Monday, March 5, 2012

The Gandhi Man Can



Never one to be shy about proclaiming his own inflated sense of wonderfulness, Barack "Two Autobiographies" Obama recently compared himself to Mahatma Gandhi at yet another high dollar fundraising event.

Specifically, he invoked the names of Gandhi and Nelson Mandela to say that he was like them in the sense that they both took a long, long time to finally accomplish their goals...and that the president is therefore following in their historic footprints by
not having gotten much of anything accomplished yet either. It's the sort of spinning which would make even a Whirling Dervish reach for the Dramamine.

Still,
Hope n' Change is willing to accept the comparison of Mr. Obama to Gandhi because, unlike the president's young speechwriters who are only familiar with the history they've seen in movies, we know a little more about the leathery little man's rather quirky peccadilloes.

For instance, he really did drink his own urine every day, believing it to be healthy if not exactly minty fresh. For recreation, he frequently beat the living hell out of his wife - believing that non-violence was a great policy to preach to the world, but of very little use in personal relationships.

While not unwilling to have extramarital sex (in fact, almost
only extramarital sex) with his groupies of all ages, Gandhi occasionally felt the need to prove his ability to overcome carnal urges by sleeping with naked young girls in his bed and trying to resist them. A practice which the "Never Say No To Sex" Democrats would surely find abhorrent.

But Gandhi was, above all, a rebel. For instance, he completely disregarded the old saying
"with friends like these, who needs enemas?" Because the great man absolutely loved getting enemas and needed lots of them. And it was considered a huge honor when he chose one of his followers to insert the tube in his rectum.

Truthfully, we don't know how many of these practices Mr. Obama subscribes to. Although if he decides that he does need help with that enema, we'd be willing to do our patriotic duty and give the tube a little shove.

Wait, did we say
tube? We meant the Keystone XL pipeline.
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24 comments:

Coon Tasty said...

"For recreation, he frequently beat the living hell out of his wife - believing that non-violence was a great policy to preach to the world, but of very little use in personal relationships."

I feel that way about union officials, Democrats and Harley owners.

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

I have little doubt that Turdboy believes in the myth of Obama and would barely recognize the reality. It is the warm air of lies and media fantasy that keeps him aloft while the gravity of truth seeks to pull him down. As I well know, gravity always wins in the end. It's just a question of time.
I will worry about how history treats Obama after we rid ourselves of him.

Stan da Man said...

Good GOD man, this tea tastes like PISS!
- Yes, it is supposed to. It's good for you...

Young girls in the bed prob not an issue for the Bamster, unless they were SO young as to look like boys (and assuming he LIKES "boys" as opposed to "young men")
Paging Reggie!

DavidD said...

How about that Mandela and Gandhi were both outsiders to the system they worked to change--and spent time in prison for it?

How exactly is our President like them again?

Pete(Detroit) said...

That, and it took them a long time as they were trying to effect great fundamental changes to the system. As opposed to this bumbling incompetent boob who's merely out to smash everything.

Colby said...

He was a super-calloused, fragile mystic with extra halitosis.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Coon Tasty: I'm a Harley owner. Multiple Harleys, actually. And I beat no one. Nor do, to my knowledge, any of The American Legion Riders I ride with, whom, for the most part, are also Harley owners. Probably true for most of the Harley owners in the Patriot Guard, which was spun off of the American Legion Riders, too. That you would class us with democrats is particularly insulting. Yeah: I'm pretty sure that's a stereotype you can drop from your portfolio...

What is it with you folks lately? First my bus-sized SUV, then my Harleys? What facet of my existence will be attacked next?! I am just kidding, by the way. Unlike Øbama, I firmly disbelieve that anything is about me...

@Stilt: One way in which Ghandi and Mandella are similar is that you rarely, if ever, hear about them in the news anymore. I'm hoping that this similarity can soon be applied to Øbama...

Pete(Detroit) said...

Colby - "Two {obese Patty}s, Special Ross, Little Steve picking bunions on a Sesame Street bus." (even longer joke for even less payoff - but the only one I can think of to compete w/ 'fragile mystic'...

Mike Porter said...

And let us not forget that Gandhi was a racist and (gasp!) a lawyer too. Ok, so he wasn't a very good lawyer which, probably made him a better human being over all. Truly, the only resemblance I see here is to that of Hugo Chavez - the bloated ego and, hopefully, the attempted power grabs (as opposed to the successful ones).

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Coon Tasty- I hadn't remembered Gandhi speaking out on those groups. You learn something every day!

@Angry Hoosier Dad- At the moment, I'm less worried about how history will treat Obama, and more worried about making sure we'll have history.

@Stan da Man- Obama's preferences are his own business, though there's an interesting story today about his transgender prostitute nanny which might give some insights.

@DavidD- Perhaps (and hopefully) he's just doing things in a different order.

@Pete(Detroit)- Hey, smashing things is "change." He's kept at least half of his Hope and Change promise!

@Colby- I think he'll need a spoonful of sugar to swallow that.

@Emmentaler- Go ahead, tell us you have a pogo stick and we'll give you grief about that, too! (grin)

@Pete(Detroit)- It's like a dyslexic happy meal...

@Mike Porter- "A racist and a lawyer." That would look good on Mr. Obama's headstone many, many years from now after a long, healthy life. (Okay, I worry a little about the black helicopter guys...)

Colby said...

Let's see... My facts here may be a bit off, but Ghandi was fighting decades of the British keeping India in abject poverty and milking the caste system for their own purposes and enrichment. Mandela was fighting Apartheid and a centuries old system of what was basically slavery.

These issues pale in comparison to what our beloved President is up against. Obama is up against a far more serious and devastating enemy.... the Constitution of the United States. He might need three or four terms to really kill it for good, so let's quit belly-aching and get behind him. His enema awaits...

Coon Tasty said...

@Emmentaler - You misunderstood me.

@Colby - Mandela was a leader of a terrorist organisation, whose goal was to take over a country that did not historically belong to his people. Whites had been living in Southern Africa for hundreds of years longer than had any of the Black tribes.

JustaJeepGuy said...

@Emmentaler,
I also ride a Harley. Given my druthers, I'd ride the Triumph I used to have (insert sob story here) but I can't have my druthers, so I ride what I have.

@Coon Tasty,
I'm with ya on the others!

Colby said...

Coon Tasty,
Well, I knew I was a little hazy on my Mandela and Ghandi facts, but you must admit, I got the third one right!

Jeep Guy,
I saw a fully restored Bonneville for sale the other day and lusted after it terribly, but toys are no longer an option; need to buy stupid stuff like food and electricity.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

My 1st was a 1970 Norton 750 Commando. Sigh. Those were the days...

@Stilton: As a matter of fact, I DO have a pogo stick. Don't we all?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby- C'mon, Obama is fighting the Constitution, Capitalism, basic Math, Christianity, and stinking White people. No wonder it's taking him a long time to make a real difference!

@Coon Tasty- There you go again, trying to confuse the issues by introducing actual facts. (grin)

@JustaJeepGuy- Somehow I sense that my confession that I once had a small moped isn't really going to up my masculine credibility in this particular line of conversation.

@Colby- Hey, toys are necessities!

@Emmentaler- Well...it had better be a solar pogo stick. (And seriously, I'd bet it would take me less than 10 seconds to get a broken bone on a pogo stick these days. My many hours at the computer have not exactly contributed to having a triathalon physique...)

Coon Tasty said...

@SJ - "There you go again"

Do I sound like Jimmah Cahtah to you?!

xD

Pete(Detroit) said...

Stilt, Mo-Peds (do they even still make them?) will ONLY ever be cool to those of us who rode them.
And NEVER "manly"

Had one in high school, I used to visit the GF who lived some 8 mi away - I still remember that if I hit a particular raised manhole just right, I could 'get air'... *I* had fun...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Coon Tasty- You never sound like Jimmy Carter!

@Pete(Detroit)- I only puttered around the neighborhood on my moped, but it was great fun. And it probably got 100 miles per gallon or more.

An Observation said...

Not many people realize Ghandi was Islamic. It kind of puts his advice to the Jews to go quietly into the gas chambers into a different light when you know that doesn't it?

Colby said...

How did we get to mopeds? Never mind...
I don't know if other states are this way, but in NC, you can still drive a moped or scooter when you get caught driving drunk and they take your license. There are mopeds freaking EVERYWHERE! Top speed = 35 downhill. WE call 'em liquor cycles.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@An Observation: That's a new one on me. I'd read that he was Hindu, but was assassinated for being thought to be sympathetic to the muslims. But nothing really surprises anymore. Curious what the basis for your observation is, though.

Ashutosh Jha said...

@Colby..Thanks for some facts.
@Coon Tasty. Yeah and actually the whites swam across Antarctica and reached the tip of South Africa.


People.. When Stiglitz and Krugman say that Mitt Romney's maths doesn't add up, better believe it(At least they can do math!). Obama is better candidate for sure.

What republicans have achieved is war and some very dead American soliders and a fallen capitalist economy.Mitt Romney's campaign is heavily invested in by wall street money. And Goldman Sachs and likes shall make sure they get repaid.

I am from India. :)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Ashutosh Jha- Glad to get your comments! However, I'll have to take exception to the idea that Paul Krugman is fit to judge Mitt Romney's arithmetic. Barack Obama's number demonstrably don't add up, as the nonpartisan CBO points out again and again. Meanwhile, the big banks have enjoyed nothing but largesse from Barack Obama.

Finally, I think capitalism is still healthy - but living on borrowed money is a failure which is crippling capitalism. And I hope Romney/Ryan can reverse that trend.