This week, Barack Obama, after tortured months of soul-searching and with great heaviness of heart, decided very, very, very, very reluctantly to allow liberal millionaires and billionaires to pay for campaign ads to destroy the character of anyone who opposes him in the November elections.
Basically, campaign laws forbid insanely huge contributions from an individual to a candidate's campaign because of the possibility it could be seen as an attempt to buy influence or change the course of elections...subverting the will of the noble, threadbare, peasant-class voters on election day.
But a Super PAC (political action committee) sidesteps this by raising money to spend which just happens to benefit their chosen candidate, without the candidate's control or input (wink-wink, nudge-nudge). And such groups of evil, scheming, capitalist, influence-buying bastards are considered a "threat to our democracy" by such Constitutional experts as...well...as Barack Obama. At least before he decided to embrace Super PAC contributors with open arms.
In fact, in attacking Super PACs in 2007, he said "You can’t say yesterday you don’t believe in them and today, you are having three-quarters of a million dollars being spent for you. You can’t just talk the talk. The easiest thing in the world is to talk about change during election time. Everybody talks about change during election time. You have got to look at how they will act when it’s not convenient, when it’s hard. And the one thing I’m proud of is my track record is strong on this and I’ve walked the walk."
Only it turns out that he hasn't "walked the walk." He "talked the talk" and then grabbed the cash and ran like a crack-addicted bank robber.
Presidential spokesliar and campaign strategist David Axelrod was quick to defend the president's decision to throw out his alleged principles, pointing out that evil Republicans had already enlisted their own evil Rich Guys for Super PACs, and so it was necessary for Barack Obama to reluctantly say "screw the $3 donations from the rabble and the dinner raffles" because he's only managed to cobble together $139,000,000 in campaign funds so far.
And he's going to need a lot more than that to make people forget about his record by November.
Soros's Man! Able to leap tall campaign finance rules in a single bound!
SPECIAL NOTE TO READERS: Just for the fun and mischief of it, I'm planning a little something special for the president on Valentine's Day and I'm going to need your help. I'll give you all the details right here on Monday! -Stilt