Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Fuzzy Logic



Like Democrats, dogs have a very limited list of possible solutions for all problems. For Democrats, it's demagoguery or tax and spend. For dogs, it's taking a nap or licking themselves. And in many cases, the dogs' options are not only more effective, but trillions of dollars cheaper.

As a case in point, Obama's Council of Economic Advisors just released their report on the president's stimulus bill...apparently unaware (wink-wink, nudge-nudge) that with all of the 4th of July parades, celebrations, and fireworks, and with all the conservative commentators on vacation, their findings would escape close scrutiny.

Obama's own experts found that the government spent $278,000 of taxpayer money for every job "created or saved." Meaning we could have just hired 2.7 million street sweepers for $100,000 each...and we would not only have saved $427 billion dollars, but we'd have streets so clean you could eat off them. Or in this economy, sleep in them.

But the report also notes that the number of jobs "created or saved" by the president's use of a monetary fire hose has recently declined from 2.7 million to 2.4 million...meaning that in the past 6 months, the "stimulus" has actually caused 288,000 people to lose their jobs. And experts speculate that our economy would now be hiring at a faster rate if no stimulus had ever been passed.

But at least spending all of that money felt really good for the president (and surely felt pretty good to all the politically connected types who actually received the money).

Still, for the future of our country, we think the president should replace his current economic advisers with dogs.

And perhaps take up yoga.

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Musical Bonus: It's very easy to imagine the president singing this song, which is totally NSFW ("not safe for work") and not for those easily offended. Or anyone with a mouthful of coffee.

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31 comments:

robert said...

"Licking his own crotch" Om my God that's hilarious. Spit up my morning beverage on that one.

Pete(Detroit) said...

yes, we'd all be better off if he engaged in more auto-erotica and quit figuring out new way to put it to the rest of us...

and yes, full point bonus on the song!

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

A slush fund to pay off connected political allies. What were we talking about again...stimulus or TARP?

Chuck said...

And from the main stream media I hear ... crickets.

Earl said...

Great bonus song, especially if you picture our president singing it. Except for the fact that I really like dogs.

John the Econ said...

I just don't know what you are talking about. The stimulus was highly effective; just not at helping the economy. Contrary to popular rhetoric, the main purpose of the stimulus was to reward Democratic Party constituencies that had mostly been shut out since the Democrats lost control of Congress in 1994. 15 years worth of unfunded graft doesn't come cheap!

And for all that money spent, you'd think that at least the streets would be clean. Every time I drive through town I am disgusted by the thought that for all of the money we spend on welfare and "stimulus", the streets and highways should be spotless.

But what this report doesn't address are the jobs that were lost as resources were diverted away from the productive sector of the economy to the phony "stimulus" jobs. (most of which will disappear when the stimulus does and will contribute to "the hangover") Whereas it's relatively easy for the government to hire someone and count that individual as a "job created", it is difficult to impossible (and politically undesirable) to identify and count individual jobs lost as the result (or unintended consequences) of government intervention in the economy. In reality, the "net" effect of the stimulus was much less than 2.4 million jobs, if any at all. That $278,000 per/job was likely actually closer to $666 billion per job, mainly supporting just one individual: Obama.

As I said over 2 years ago, a far more "fair" and arguably effective "stimulus" approach would have been a massive tax cut on actual taxpayers. Not only would real (meaning not politically connected) citizens have benefited, but in the long run the stimulus actually would have cost less, since the real economic activity created actually would have been taxable. (Since they can't even tell us how most of the Obama stimulus money was really spent, they can't possibly know how much was recouped in taxes, if any)

Of course, like I said above, that certainly was not the point of "the stimulus". The last thing Progressives want are empowered citizens deciding on their own how to spend their money. The real point of "the stimulus" was for them to spend your money "correctly" as they think it should be spent, and to pay back their political benefactors.

Sorry suckers!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Robert- When working on the cartoon, I just asked myself what a dog's perspective would be. And in this case, I think the dog had it right.

@Pete(Detroit)- Does "Cash for Clunkers" qualify as auto-erotica?

@Angry Hoosier Dad- Po-tay-to, Po-tah-to.

@Chuck- Speaking of bumfuzzling silence from the media, I read a story today in which Obama claimed that his weekend meetings about the debt ceiling with congressional leaders from both houses showed real progress. The problem: neither Mitch McConnell nor John Boehner are aware of any such meetings and don't know what Obama is talking about.

@Earl- The gleeful (and gross) declaration of self-love in the song simply screams "Obama." And for the record, I like dogs too. In fact, right now I'd vote for any dog running against Obama in 2012.

@John the Econ- Bullseye. The Democrats' favorite interest groups raked in most of that money - and will be using it to fund their continuing torture of our country.

And as you point out, the government can't truly "create" jobs...all it can do is stop impeding job growth. But they won't.

There's a very simple dictum that applies here: you'll get less of anything that you tax, and get more of anything you fund. Which is why raising taxes on productivity and increasing funding for government dependency has put us in the critical state we're in.

Jim Hlavac said...

I explain to idiots the stimulus thus: the government taxes, borrows or inflates $20 out of a citizen, brings the cash to Washington for a vacation, and then gives the citizen, or worse, a different citizen, back his $15 with a multitude of strings on how to spend it attached, for now they're "federal" dollars -- with the $5 lost to the bureaucrats called a "FOC" -- the Federal Overhead Charge, and yes pronounced like that other F-C- word. How anyone ever thought this could help anyone is beyond me. How "experts" could not see this seems like venal near criminal intentional vapidity. But I am a little radical on these things.

John the Econ said...

And it turns out that if you are "rich", you're more likely to be happy with Obama than if you are "poor":

http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/gallup-obama-hits-all-time-low-among-poo

If you're rich because you're a crony-capitalist or subsidy king, you're likely to be very happy with this president.

John the Econ said...

Jim: If only! I think you have it backwards. Depending on the area of government in question, the "heat loss" imposed by the Washington loop is more towards the range of over 70%. Getting $15 would be a dream!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- By the way, I apparently misspoke on the Whitehouse debt ceiling meetings this weekend. Boehner now confirms that they did take place, but they were supposed to be secret until Obama started yapping. Yet another trait he shares with dogs.

@Jim Hlavac & John the Econ- Granted, the government gives us back far fewer of our dollars than we put in. BUT...they give us back magic dollars! Thanks to the "multiplier effect," every dollar they put back into the economy supposedly generates something like $1.60 in "growth." Except that they ignore the $1.60 (or more) in damage they did to the economy by taking the dollar away from the private sector in the first place. And, of course, keeping a little for their trouble.

Pete(Detroit) said...

Stilt - "Auto-Erotica" - wince

John the Econ said...

Stilton: Not just the $1.60 in damage, but also the interest payments over the next who-know-how-many years.

Remember the bank overhaul bill they passed a year or so ago? It's the one that mandates all of the notices on your bill that tells you how long it will take to pay off your balance if you only make the minimum payments. Wouldn't it have been great if someone had slipped in some wordage requiring that all spending bills have the same language right at the top?

Andrew said...

Reminds me of the 'yellow dog' opposition vote.
Back in the terrible postwar years of Federal martial law, bayonet rule and Washington-appointed governers the North was pleased to call 'Reconstruction', when the defeated Democratic party was the Jeffersonian party of limited government and state's rights, and Lincoln's Republicans and their Union Army were treating the conquered States as the Roman Army treated unruly provinces, the 'Yellow Dog Democrat' was born.
As in 'I'd vote for a yellow dog if they ran him on the Democratic ticket.'

And I intend to vote for any yellow dog but Obama in 2012.

Jim said...

In the copier business, we have a joking, rhetorical question, and that is; does fuzzy logic tickle?

pryorguy said...

I feel that many many people are wise to Obama at this point and are getting fed up...even many who supported him...but, the damage he has done is simply incredible! He really is trying to do what he said...CHANGE this country, just like a standard enemy would do!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Pryorguy- I think more people are catching on to Obama, but it won't matter if things like Obamacare aren't stopped. I read an article today suggesting that, contrary to the promise "if you like your health insurance you can keep it," as many as 78 million people will lose their employer health insurance as a direct result of Obamacare - and the insurance companies will largely cease to exist. At that point, whether he's still in office or not (full implementation comes in 2014), Obama will have broken something that can't be fixed...and the country will never be the same.

Not that I'm 100% sure it can ever be the "same" after everything else this guy has done.

Anonymous said...

I just read that Obama has already broken records on fund raising. Friggin' great. And Republicans are having a hard time raising money- I'm scared to my core that Obama may actually get re-elected. And have you heard about his plans to let China grab the oil from Canada? He's stalling legislation that would OK a pipeline to the US, so Canada is poised to build that pipeline to the coast where it can be shipped to China. God save us-

pryorguy said...

Another thing...I remember when Bill Clinton was dubbed 'the teflon president' because nothing he did ever stuck to him...well, Obama is MUCH better than that...nothing sticks to him because he and his ilk just flat LIE their way out if whatever they are accused of, and the media in their back pocket fails to report it or just plays it down. Was just reading this story...

"The top man in the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (ATF) has turned sensationally against his Department of Justice bosses saying they were trying to stymie an investigation into the Operation Fast and Furious scandal."

And this is just great, but sure enough, every time I think the current administration will be damaged by their nefarious actions, it gets no traction except maybe on Foxnews. How discouraging!

Pete(Detroit) said...

Anon - money is less and less of an issue. While still relevant, to be sure, what you NEED is attention - and many R's have that in spades. I suspect the reason they're having issues is that there's so friggn' MANY of 'em that no one's going to want to commit until there's a clear leader. Good news is, it's getting thinner... Newt's out of gas - that's clear to all but Newt. Mitt's fast becoming a media darling, kiss of death that that is. Don't know if Cain's broken the 10% barrier or not. Sure sign that folks want someone, ANYone else is Bachmann's debut at 20%...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous- On the bright side, we should want China to remain prosperous since they're the only ones who will lend us money. Right...?

@Pryorguy- You're right; Obama doesn't need a teflon coating because nothing is really even thrown at him. The man never met a baldfaced lie or anti-American sentiment that he didn't love, and almost no one is calling him on it.

@Pete(Detroit)- I agree; I think when the field thins a bit more you'll see people coming out of the woodwork to donate money and time. I hope. (Gulp!)

Doktor Paulie said...

Ah! To have such friends as you, here.

Let Obama raise money to try to sell his lies. The truth is staring too many in the face.

Keep calm and carry on, Friends.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Doktor Paulie- I agree. It's a waste of time and energy to constantly be trying to figure out how strong the opposition is. Better to just fight the good fight.

By the way, "Keep Calm and Carry On" is a supersize magnet on my refrigerator, showing the slogan from the old WWII signs in England. Those folks can teach us a lot about grace and courage under fire.

Anonymous said...

On another note, you may or may not have heard about the dinner with Biden and himself he's raffling tickets off for. Make a donation to his campaign, and you're automatically entered to "win". Well, he shot the promo for it in the Map Room of the White House, which violates the law stating he can't campaign from the White House unless it's from his personal quarters. Oops. But, that's not being talked about in the MSM either. Oh, well.

robert said...

I like the "Keep calm and carry on"

But my personal favorite is

"Illigitimis nil carborundum"

"Don't let the bastards grind you down"

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous (two above)- An illegal campaign video touting a sleazy raffle. Whatever happened to the concept of gravitas? Or obeying the law?

@Robert- Everything sounds more official in latin. That's why doctors and lawyers can charge such ridiculous fees.

JustaJeepGuy said...

@pryorguy,

Ronald Reagan was called the "Teflon President" by the MSM, but I always thought the news establishment MADE Slick Willie the true Teflon President. They wouldn't cover anything bad about Slick until it was impossible to cover it up any more. The MSM is even worse with Barack Hussein. In fact, one of the reasons Barack was even a candidate is because the MSM got so tired of covering for Slick WIllie. They would have to still cover for him if Hillary had been the Demo_rat candidate and they thought Barack was so much cleaner (so to speak). Oh, for the MSM to have an attack of conscience!

pryorguy said...

Yeh, the MSM is quickly becoming the force to reckon with in determining who runs and wins elections from school board to the presidency...I really don't think that is the way it is supposed to be! I have done some news writing, and we were told 'none of your own opinion, just the facts'!
But, just as Obama and his motley crew boldly break the rules, so does the MSM. I guess in this brave new world, you just cannot play by the rules anymore and expect to come out on top! That's a sad statement of our times.

moronpolitics said...

I'M ON STRIKE !! Why not? This site is only the 352,934th most popular site on the web and moronpolitics is over the 20 MILLIONTH !!! Just because this one is funny, informative and kept up daily ( more or less ) and mine is dull, has not pictures and sometimes I don't even post for 2 or 3 weeks..it's obviously RACISM RACISM or HETEROPHOBIA. Possibly both. Admit it you colorless homo's !!! Which btw doesn't mean "men" but "same" so.... Admit it you colorless same's !!!!

SC said...

I’m saving my $$ (they are few & far between) until the nominee has been chosen, then, I’ll cut loose with a little cash. I don’t want to waste it during the primary; anyone of them is a million times better than what we have now.

These dems do not play by the rules. I.e.: Rahm skirting by the residency law & became mayor of chgo anyway. I’m not surprised that Obama making campaign videos from the Whitehouse and is getting away with it. The MSM does not hold him culpable for any wrongdoing or even things like gaffs.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@pryorguy- Rules? They're more like suggestions these days.

@moronpolitics- It's true. Hope n' Change cartoons is the single most popular website on the Internet except for the 352,932 that are slightly more popular. But what we lack in quantity of visitors, we make up for in quality!

@SC- I also plan to throw some dough into the kitty once the field narrows a bit. Assuming that after the debt ceiling talks this coming Sunday, I have any dough.