Monday, June 13, 2011
Feeling that it's his patriotic duty, a California salvage diver is launching an expedition to find and photograph the rotting crab-nibbled corpse of Osama bin Laden in order to prove to himself and the world that the Al Qaeda leader is, quite literally, sleeping with the fishes.
Bill Warren is renting a ship and a remote-controlled submarine at a cost of $400,000 because he feels that the Obama administration should have released the death photos, the way previous administrations have released postmortem photos of Billy the Kid and John Dillinger.
Unfortunately, mentioning "John Dillinger" brings to mind a potential flaw in Mr. Warren's plan, especially in these media-happy days of Anthony's Weiner. It seems that the most famous death photo of John Dillinger suggests that he was enjoying being dead (to put it mildly) and gave rise to subsequent rumors that the Smithsonian Museum put Dillinger's Dingus in a jar of formaldehyde. Which, now that we think of it, might also solve Anthony Weiner's problem.
But what will Bill Warren do if he finds Osama's corpse in a similar condition? Will he be unable to show the world his photos? Or if he does show them, will we have to hear Barbara Walters emit more lip-smacking "nom, nom, nom" sounds about Osama's brine-soaked willy?
Rather than run this appalling risk, we think Barack Obama should finally release the death photos of Osama bin Laden and be done with it...instead of flashing the pictures to just a few "close friends," Anthony Weiner style, in hopes of impressing them with his manhood.