Having already visited every television show which caters to those with fewer IQ points than the president's approval rating (currently 50), Barack Obama has declared a break from avoiding world leaders and journalists so that he can practice his debating skills prior to his first head-to-head clash with Mitt Romney on October 3rd.
Initial reports incidate that John "Swiftboat" Kerry will play the role of Romney in the trial runs, so that Obama can sharpen up his attacks on tall, rich, white men. Other rhetorial weapons in the Master Debater's handbook (so to speak) will be phrases like "Bush did it," "I inherited," "GOP resistance," "Created or saved," and "...took longer than I thought." In other words, he's going to lie like a prayer rug.
Meanwhile, Mitt Romney is preparing for the debate too - declaring that his strategy will be to "fact check" the president live and on-air and point it out when Mr. Obama says "things that aren't accurate." Hope n' Change is really, really hoping that this will involve the use of a compressed-air boat horn and a marching bass drum with Obama's face on one side and the word LIAR on the other.
But why should Mitt have all the fun of catching Barry in awkward moments and demonstrable untruths? No, every Hope n' Change reader should be just as ready and well-armed, which is why we're giving all of you a free copy of our ebook, "Obama Sutra - An Illustrated Guide to 57 States of Ecstasy!"
Not only will you find the president engaged in 57 back-straining "passion positions" with names like "Leading from Behind," "Stimulus Package," "Green Job," "Fast and Furious," and "If You Like It, You Can Keep It," you'll also read the actual facts behind the 57 scandals, screw-ups, and betrayals which inspired the book. Enough material to bury any liberal's arguments while laughing your keester off!
"Obama Sutra" is not x-rated, but it's a pretty strong PG-13 or so (you can see samples here). The ebook is formatted for the Amazon kindle, but can be read on virtually ANY computer, smartphone, or tablet as long as you grab one of these FREE kindle reading apps first.
The ebook is free Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday (and make sure the price DOES say free on Amazon before downloading). Note that the paperback version isn't free, but may be the most beautiful souvenir you could ever want of Obama's first and hopefully only term.
So grab the ebook, and start your debate preparation so you'll be ready to smack down any liberals who dare lift their strident, whiney voices in your presence. And please - SPREAD THE WORD to your friends who need a fun, factual, and briefly FREE introduction to the Bamster's many failings!
Yes, it's a real book. Yes, it's free.
Yes, you should get it right now and then tell everyone you know on Facebook.