. On the plus side, Janet Napolitano can soon be expected to have about 100 million new "friends" who would really like to be warned if there was a 100-megaton nuclear device about to cause a "secular manmade excavation" in their neighborhood.
Similarly, Facebook games like "Farmville" can subtly start teaching people how to augment their farms with bottled water, freeze-dried food, gold, medical provisions, and enough guns and ammo to shoot their Farmville neighbors who didn't plan ahead.
The new, trendier "Social Disaster System" will also incorporate Twitter, although Ms. Napolitano is still trying to work the bugs out of the system. For instance, with only 140 characters to work with in a "Tweet," we can expect to get messages like:
After a careful examination of all the relevant facts and documents, Homeland Security believes you will die unless your family immediately
Or, problems could arise if Ms. Napolitano hammers out a quick message like this one:
Total Mars Attacks scenario but bastards don't know who they're screwing with. Martians soil themselves hearing my Tiger screams. WINNING!
...but everyone ignores it because they think it's just Charlie Sheen screwing around again.
Still, it's nice to know that if we're using Facebook or Twitter in the future, we don't have to worry about accidentally missing the end of the world.
Hey look! You just got a "poke" from Osama Bin Laden!