Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Tyrannosaurus Tax

obama ,obama jokes, obamadon, dinosaur, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg

Yale, the world's number one creator of snobs and padlocks, has just announced that they've named a newly discovered species of dinosaur "Obamadon Gracilis" to honor the president and exponentially increase their likelihood of getting another buttload of grant money.

The name, when translated from Latin, combines words which mean "Obama's teeth" and "slender," because the dinosaur was thin and toothy and presumably had a "great smile." It was probably also a gifted liar and a sneaky little egg sucker, both of which qualities probably sound a lot better when translated into Latin (as is the case when they're printed on diplomas from Yale's law school).

The dinosaur died out about 65 million years ago after an asteroid struck the Earth. Coincidentally, a 3-mile wide asteroid is even at this moment rocketing towards the Earth. Tragically, it is expected to whoosh by within the next 24 hours without affecting our current infestation of Obamadon Gracilis.

Unless, of course, the Mayans really did know what they were talking about...


The danger of Jurassic Perks. 

Readers: Sorry about the late post this morning. Just a little technical snafu behind the scenes.

31 comments:

Pete D said...

Always worth waiting for!

John the Econ said...

Naming a dinosaur after our "slender" president?

If this came out of anywhere but academia, wouldn't the usual haters be screaming "racism"?

Meanwhile, we have a stunning union defeat in Michigan, which will now be a "right to work" state. Unionists continue to argue that it's not fair that non-dues-paying members will get to benefit from the collective bargaining efforts of a union; Kinda like how non-income-tax-paying citizens get to benefit from the efforts of income-tax-paying citizens. Really not fair at all.

Remember when Nancy Pelosi admonished us that we'd have to pass ObamaCare so we could find out what's in it? Well, 3 years later the surprises are still coming forward, like the $63 fee per worker for covering those with pre-existing conditions. Ultimately, this fee will be passed on to workers and consumers. Most of the money will go into a fund administered by the Health and Human Services Department, where I am sure it will be well-managed; like helping to pay for Sandra Fluke's birth control, no doubt.

I wish I was as talented as Stilton, as I have a new idea for a comic: "Fiscal Cliff". Our protagonist spends his days weaving the economic insanity that is now "common sense" in Washington, the New York Times and academia.

Jim Hlavac said...

Hagiography before a man is dead is unseemly. This making of Obama as some brilliant savior, lord, (I've heard those two lately,) and someone to be incessantly lauded is just scary. This love of a politician is very bad for the national pysche, and no good will come of it. Now, why do I get the feeling there will be some attempt to rid the constitution of the term limits on presidents, so we can have Obama over and over again (I've already heard friends say this.)

This all reminds me of the warnings giving by so many of the love for certain dictators in Europe in the 1930s, or, further back, to kingly worship.

Though, why they do this with this failure of a president is also unknowable. They are that blind, I guess. Maybe the dust from digging for the bones got in the eyes of the Yale Idiotus Supremus. (really bad Latin for Supreme Idiot.

Chuck said...

@Jim - I'm afraid that your fears may be valid. The homage being paid to Øbama is scary, and far surpasses the homage (in the media, at least) being paid to the real Savior and Lord.

As to the Øbamadon, here are some little known facts: it was followed around closley by the Tingleasaur and his friens who all believed that the Øbamadon's poop didn't stink and was actually a cure for extinction when eaten in large quantities.

Chuck said...

That"s "friends" not "friens" above.

In other news, how is THIS not scary!?!

CenTexTim said...

Maybe Chuck's Tingleasaur could be the sidekick of John the Econ's "Fiscal Cliff". Now all we need is a talented writer/illustrator to produce the strip...

And Chuck, you're right. Sending those F-16s to Egypt should scare the bejesus out of any thinking person. Also, notice the symbolism of the scheduled delivery date. Talk about sending a message...

"The first four jets will arrive in Egypt the day after Barack Obama’s Jan. 21 swearing-in for a second term as US president at the Capitol – and not by chance. That date also coincides with Israel’s Jan. 22 general election."

Colby said...

Obamadon Gracilis? Was "Crapweaselasaur" already taken?

Michigan absolutely did the right thing, and I have nothing but admiration for the law makers that had the gonads to do this. But, I think they have closed the barn door about 50 years after the horse got out. Here's praying they will be able to lure some business back that the unions spent decades driving away.

@Stilton,
Never, ever apologize for posting, no matter how late or early.

@Chuck,
Damn! Today's coffee spew award goes to you! I'm sure the Obamadon was constantly surrounded by Tinglesaurs and Asskissosaurs. The Obamadon also spent most of it's time in tropical paradises while the other creatures ran off cliffs back in the frozen wasteland.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Pete D- Satisfaction guaranteed or double your money back.

@John the Econ- It seems like it should be racist to name an extinct, bug-eating lizard after Obama, but I suppose it's okay as long as it's being done by liberals. Sort of like when Bill Maher refers to Barry as a N*gger.

The situation in Michigan is interesting, and I'm plenty pissed at Bill Maher's pal for rabble-rousing and saying the legislation ends collective bargaining (a flat out lie, and he knows it). I really like your "fairness" comparison to taxpayers, too.

And I'm sure the $63 fee for Obamacare is only the first of endless surprises and disappointments.

@Jim Hlavac- Perhaps Obama can run for a third term using another name (like Barry Soetoro) or under a different social security number.

Like you, I have no idea why Libs think this idiot hung the moon.

@Chuck- Love the Tingleasaur!

@CenTexTim- It is chilling to think about what messages Barry is sending with the delivery of those F-16s. And where is the MSM on this? (Rhetorical question, I know).

queso Grande, now with nuts! said...

@JimHlavac, I think that the leftist love for Uhhhhhbama is a complex blend of white guilt, the oratorical skills equal to-the voice not the content he has that written for him-that German pol you refer to and the constant bombardment via media of the Wan as some sort of deity. I sadly think there is more than a skosh of-well to use Spike Lee's phrase- 'jungle fever' involved.
Not too threatening, not too dark...
I had a woman I work with; fairly conservative in nature, about 60 or so, gush over how he WALKED DOWN THE steps of AF1 w/out using the rails, and how when he walked, he moved so.....bleh. I stopped listening after that......
It is groupthink hysteria writ large.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Queso Grande- I think your assessment of Obama's popularity is pretty accurate, although we mustn't leave out the fact that he preaches the rhetoric of anger and envy, and there are few things that people like more than being able to feel good about hating others. It gives them a rush of self-righteousness that they neither deserve or have any honest way of earning.

queso Grande, now with nuts! said...

Too true.......I await the 9 minute hate......now longer due to inflation......

@John the Econ, I had the office talking about nothing but the $63.00 per family member increase......these paycheck to paycheck types were really peeved about that one.....and I shot them jussssst what you quoted from Pelosi.

Sometimes I like my job!!

John the Econ said...

@queso Grande, if they are upset about that one, just wait until they start to discover the other not-so-little surprises the Obama economic agenda has in store for them. Sooner or later, the "middle class" is going to get a squeeze that will make people remember the Carter years fondly; Higher taxes eating at their paychecks, and the dollars that they actually get to take home buying much less than they used to.

But hey, at least Sandra Fluke gets birth control for free!

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Sigh...

Ciccio said...

Please, not dinosaur. Lizard. They have named a dead lizard after Obama, I can live with it. They discover a new species of dinosaur last year, when the were talking about Brontomerus, which translates as "Thunder Thighs" I thought at first they were talking about Michelle.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Queso Grande- Sometimes it's sweet to be the bearer of bad tidings.

@John the Econ- I've got to admit that I'm currently in the mood to see a lot of people suffer (assuming they voted for Obama, or failed to vote against him). A heapin' helpin' of "comeuppance" is overdue.

@Ciccio- The paleontologists are calling the critter a dinosaur because of the period it lived in, but you're right that it was just a small, annoying lizard which survived by eating bugs. Which is pretty easy to imagine Barry doing, too.

Anonymous said...

@Ciccio- Brontomerus, which translates as "Thunder Thighs" I thought at first they were talking about Michelle.

Thunder Thighs - surely that is Hillary C?

Grafton Cheddar said...

Mooch is actually the Schtrongosaur. Pantsuit is known as Hipparkass, usually seen flouncing her posterior in a Mideast photo op.

Chuck said...

@Emmentaler Limburger - nice to see you post, and your comment was both succinct and spot-on in summing up the way I feel!

John the Econ said...

Just saw one estimate that the tax repercussion of the "fiscal cliff" will cost a family of 4 roughly $3,000 in higher taxes.

Considering that the Federal debt for that same family is now well over $200,000, I'd say that $3,000 isn't nearly enough; it doesn't even cover the interest!

We're spending trillions more than we're taking in. Although $3,000-per-family will contribute far more than "soaking the rick" will, it still won't make a dent folks. And the President's answer to this is that he wants to spend even more???

Pete D said...

Grafton Cheddar -
"See, Achmed? She really DOES have the ass of a donkey"
"Yes, Abdul, Truly an Ass's Ass"

Mike Porter said...

Stilton: There is something truly menacing in that trade mark grin - and I'm reminded of Benito Mussolini every time that I see it. It portends to ingratiate the wearer with the crowd - and quite frankly gives me creeps. More so in the fact that the rubes are apparently unable to recognize the treasonous crocodile behind it.

Jim Hlavac: Curious indeed, as it was always a great mystery to me how anyone could have found such a repugnant little bag of human waste such as was Hitler to be 'charismatic'. And the bar just keeps getting lower...

Chuck/Colby: And don't forget the victims in all of this prehistoric madness - the tax paying megasaurass.

And as to the sea change in the perception of public sector unions, it is somewhat gratifying to see panicky union bosses flailing about as their membership, and so their power, begins to slip through their fingers. And though I would like to see them all burned at the stake, I will grudgingly settle for utter ruination in their economic standing.

John the Econ said...

Oh, and Neo-Keynesian Fed Chairman genius Bernanke announced that they're going to keep rates at near zero at least as long as unemployment remains above 6.5 percent and if the Fed projects inflation of no more than 2.5 percent one or two years in the future.

Memo to the Fed: "Above 6.5 percent" is "normal" for socialist democracies, which we have now become. And I still don't get where this 2.5 percent inflation crap comes from. Must be because Fed types have all their money in real estate. Everything I need just to live has been going up several times that! My health care has been going up 14% annually for the last decade. Energy & food have been going up over 7%. I'm starting to get letters from suppliers announcing price increases of 5 to 10% on nearly everything next year.

"Workforce participation" is the lowest since the '70s. Real uneployment is over 16%. Why is it that as "unemployment" goes down, fewer of us are actually working?

Until Congress eliminates "managing unemployment" from the Federal Reserve mandate, we are doomed.

Anonymous said...

Stilton & all. As long as we're toying with "bad" Latin, we should try to remember this: "Illegitimati non carborundum" or "Don't let the bastards grind you down."

It's No Gouda said...

Ooops, that last "anonymous" post was me. Fingers faster than brain or something.

Irene Peduto said...

@SJ - we are grateful for your posts - anytime, any day.
In keeping with most every post, my fascination with the peoples' love for Obama which confounds me as well. The major reason he is President is because he is still being perceived as the ONE! Despite all of the reality, despite the crushing debt, despite the downgrading of America, the real number of the unemployed, the highest amount of people ever on food stamps - it is truly mind-boggling.
@ Queso Grande As opposed to being impressed with the way he runs down the stairs of an AF1, I think he looks rather wimpish - so unlike Presidents before him who were far more manly looking like: Reagan, Bush, etc. His arms at his sides, his trotting down the stairs, even his salute to the military member strikes me as artificial.
@ John the Econ - racism is only for Republicans.
@Jim Hlavac - hagiography? Thanks for sharing! But ditto to the confusion over the lefts adoration of Obama.
@ Chuck - Honestly, I started to write then erase - repeatedly - because the level of fear this President & his Administration has caused has no ceiling. Those jets - OMG!

Sarah Rolph said...

I saw some video footage of Pol Pot on TV not long ago. He had a great big grin just like Obama's. It kind of freaked me out.

Colby said...

@Mike Porter,
"Megasaurass..." I dang near choked on my daily gruel!

ALL,
Mussolini, Pol Pot... fine company to be in, right? That toothy grin gives me the creeps, and it still puzzles the crap out of me when the "press" tells us how attractive and likable this guy is. I can barely stand to see him or hear him talk because it gives me the willies. It's like that feeling you get when the doctor puts on that latex glove and tells you to bend over the table and relax. Or maybe like the emotion that surges through your brain when you first hear that awful grinding/screeching/thumping noise coming from under your car hood.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Crazy day today (Thursday), which will be reflected in a somewhat skimpy offering tomorrow...and the fact that I can't address your various, wonderful comments at the moment. But I'm reading and enjoying them!

Irene Peduto said...

SJ - always the gentleman!

SC said...

"comeuppance" No matter what happens with Obamacare, the costs, taxes, etc. somehow it will be W’s fault.

Congrats to Michigan on right to work.

Libs can’t fathom that a worker has a ‘choice’ to be in a union or not, yet, they demand ‘choice’ for a female to abort her baby?

Velcro said...

skimpy, eh? Hmmmm should be interesting SJ! Maybe something out of Obama Sutra?