Friday, July 27, 2012

You Say It's Your Birthday

For the eighth time in recent days, Barack Obama has written to supporters to remind them that the most serious issue facing America is his upcoming birthday. And what makes this cake and balloon-filled celebration so serious?

"My upcoming birthday next week could be the last one I celebrate as President of the United States."

Also, he might not get a pony for his birthday because Ann Romney owns them all. That's a fact, and you can look it up on the Internet if you doubt us.

But despite being faced with the nightmarish prospect of celebrating future birthdays like every other human being on Earth, Barack Barry Hussein Soetoro Obama is making the best of a bad situation and selling $3 lottery tickets to let some lucky peon attend a birthday party "with me and some friends at my house in Chicago." Specifically, in the backyard.

But just imagine the great time you could have and the "friends" you could meet at that cookout!

Hey, there's Bill Ayers pouring something very, very, very flammable on the grill, and Bernadine Dohrn assembling a detonator! Care for a cold beer? Ask Professor Henry Gates to limp over and grab one for you! Want to make small talk with Barry's Pee Wee Hermanish neighbor Louis Farrakhan? Just ask him about "Jews" and he'll go on longer than the Energizer bunny!

Chicago mayor Rahm Emmanuel will be there, snarfing burgers because he's boycotting chicken. And because Tony Rezko helped pay for the property you're partying on, he'll be bringing a big birthday cake...assuming it's first delivered to him in prison and has a hacksaw inside.

All in all, it's a lot of entertainment that some lucky lottery winner will get for just $3.

Unless, of course, Eric Holder stops them at the door for not presenting a photo ID.

Would you prefer your burger rare, like his kept promises,
or well-done, like nothing Barry has ever accomplished?



Pete(Detroit) said...

Hey, if you gook the burger w/o flipping it, it can be rare on one side, well done on the other! Best of both worlds!

Velcro said...

The "many happy returns" will be on the night of November 6, 2012.

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

@ Velcro:
Mega-dittos and amen to that.

FlyBoy said...

"In lieu of gifts, a generous donation to my re-election campaign would be much appreciated." Barry

Irene Peduto said...

He continues to "play" the "regular guy". His likeability is what got him into the White House (along with decades of planning by the likes of Soros, etc.), & he's continuing to try to capitalize on that one factor. Hopefully, those much sought after Independents, will see what his so-called likeability has gotten for the USA.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Stilton: EXCELLENT caption on the bottom picture. Loved it!

George said...

And remember, guests will only be allowed to use PLASTIC forks, spoons and knives to consume the food.

elcedar said...

Gimme all your money ... all your gifts and stock funds too
Gimme all your money ... Bundle, and take it from the unions too.
Sorry, it's not Al Green, or the Beatles.
The Cheeseball in Chief has absolutely no shame. I'm surprised he isn't hanging out in the Baptist Churches ... speechifying for dollars, with his best Southern Baptist preacher voice impression, stirring up the masses and taking up collections. I wonder how much you have to Tithe to participate in the Church of Barack Obama of Latter Day Money Changers?

Anonymous said...

"And because Mark Rezko ..."

I think you mean Tony Rezko.

CenTexTim said...

My birthday wish for obama is to see the logo on that apron changed to an image of Ronald McDonald.

On second thought, that would be an insult to clowns everywhere.

Maybe the Hamburglar...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous- D'oh!!! You're right, of course, and I've changed the commentary from "Mark Rezko" to "Tony Rezko." It's been a long week...

Goldenrod said...

Pretty sure Malia & Sasha have already given up their piggy banks, whether they wanted to or not.

John the Econ said...

I don't know, this one is pretty hard to beat for outright crassness:

Obama wedding registry fund-raising strategy not a hit with brides

Read more:

Seriously, I had to think that this was April 1st when I first saw it.

"President Obama's bizarre marriage-theme fund-raising scheme--where he asks couples to request campaign donations from their guests in lieu of wedding gifts--has been a total flop," the New York Post reports:

The desperate initiative, dubbed "the Event Registry," is being mocked by event planners and couples--and shows how desperate the Obama campaign is to keep up with GOP contender Mitt Romney's fund-raising. . . .

The Obama campaign didn't return requests for comment.

But wedding industry pros called the ploy tasteless and divisive. . . . Brides-to-be commenting on her site's message board called the initiative "gross!" and "tacky"--with one writing, "Hell no!"

"Politics and my personal celebrations should not be mixed," another bride wrote.

If Obama were clever, he'd have used the taxing power.

PRY said...

I know all of us are downright sick and disgusted with the potus' lies of desperation; sad thing is so many voters will go with him. Just shows how low our culture has already slid down the chute!

John the Econ said...

...still catching breath after witnessing the commercial for socialized health care presented during the opening ceremony of the Olympics and interpreted for us all by Matt Lauer. The ceremony depicted Britain's proudest history, ending with a thousand kids in beds and a giant baby in the center.

"I don't know if it's cute or creepy"

Agreed. Socialism ultimately reduces citizens to giant babies.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Goldenrod- They don't need piggy banks. They're currently living better lives than the "1%" and will probably never need to worry about money again for the rest of their lives. Which isn't, when you think about it, "fair."

@John the Econ- I think the Bamster badly miscalculated the bridal registry (and I love it). It might have been a wake-up call to a lot of young brides who were thinking about their special day, and were surprised that Obama wanted to horn in on it.

@Pry- I know that the movie "Idiocracy" gets referenced about once a week here (your comment about cultural decline brought it to mind) but I still think it's as accurate a warning as "Atlas Shrugged."

@John the Econ- I didn't watch the opening ceremonies, in part because I was already aware of the political slant that director Danny Boyle (who is hugely talented) was bringing to it. Labor strikes, marches, and children jumping on hospital beds to celebrate the National Health Service? No thanks.

John the Econ said...

Oh, I don't know @Stilton. You should have watched as there is much to learn from witnessing first-hand the detritus of the liberal dystopian mind.

Another way to look at Danny Boyle's display was as a document of western decline. It starts out with Britain's emergence from an agrarian culture to an industrial powerhouse and the country that ruled most of the world. Then it well documents their slide into self-indulgence, pop-culture worship, and ultimately infantilism; thousands of children jumping on beds surrounding a giant-creepy looking infant in a giant bed.

I thought it was a great metaphor for where socialism has taken Britain, whether Danny Boyle realizes it or not.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- After seeing that picture of the giant baby and reading your review of the overall sweep and themes of the show, I almost wonder if Boyle was actually documenting England's decline rather than celebrating these questionable "moments of greatness." But one way or another, it was a giant pageant dedicated to being crazy.

Anonymous said...

The raffle is not leagal for a ks resident....sorry no three dollars from....NOT

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous- To sidestep gambling laws, the Obama website says that it's not necessary to make an (ahem) "donation" in order to enter. But I sure as heck couldn't find anything that let you know how to enter for free (hey, I wanted to be there! It could be fun!)

John the Econ said...

Sitting here watching the Olympics when all of a sudden there's an Obama commercial; all of the wonderful things that he'll do if elected President. Then it hit me; do all those Americans in London who've been working for this moment for years realize that they didn't really earn those medals? Don't they not realize that it all was just luck? Is the only difference between them competing with the world's greatest and me sitting on my couch watching them on TV was happenstance and perhaps a government program here or there?

No, I think they know better. I'm now watching this charming little black gymnast. She didn't get on that team just because she was black. She's not going to get awards for what she might achieve. She earned her place there, and if she wins the gold, she will have earned that.

It's sad that our President will never understand that feeling.

Christopher Darryl Ross said...

Obama saying that it could be his last birthday as president may be the only good thing he's ever said since his election campaign. Possibly even before, or ever?