Monday, March 11, 2013

There Hugo Again

obama, obama jokes, chavez, lie in state, stilton jarlsberg, hope and change, hope n' change, conservative

Although death is always a sensitive subject to discuss, Hugo Chavez reminds us that even if you take really good care of yourself, it's possible to be cruelly struck down in the prime of your dictatorship - leaving nothing behind but tears, memories, and - oh yeah! - your waxy corpse laid out on display like a buffet at the Golden Corral.

So popular has the display of Chavez's body been in Venezuela over the past few days that the decision has been made to make him a permanent museum exhibit, much like the preserved bodies of Vladimir Lenin, Mao Zedong, and - if rumor is to be believed - John Dillinger's humongoid ladypleaser.

All of which got Hope n' Change thinking about the importance of preplanning for the inevitable, and hoping that somewhere on a shelf in Washington, plans exist for the public display of our own president in case the absolutely unthinkable happens, much as it did last election day. And seriously, what could represent a legacy of "transparency" more than a glass coffin? The very thought brings a tear to our eye.

Of course, we hope that this doesn't happen for many, many, many years - or possibly ever. After all, there's ample evidence that Barack Obama may be immortal.

It would certainly explain why he thinks he'll have tens of thousands of years to pay back the money he's borrowing today.

obama, obama jokes, chavez, lie in state, stilton jarlsberg, hope and change, hope n' change, conservative, golf, miniature golf, coffin
Bonus! Free Obamaphone with a hole in one!

25 comments:

DavidD said...

Wherever did you find a picture that combined a coffin and *golf*?

Pete(Detroit) said...

Love it Stilt, and kudos to the fair Mrs. J. as well!
Gold plated coffin, no less, surely there would be fun raisers for that, and not just subsidies to coffin companies?
Or is that a statement about 'death to bling'?
In any event, I eagerly await (and surely not alone) the day da Prez becomes 'shovel ready.' The lying little Crap Weasel.

Colby said...

Ome day in the distant future...
"Breaking News! Famous TV newsman, Chris Matthews caught masturbating at a local miniature gold course. Film at eleven."

It's No Gouda said...

Colby: Ack!! I'm going to need some "coffee" and "a Star Trek mind-meld"(sic)to erase that image!

CenTexTim said...

Well Done Mrs. Jarlsberg!

I'm surprised that the body will be permanently displayed in Venezuela rather than Hollywood. After all, Chavez was more popular there than in his own country.

Anonymous said...

I thought he was lying in 57 states...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@DavidD- I just Googled the terms "Obama" and "Dream Come True."

@Pete(Detroit)- Mrs J is, if anything, even better informed about current events than I am and has a great sense of humor.

Let me emphasize that today's cartoon and commentary aren't meant to imply that I want anything to happen to the president. I simply wanted to point out that if tragedy strikes, our nation should take a "glass half full" approach and smile bravely. And maybe laugh and high-five.

@Colby- Well, that would explain what he's doing at the ballwasher.

@It's No Gouda- Isn't that always the image you get when someone mentions Chris Matthews?

@CenTexTim- Speaking of Hollywood, I hear that Hugo Chavez is up for the starring role in the next "Weekend at Bernie's."

@Anonymous- I was tempted to go with the "57 states" line, but was afraid that people would think I was simply plugging my hilarious, underpriced book "Obama Sutra - An Illustrated Guide to 57 States of Ecstasy."

Shelly said...

I don't wish death for him but I would love to see him frog-marched out of the White House in an orange jumpsuit.

Pete D said...

Could happen, looks like Kwame Kilpatrick (former kleptocrat mayor of Detroit) will be wearing one for a while... (Woooot!!!!)
http://news.yahoo.com/jury-convicts-ex-detroit-mayor-corruption-144157257.html

Jim Hlavac said...

There is something about dictators and preserving the body, isn't there? They are against religion and they create a sainted relic, how weird.

Though, I have heard now that there is a contest in Hollywood over whether Sean Penn or some Jackson fellow should play the very dead Mr. Chavez in the hours long documentary epic: "The droning in Caracas." Ashley Judd is up for the dead Eva Peron part. In fact, the cast calls for dead dictators are full of the 1%er actors on behalf of the poor. Michael Moore is directing. In theaters, soon.

CenTexTim said...

"ballwasher" = 'coffee' spewed on monitor.

Although Colby nicely teed it up for you...

Colby said...

Good Lord! I just read my own post. Mental note... check your spelling, ya jackwagon! Ome day...? Gold course...? I'll balme it on having to gte up an huor early todaay.

@No Gouda,
To remove the image from your brain, try Vogon poetry.

Happy birthday Douglas Adams. May you rest in peace wherever it is agnostics go when they die.

@Stilton,
Please don't take this the wrong way, but we could have guessed Mrs. Jarlsberg has a remarkable sense of humor.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Shelly- I can enthusiastically endorse the whole frog-march / orange jumpsuit idea. Although it might just look like he was raiding Michelle's wardrobe. Again.

@Pete D- Justice may be blind, but in this case it wasn't Helen Keller blind.

@Jim Hlavac- There really is some sort of weird monomaniacal god complex involved with dictators who think that their mortal leftovers are worth worshipping.

@CenTexTim- I'm thinking of marketing a Hope n' Change keyboard towel for just such occasions.

@Colby- I didn't realize it was Douglas Adams birthday. He was a funny, funny guy.

And regarding Mrs. Jarlsberg, you're absolutely right (grin).

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Colby - good call! Good call. Vogon poetry clears the mind much in the same manner as their Constructor Fleets clear paths for intergalactic freeways..... But that's died-in-the-wool, hugely activist atheist. This facet of the man was made abundantly clear in The Salmon of Doubt. An interesting read - so much most of his fans never realized about him is revealed there.

@Stilt: I hope you're not hearing he chop-chop-chop of the black helicopters after that one. Silly me! Of course you're not! They're silenced like Airwolf and Blue Thunder... More likely a drone strike today, anyway.

Ah, good times, good times...

JustaJeepGuy said...

I have to say that I dislike the notion of Hugo Chavez and Golden Corral being juxtaposed like that. Golden Corral does the best Military Appreciation Day the first Monday after Veteran's Day. Chavez is nothing but a rotting corpse, the first time in his existence he's done anything useful.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Emmentaler Limburger- I liked Adams's discussion of religion as it related to the Babel Fish in the Hitchhiker's Guide. As I recall, some argued that the telepathic translating ear fish was so useful that it proved the existence of God, but that anything which PROVED the existence of God negated faith - thereby also negating God. Adams was great at fiddling with our minds that way.

As far as silenced helicopters go, the Blue Thunder team is puzzled by the fact that I'm wearing a helmet that says "JAFO" and is withholding fire.

@JustaJeepGuy- I certainly meant no disparagement to Golden Corral, who are indeed very supportive of our military, and do not put dictators in their buffets. On the other hand, I don't know what goes into IKEA's meatballs...

Sparky Hudson said...

Good one Mrs. Stilton! But are you sure he's not lieing in 57 States? :) All I know is, I'm in a state of readiness for this to happen. Soon.

Queso Grande said...

Oh dear Lord, no!!!!
Stilton, it is typical at mini-golf that upon making a hole in one at the final hole, YOU GET TO HAVE ANOTHER GO 'ROUND!!!!

(running away, arms a' flailing, screaming like a little girl, throwing cheap ass plastic head putter into nearest lake)

I often use the phrase....."well, it beats a sharp stick in the eye"

I'll take the stick.

Anonymous said...

I thought Obama was lying in 53 states!

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Honestly, though! We all truly wish The ├śne a long, long life - if only because we couldn't bear Uncle Joe as presidunce or the thought of Moochelle on the market for a nee mate...

Grizzly said...

I wouldn't think Golden Corral can offer that kind of entree, at least not every day. Perhaps you were thinking of the Jeffrey Dahmer Memorial Cafeteria, where pink slime is on the menu daily.

REM1875 said...

As long as hugo is still dead I don't care what they do with him but I would prefer they put a helium hose up his butt and display him like a goodrich blimp and rent space for signs on his sides -that way he will finally be useful.

REM1875 said...

Oh how I wish I was a 'friend to the poor ' I could live without the leftist acculades but the 2 BILLION dollar bonus that the media and leftist ignore would be kinda nice. hugo, raoul, and fedel deserve every penny of it I am sure. Who knew fighting for the little guys payed so well?
"let's no be stingy with someone else's money"

Colby said...

I only remember Douglas Adams' birthday because we are "almost but not quite, entirely unlike" the same age; within a few days anyway.

@Emmantaler,
Hold on a minute... If, God forbid, SloJoe ascended the throne unexpectedly, it may not be such a bad thing. He has proven over and over again his willingness to be led around by the ring in his nose by his keepers. And some of those keepers are not all that bright either. Apologies to the aforementioned Douglas Adams, perhaps Joe is mostly harmless.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Sparky Hudson- The exact number of states is debatable; the lying isn't.

@Queso Grande- Don't panic; the hole-in-one policy is only for the player, not the obstacle.

@Anonymous- It is confusing.

@Emmentaler Limburger- See, that's the kind of loyal support the president deserves!

@Grizzly- At the Jeffrey Dahmer Cafeteria, "all you can eat" refers to the other diners.

@REM1875- The other great thing about putting a helium hose up his butt is that his farts would sound like chipmonks.

And you're right that this "friend of the poor" made sure that he wasn't poor - at their expense.

@Colby- Describing Joe as "Mostly Harmless" is one of the most apt uses I've seen of Adams's phrase.