Monday, February 27, 2012

Convenient Lies



To help make sure that Americans can get the cold, unvarnished facts about national savior, Renaissance genius, and supersecret Navy Seal commando Barack Hussein Obama, the president's team is paying for a campaign film by the Oscar-winning director of "An Inconvenient Truth."

In case you don't remember, "An Inconvenient Truth" was the alleged film in which absolutely nothing happened other than a bloated Al Gore giving a powerpoint slideshow saying that every country in the world would simulateously burn up and sink into the oceans...unless they started buying carbon credits from Al Gore Incorporated. And while the science behind Gore's claims is controversial, the film undeniably made an extremely convincing case that Oscars are handed out as pointlessly as Nobel Peace Prizes.

The Obama campaign has already paid $160,000 in initial expenses on the 30 minute film, and may be spending more during the post-production phase... presumably when 3D effects will be added, as well as complex CGI sequences which will show the president in places that he's never actually been... like working at his desk.

Additionally, the film's budget will be stretched thanks to the director's clever re-use of film clips which he previously used in "An Inconvenient Truth." For instance, shots of smoke-belching factories previously subtitled "corporations poison our air" will now be cheerily labeled "Obama is putting Americans back to work!"

While there is no official release date for the film, it is expected to appear in theaters nationwide soon and attract millions of eager viewers.

Not for the film's content, of course, but because the president has issued an executive order mandating that health insurance providers will be required to give away free popcorn.


Coming soon to a gullible media near you!
BONUS
BONUS! If this isn't the "official" oscar-winning campaign film, it ought to be!


©RaisingRed.com
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23 comments:

RandyS said...

I copped a peek at a pirated version of the script. The final line of the movie is uttered by a character named J. Q. Public and he shouts unheeded among a throng of starving, impoverished masses lined up at a food bank "Soylent Green is People!"

Angry Hoosier said...

So, what will they title this campaign film, "Killing Bin Laden"? As you alluded to, this is about the only "success" he's had that he wants us to think about. What are the odds that he will identify the intelligence-gathering efforts instituted under the Bush administration as the reason we were able to locate Bin Laden in the first place? I didn't think so. I won't watch the film - life's too short for that, but I will be interested in your review of it, Stilton. (Say, that's an interesting shade of lipstick on that pig there.)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@RandyS- Are you sure it didn't say "Solyndra's green is people's money"?

@Angry Hoosier Dad- Actually, the Bin Laden angle is being handled in a Hollywood blockbuster (from the director who did "The Hurt Locker") using intelligence inappropriately shared by the Whitehouse.

All I can imagine for this shorter film is that they'll find some rare individual cases of people who got a shovel-ready job, or got their medical bills paid for, while ignoring the huge expense, inefficiency, and probable illegality of the programs responsible.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

I wonder if they'll tout Ă˜bamacare - that piece of legislation that promises to make ALL of us "shovel ready"...

Pete(Detroit) said...

The chapter on one of his little known kinks - Fast and Furryess...

bacon said...

Is this thing really going to be shown in theaters? People will have to purchase tickets to get it?? He can't even sell tickets to have dinner with him for a buck!

Emmentaler Limburger said...

...her heart ...and her heart ...and this guys heart ...and their hearts...

Classic! Instant classic! Great find!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Emmentaler- "Obamacare is healthcare and shovel ready jobs all rolled up! It's two - two- TWO mints in one!" (Please tell me I'm not the only one here old enough to remember Certs commercials...?)

@Pete(Detroit)- Or maybe it's National Lampoon's Animal-Whitehouse?

@bacon- Nah, this won't be going to theaters (although the Bin Laden film will). I just wanted to work in a popcorn joke.

@Emmentaler- I don't often post comedy works by someone else, but this was too good not to share. All credit goes to the clip's creators over at RaisingRed.com, which is a (gasp!) conservative Super Pac.

txGreg said...

@Stilton,

Why bother trying to find someone who got an alleged shovel-ready job? Just hand the script off to someone from SEIU... they'll happily shovel whatever "interview" this PoTUS wants. It's not like truth or honesty has been a requirement for this administration thusfar.

Jim Hlavac said...

Well, the thing then to do is for some enterprising Tea Party sort of person to do a movie "The Horrendous Truth: Your Democratic Party at Work." Let the best film win!

And hopefully not some RINO Republican flunky showing how wonderful they are, that will change nothing.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@txGreg- Yeah, I'm guessing that the "truth" is a little too inconvenient this time around, so the film might be more aptly titled "A Steaming Load."

@Jim Hlavac- I'd love to see that happen (in fact, it MUST happen once the final Obama vs Whoever contest starts). Maybe I'll start brushing up my filmmaking skills...

Colby said...

Stilton, Here's hoping you will land some gargantuan funding for your movie! In the meantime, everybody rent a copy of "American Carol." I love this movie.

Also, we all need to help Stilton with the casting. Who would you cast as Obama? I'm thinking OJ...

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Colby: Kame Kilpatrick already got the part - don't have to teach him how to be a corrupt politician bent on ruining that which he's been entrusted with. Already has the part nailed - but if he can't make it due to some trial or incarceration or other, you've pretty much got the entire Black Caucus to pick from.

Hey! Why employ a character actor when you can have the real thing? Still failing, there are many lesser sitting democrats who, with a bit of polish, could fill the part. Kiwi brown should do.

Mike Porter said...

A true documentary of the good things that this Marxist pig has done for America would basically consist of a blood curdling ten minute scream in the dark bracketed with opening and closing credits... still too long of a movie if you ask me. Perhaps an upside-down version of "murder on the orient express", where the victim is America and the perps are every progressive scumbag with the power to wield a knife in the cover of night. But then, we're not at all talking about the truth here, are we? It sure would be a better world if asshats such as this 'director' could just skip to the end and, unlike the likes of Joseph Goebbels, commit suicide first. I mean, have you ever heard of a suicidal maniac?

Stan da Man said...

Frequently, Mike, unfortunately. And they tend to be Muslim Terrorists.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby- I'm very familiar with "An American Carol," and wish that there would be more movies like it. For those not in the know, it's from one of the creators of "Airplane!" and the "Naked Gun" series, and is a wild comedy in which a Michael Moore anti-American documentary maker is visited by the spirits of 3 patriots who try to teach him to love our country.

@Emmentaler- We'll have to do a major casting call. It's sometimes referred to in the industry as a "cattle call," but in this case it would be racist.

@Mike Porter- The director of this film also did a documentary called "Waiting for Superman" which was almost pretty good. It's about the dismal state of our school systems, and the liberal filmmaker was obviously shocked by how much of the problem can be laid at the door of the teacher's unions. The film is quite damning, but still stops short of what it should have been because the filmmaker couldn't quite allow the full truth on the screen. But there's still enough to sicken and enrage anyone who either pays taxes or has a heart.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Stan da Man- Sad, but true.

pryorguy said...

Makes no difference whether he has had an actual 'success' to brag about or not...they will fabricate whatever it takes to acheive their goals(like they actually NEED a piece of propoganda such as this!). I mean, over half of the voters in this country are going to vote for obama! Sickening! But that is where we are!

What floors me is how NO ONE is calling him on his over-reaching pertaining to the Constitution! I have been studying up on past constitutional conflicts, and was surprised at the number of litigation undertaken when a president took off down his own road. This dude just gets a pass and an 'aw shucks, he did it again!'

I sincerely hope I am surprised outa my shorts come election night!

Coon Tasty said...

Hating this new format, SJ. - It plays havoc with my iPhone.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Pryorguy- This issue really frustrates me, too. I know we've already got an election scheduled for November, but that's no reason to accept the president's anti-Constitutional actions. Quite the reverse, in fact: while campaigning for reelection, Obama should also be fighting court challenges that he has repeatedly violated his oath of office.

@Coon Tasty- I hate the new comment format too. I haven't checked in awhile to see if Google/Blogger has made any fixes which would allow me to go back to the old system, so I'll do that today. But I'm not holding my breath.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Coon Tasty- Sorry, I just checked and Blogger hasn't fixed any of the problems which disabled the old comments section. So currently, my choices are to stick with the way things are (which I don't like), or try changing the layout of the entire site (which I like even less, because it might not help, might screw everything up, and would take a lot of work). Mind you, I may try option 2 at some point... but not until I've had waaaaaay more coffee.

Colby said...

I just clicked on the link to the WaPo article, and read the part about this "movie" concentrating on Obama's first three years. Crap, before, I assumed it was a campaign video, but now I realize it's a travel documentary about Hawaii, Spain, Vail, Martha's Vineyard...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby- Funny! Especially because it's so true!