Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Thanks But No Thanks



24 hours isn't enough time to really absorb the importance and many ramifications of the (highly satisfying) death of Osama bin Laden.

Conflicting and contradictory information seems to be everywhere: did the Pakistani government help hide Bin Laden, or did they help us find him? Or both? Would we have found Osama's hideout if President Bush hadn't authorized waterboarding of high-value detainees at Gitmo? Does Eric Holder feel that we shouldn't have acted on that "illegally obtained" intelligence, and is he upset that Bin Laden wasn't mirandized and given an attorney instead of a couple of live rounds in the forehead?

After the hasty "burial at sea," will we get photographic proof that the deceased was indeed Osama Bin Laden...or will Donald Trump lead a "deather" movement hunting for suppressed documentation? Will Bin Laden's death cause terrorism to decline in the world...or to escalate in terrible ways as retaliation? Can the death of Osama Bin Laden be a unifying event for Americans...or will "politics as usual" sour the moment?

Here at Hope n' Change, we don't have the answers for those questions...and like everyone else, we're watching the breaking news to learn all we can. But one thing we can say with certainty is that the death of Osama Bin Laden is great news for America and the world.

And that somewhere, 72 virgins are projectile vomiting after seeing what washed up at their doorstep.

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37 comments:

James said...

Re: unity. It feels good, doesn't it? The whole country is together and this isn't a partisan issue - though there are some idiots whining about how wrong it is to be happy about someone's death and oh you're all just as he was (an alarming number of them, in fact), the SMART people on both sides of the spectrum are cheering.

One bit of controversy I notice you left out of your write-up, though; if Obama wasn't gonna get re-elected before, he sure as hell IS now.

Shayne said...

@James: It's a bit too early to start planning his second inauguration, isn't it? Just remember, Bush Sr. enjoyed a 90% approval rating after the first Iraq war (Desert Storm). What did that do for him 18 months later?

It's still the all about the economy. Unless gas prices drop back below $3 a gallon, I'm afraid Der Leader is likely a one-hit wonder.

@Stilton: I really imagined the 72 virgins for OBL would look more like Helen Thomas.

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

Whatever "attaboys" Obama earned for the great job our military did, they are more than offset by the millions of "awshits" on gas pumps all over the country. And those "awshits" are amplified every Monday lately. $4.29 here in northern IN yesterday morning.

Fish Out of Water said...

I don't know why I did this yesterday, but I Googled Cindy Sheehan (remember her?) and learned this example of irrelevance has gone on record to say the announcement of Bin Laden's death is a hoax!

Jim Hlavac said...

Oh, Osama doesn't get the 72 virgins -- you need to blow up a pizza shop and kill a few Jews or something. All he did was snivel and crouch in the corner behind a woman while crying "I want my mommy." It was not a glorious moment of jihad to say the least.

And Obama doesn't get an automatic second term -- there's still his misery index of high gas prices, unemployment, foreclosures, high food prices and the rising inflation rate that he must explain.

Anybody who's president can take out a terrorist -- it's takes a special sort of failure to push policies that bring economic ruin. And keep pushing them even went it's obvious they don't work.

Pete(Detroit) said...

Jim - Insanity - keep doing the same thing, and expect different results...

drozz said...

he's shark chum, which is relieving.

i would rather he had been made into pig food.

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

Drozz:
How sweet it would have been to know his carcass had been processed through the intestinal tract of a pig. He'd still come out a POS, but a POS that couldn't get into Islam's phony paradise.

Lee The Voice said...

Osama Ben Laden is dead. News reports say that he was killed by American forces in a heavily walled compound in Pakistan.

Now it is time for us to get out of Afghanistan, and Iraq. While the systematic withdrawal is underway in Iraq, It is time to move up the timetable to today. The same goes for our involvement in Afghanistan. Pull out today.

This will send the message to the world that if you touch the sacrosanct soil of The United States of America, we will hunt you down and kill you, and bring death and destruction upon all who aid you.

Pull out this very day and send that message to the Muslim world, and the world at large. We are not to be trifled with.

We have found the one who ordered the attack. He has been dealt with. The message is delivered. Now, it is time for us to bring our troops home. And while we are doing so, bring every bit of the equipment and supplies that we took with us. Do not leave anything behind.

We have gotten our retribution. Time to pull out and leave the people of that region wondering why they would ever do such a stupid thing as to attack the United States.

This may sound like awfully harsh language from a preacher, but it is my considered opinion that in the grand scheme of things, it is the only way in which we as a nation can come out of this thing that we have gotten ourselves into with honor and dignity.

Bruce In KC said...

The burial at sea is a cover story - in the dark of the night OBL's rotting carcass was secretly flown to an undisclosed pig farm in Iowa and buried under the biggest pile of pig manure they could find.....

John the Econ said...

It really doesn't matter; Obama could dispatch OBL and then walk on water. But by next year if unemployment remains over 8%, gas is over $4, and inflation keeps inching forward, Obama's re-election chances remain dismal...

...unless the GOP goes ahead and nominates another "it's his turn" RINO.

Oh, and I believe that the "72 virgins" is a myth due to a misinterpretation; What they martyrs actually get is "72 raisin". I'm sure that's been a massive disappointment to many.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@James- I don't believe that the death of Osama will be a "Get Out Of Re-election Worries Free" card for Obama. Bin Laden's execution is big news now but, like the guy in the movie "Memento," Americans seem to find it hard to hang onto memories very long.

@Shayne- If the 72 virgins looked like Helen Thomas, it would certainly explain their condition.

@Lee the Voice- I appreciate where you're coming from, but am afraid if we instantly pulled out of Afghanistan and Iraq, many in the region would see this as Osama bin Laden's final great victory: the expulsion of the Great Satan. We dare not create a perception of Bin Laden as a posthumous liberator.

@Bruce in KC- I enjoy your fantasy, but sadly it's likely not the case. On the other hand, when Osama's body was washed just before dropping it into the drink, I'd like to think he was sponged from a bucket which had been filled from the bladders of every man on that ship.

@John the Econ- I also don't think Obama is unbeatable unless the Republicans again allow the media to choose the easiest candidate to beat.

As far as whether terrorists get virgins or raisins in the afterlife, it all comes down to how one translates the original word for "date." Wrinkled, chewy fruit...or "getting lucky with a woman who has no basis of comparison to know what a crappy lover you are."

Andrew said...

72 Helen Thomas'es? Now, THAT's Hell.

Agreed, the Obama poll bump won't last. Obama's uncomfortable in the CiC role, and it stirs too much uneasy cognitive dissonance with his Kumbiyah core audience. I see him struggling to grab the domestic 2012 credit for the kill among the bitter clingers while straining to hedge his bets with his pan-Islamic global donors/fan club.

Typical of the confused amateurism of this Administration are the stream of conflicting leaks of contradictory details of the raid--don't these clowns even know how to run a closed after-action debriefing?

Pete(Detroit) said...

Lee, sadly, Osama was NOT all of Al Q. There is still a large, heavily armed and at least partially trained group of people who want us dead or submissive. Personally, I'd rather have the army guys fight 'em THERE, then here. But hey, maybe that's just me.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Andrew- It IS interesting that there are conflicting stories coming out of the Whitehouse - and yet they were quickly able to flood the media with pictures of Obama intently watching a television as the military took out bin Laden. This is less about "bin" than it is about "spin."

robert said...

I heard my first osama joke.

What is an osama martini?

Two shots and a splash.

Hey, I never said it was a good one!

I wanted to wait for a while before weighing in on the alleged president. OK, great, he's done one thing right. The laws of odds, chance and probabilty would dictate that eventually he did something right.

By the way, wasn't it only a couple of weeks ago he was considering not paying said heros?

Anonymous said...

What the Koran doesn't say is that the 72 virgins will be the members of Al Quida. Satan will be the one in the driving seat and they will be the virgins in the receiving end. Then they'll wish the believed in pork greese

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Robert- I give Obama some credit for this action, but at the same time what other choice did he have? He could never tell our intelligence agencies to stop looking and, once Osama's location was known, his only options were to either act - or wait for word to leak out that he had let Osama go. In other words, Obama will do what's right when (and only when) there's no other choice.

@Anonymous- Ouch.

Andrew said...

2 shots and a splash. That's guaranteed to go viral :-)

@Stilton, we were kicking around our bafflement last night at the conflicting/contradictory leaks followed by 'corrected' leaks--first she was Osama's wife, cravenly used as a human shield by cringing Osama, then no she was an innocent victim caught in crossfire in another room--Osama died shooting at Our Boys, then no he was shot while unarmed, etc--followed by the oh-so-respectful, one-step-short-of-a-hero's-burial at sea (with Islamic prayers read, no less), yadayada.
What an oddly wasted propaganda opportunity to discredit him (an
d no surviving eyewitnesses ever to contradict our final official version.) Why not release a tale of him meeting a suitably villainous end--groveling, pleading cravenly for his pitiful life, offering to renounce jihad and even Islam and rat out all of Al Qaeda if only the SEALS would spare his life--and so on.
Shift the story to one in which it's impossible for anyone to paint him as a martyr, and so vividly craven that it becomes impossible to imagine his last moments as anything but a betrayal of everything he stood for.
Goebbels could have had a field day with this. Just as Stalin had total freedom to release whatever stories of the Fuhrerbunker best served his purposes.
If we don't it's only because Obama has some other agenda with his Islamic donors/audience...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Andrew- It's odd that the Whitehouse distributed a picture of Obama and his team watching the operation move-by-move, and yet nobody seems quite clear now on a lot of the details.

I agree that the word should go out that Osama died cursing Allah, and I don't particularly give a crap if it's true or not. If we control the only proof, then we control the story. Which also means that the story we're hearing is the story the Whitehouse wants told.

Meanwhile, we're being told that the "death photo" of Osama will show him on the ship after he'd been cleaned up a bit. I don't think that's going to fly; if the pictures of the body don't show it at the compound, then critics will say that the "Osama lookalike" body was already waiting onboard the ship when the helicopters transported some other unlucky SOB out of that compound.

Anonymous said...

I can answer some of those questions!

Head of the Just Us department, Eric Holder, said the operation was "lawful, legitimate and appropriate".
http://bbc.in/k53ndr

A day after mocking Donald Trump and interrupting The Celebrity Apprentice to give a speech, Barak Obama appealed to lawmakers to continue the spirit of national unity that followed Osama bin Laden's death. I suppose unquestioning obedience would equal unity, right?
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hiQRwMNugDJsEwO9krQQKN3BqrqA?docId=cc5cdc73eb74476fb3c6cdbf82597421

Anonymous said...

BBC changed their webpage, try this Eric Holder link instead:
http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/05/03/us-binladen-holder-idUSTRE7424JR20110503

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous- The idea that Obama is trying to sell Osama's death as a reason for "unity" is as disingenuous as his speech following the Tucson shootings in which he tried to use the blood of innocents to keep people from criticizing the political Left.

The American people are united in their satisfaction that Osama bin Laden is dead. It in no way implies that suddenly we should all start believing that socialism is a good thing.

Andrew said...

Obama-the-alleged-CiC watching 'his' combat team's progress via their helmet cams looks so surreal...yet eerily familiar. Then it occurred to me:

ALIENS. Overconfident inexperienced green Lt. Gorman watching from the safety of the orbiting ship as his Marines recon the deserted colony complex...until the aliens attack and an exasperated Ripley seizes command while Gorman stutters impotently.

Thank God the OBL snuff op went well. Looking at that posed WH war-room PR photo I don't see any Ripley's ready to take over when it becomes clear Obama/Gorman isn't up to the job.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Andrew- That's a great image you've summoned up, and spectacularly apt.

pryorguy said...

I understand as of today he hasnt gotten the bump I expected in the polls.
Hey youre right....he HAD to do it! Even if it made him look like a real American patriot!

robert said...

Stilt, A co-worker and I were discussing that very thing. That if all the pieces magically fell into place, b. hussein HAD to do it. If it came out later that all was go except for him. He would have to hide in a cave in Tora Bora for the rest of his life.

Earl said...

If in fact Obama was backed into taking action after dithering, Hillary would know. If she argued for action while waiting for Obama, there is no way that information will stay secret. This is all getting kind of interesting. And I'm not surprised that there isn't a bump in the polls - yet. The proudest Americans today probably voted for George Bush and feel exonerated. Finally, knowing he'd be on camera in the situation room, couldn't Obama have dressed a little more seriously? I think I heard someone gave him the jacket to cover his golf shirt. Sheesh.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Per the comments above, and from what I'm reading online (including the UK Telegraph), Obama really did get backed into taking action...and took 16 hours to agree to it.

Anonymous said...

With all the talk about this may be a hoax it's best to beleive in the DNA and if the SEALS say they got him, then it's a done deal.
For those that need a litmus test Obama could invite him to the WH for a beer and BBQ. If he's no-show then he's dead. Heck, even Bono wouldn't pass up an invite like that.
Great job your doing here Stilton.
tctsunami

James said...

Looking at it now, when the celebratory fire has died down a bit (please tell me I wasn't the only one greeting folks with a hearty "Happy Bin Laden Is Dead Day!"), I'm beginning to see this in a slightly more cold light. I'm especially upset at the many different stories we're getting, a distressing majority of which almost paint the SEALS as the bad guys. As Andrew said above, they really dropped the ball on this one.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous (two above)- I might question DNA or any other empirical evidence supplied by this Whitehouse, but if the Seals say they got him... they got him.

@James- It's tricky for the Whitehouse right now; unquestionably it was the Navy Seals (the so-called DevGru) who got the job done...but these are also the guys who were described as "Cheney's Assassins" by the Left all too recently. So the administration is tapdancing like Mr. Bojangles at the moment.

moronpolitics said...

I can't draw, but would have done this as 72 up-tight, elderly Roman Catholic Nuns with the traditional ruler on palm rhythm going while they stare at you...slap, slap, slap, slap... Of course, who wants to spend eternity with a bunch of virgins anyway? Seems like a bunch of hookers would be more fun if you like sex, but as they say in Texas "Are you kidding? In this heat?"

Anonymous said...

Ask Panetta is it still an "open question" if Att. General Holder will charge Obama with violatingf Bin Laden's constitutional rights?????

Louis la Vache said...

Maybe the SEALS who took him out were a couple of Italians from New Jersey. This seems to be pretty close to the way it all went down!

Macker said...

Actually, they're 72 Virgin DEMONS with anvil-shaped genitalia!

Meanwhile in Download City...

Reaganite Republican said...

Gr8 stuff as always, Mr Jarlsberg!

Linked @ RR:

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