Monday, July 8, 2013

Jailhouse Rot

obama, obama jokes, michelle, laura bush, prison, whitehouse, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, tea party, vacation, stilton jarlsberg, pam grier, prison movies

By now we've all heard that Michelle Obama has compared her life in the Whitehouse to a life in prison - albeit a "nice" prison. You know, the kind where you have dozens of personal assistants, a full-time dogwalker, gourmet meals, celebrity parties, and multi-million dollar vacations approximately every three weeks.

But can all of these trappings of wealth satisfactorily take the place of the essential freedoms to go where you want to go, and do what you want to do, whenever you like?

Oh, hell yes they can!

Do any of us believe that Michelle would really rather be out there digging in her damned yam garden, homeschooling Sashimi and Malaria, or perhaps doing volunteer  "public service" work at a Planned Parenthood clinic emptying the blenders into the toilets? Hope n' Change thinks not.

But outside of the nearly biblical miracle of turning wealth into whine, Mrs. Obama does make a good point about the importance of freedom...which is our not-too-subtle segue into announcing that Hope n' Change is probably going to take most of the week off.

And we say "probably" because we never know when our muse is going to elbow us painfully in the ribs and point at whatever's on the news and then shriek like a banshee until we actually create something. As muses go, ours is sort of like Johnny Optimism's psychotic helper monkey.

We wish we could say that this was simply a short bit of vacation but the truth is that the time is needed to work on some personal, health-related matters in the Jarlsberg household. Matters which would be singularly easier if we had dozens of personal assistants, instead of just paying for them (and getting no "thank you" from this America-hating harridan).

The comments section remains open, so the party is still on. It's just more of a "BYOB" sort of affair this week! Sincere thanks for your understanding. -Stilton

And from the vaults, here's our take on Michelle Obama as Pam Grier


42 comments:

TrickyRicky said...

Stilton, good luck with your week of attending to what is really important. I would hope that we might have a week where you didn't feel compelled to comment on yet another outrage/ineptitude/platitude/gaffe/poke-in-the-eye from the asylum that is Washington DC. Good Luck and Godspeed.

Chuck said...

Take care of the important stuff. we'll still be here when you get back!

John the Econ said...

Good luck Stilton. Thoughts and prayers with you.

I'll agree with Michelle Obama to a degree that living the life of 1st Lady probably is a prison of sorts.

But I'm not going to feel the least bit sorry for her. Her "prison" is several order of magnitude better than the prison she and her Progressive ilk have in store for the rest of Americans.

Speaking of imprisonment, anyone catch that wonderful jobs report last Friday?

Temporary jobs becoming a permanent fixture in US

http://news.yahoo.com/temporary-jobs-becoming-permanent-fixture-140133833.html

Progressives and the media celebrated a couple hundred-thousand new jobs "created or saved" last week. But most of those hired for those jobs really aren't. They're just desperate, and imprisoned in a job market with limited use for them. The big growth in jobs in in the "temporary" category; short term, short hours, and relatively low pay.

Why is this? Certainly ObamaCare is a big reason. Splitting one full-time job into two part-time jobs spares the employer of having to deal with the health care elephant. (And it has the bonus of allowing the Obama Administration of counting an extra job created in the process!) We know this is true, because in sector with the greatest jobs growth, dining and hospitality, total hours worked remained about the same; More people working the same amount of work.

But the bigger reason is the same as it was 6 years ago; just plain "uncertainty". Few employers are willing to commit to long-term stability and growth, because any minute change in policy by the Administration, Congress, or the Federal Reserve could effectively pull the rug out from under you.

In other words, expectation that politicians will continue to try to "fix" the economy is what is actually holding us back. It's not possible to make business plans when you have no way of knowing what government policy that will directly affect you will be in 6 months or a year, what interest rates might be, or what your taxes will be.

As I said at the eve of this now perma-crisis in 2007, the best solution to the problem is to do nothing; But that's not the nature of politicians, where there is little power and glory to be gained by "doing nothing". So, instead, we have literally hundreds-of-thousands of economic micromanagers all trying to "fix" America in their own image.

They still think we're in "crisis" when the "recovery" took place 5 years ago. What they don't get is that there is no "recovery" on the horizon. This is "the new normal".

mike lester said...

Just an educated guess but when the defense trots out Trayvon Martin's autographed burglary tool skit (collect 'em all!) you might be forced back in to action.

Coon Tasty said...

Enjoy your holiday, SJ! I hope you'll use some of that time to stock up on the ammo, foodstuffs and bottled water that will be necessary if Zimmerman is acquitted.

Just a thought: if you want to leave secret messages on the site for Hn'C fans, just write them in cursive script. - Obama voters can't read it, apparently...

Bob D said...

Stilton, hit or miss, it's all good. Summertime, and the living (should be) easy. Not too taxing to click on a bookmark and see if you've dropped in. Take care of yourself first is a good rule. P.S. The book give away was kind of you, but I'm happy to have purchased it. A little skin in the game and all that.

Drew C said...

Hope and change comics, not racist, but #1 with racists.

Aww who am I kidding, it's totally racist.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@TrickyRicky- Thanks for the kind thoughts, though I don't know how long I'll be able to stick to my resolution: I just read in the WSJ about Obamacare using "the honor system" to award healthcare subsidies based entirely on what people claim is their income. This opens up the system to yet more fraud, will drive costs far higher, and is yet another admission that the government can't handle the administrative needs of the monster it created.

@Chuck- Much appreciated.

@John the Econ- Great remarks and terribly, sadly true. I've often said that the government has no real power to create jobs - all it can do is curtail their own policies which impede natural job growth - and that's something that Obama and the Dems will never let happen.

And today I read that there are more people on foodstamps than people employed in the private sector. As you point out, those people are in a prison that is a lot less nice than the one the first lady is bitching about.

@Mike Lester- Yeah, I can feel the clock ticking already...

@Coon Tasty- I live in a well-fortified part of Texas. Any riots going on around here will end pretty quickly and decisively.

@Bob D- Thank you!

@Drew C- I was tempted to just nuke your embarrassing little troll remark, but I decided to see if you have any balls whatsoever instead.

What is this allegedly "racist" content of which you speak? Or is that just a word which erupts out of you, Tourette's style, on a regular basis?

John the Econ said...

@Stilton, don't nuke hapless @Drew C. He's just another example of the ignorant low-information Progressive who continues to devalue the lingual currency of the left.

In his intellectually lazy world, anything that dares diss the President or the 1st lady is automatically considered "racist", and therefore his mind is then freed up from contemplating whatever it is that we are commenting about.

Let him be today's poster child for liberal cranial atrophy.

Colby said...

Wow, Drew. That ranks right up there with, "I know you are, but what am I?" ...or the ever popular, "Oh, yeah!"

I do have a question, though. Why is it racism when white people criticize Barack Obama, but not racism when black people criticize George Bush? Have you forgotten how Clarence Thomas was drug through the mud and vilified by white Democrats? What about Herman Cain? Was that racism justified because he is a Conservative?

Another thing... I am not a racist, sir; I think Biden's hell bent on destroying this country for personal gain just as much as Barry is.

@Stilton,
As John the Econ said; our thought and prayers to you and your family. We shall reluctantly struggle on this week and welcome you back whenever you can't stand not posting anymore.

Pete(Detroit) said...

Hell, here *I* thought Drew's comment was FUNNY, and he'd just left off the /sarc tag...

Let's put it this way, Drew - we don't hate the president simply because one "African" grandmother on the Islamic side of the family graced him w/ dark skin. Heck, many of us may not actually "hate" him at all - we just strongly disagree w/ his overbearing, unconstitutional, communistic, gun grabbing, industry killing, people controlling, lying, turbo-spinning crap weasel activity.
If it helps you feel better about it, think of it as hating what he DOES, not what he IS. Or you can consider that perhaps we only hate his white half (or the Islamist 36%, or...)
Seriously, the color of his skin is the LEAST important thing going on w/ this incompetent meat puppet for George Soros, yet oddly that is the FIRST thing Libs throw out there, like it's some kind of argument ender.
WTF is THAT about anyway? Is it that there is NO other POSSIBLE defense of this moron still trying after 5 years to convince us he can hand us a turd from the clean end?
Stilt appears to have given you one chance to prove your comment was not mere intellectual flatulence preceding an onslaught of oral diarrhea, I suggest you choose your response wisely...

10lbsofcheese said...

http://www.fark.com/comments/7831989/Q-What-do-you-get-when-you-combine-Benghazi-the-Zimmerman-Martin-trial-into-a-joke-A-A-Fark-green-light

Stilton, you need to file a complaint with fark.com, they are once again using your comic in their liberal echo chamber.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- Libs are unable to countenance any criticism of black people because they (the libs) are unable to look at "the content of the character rather than the color of the skin." Which is how the Left has become the largest and most powerful group of racists in the nation.

@Colby- Lefties just love calling people like Judge Thomas a "house nigger" and then claim that they're not racist because they're standing up for the true blacks - who live in government housing and hopeless poverty, as the Libs want. You can't be the "good massa" unless you keep people enslaved.

@Pete(Detroit)- I think you summed things up pretty well: there is no defense of this president other than to point to his semi-blackness (he has the same amount of "cracker" blood as George Zimmerman, by the way) and scream racism. Which, by the way, pretty much makes support of this president the ultimate expression of racism: the Left doesn't look past his skin because they know there's nothing substantive underneath.

@10lbsofcheese - I took a look over there, but it's just sad. Someone over there said that this comment section is "comedy gold" from their perspective, but I'm afraid that it doesn't work the other way around. The comments over at Fark are sort of Beavis & Butthead meet MSNBC, and neither enlighten nor entertain.

txGreg said...

@John the Econ,

"liberal cranial atrophy" That sounds like a related disease to the one which I ascribe to most Libs I encounter.. "rectal-cranial inversion."

Maybe that process cuts of the circulation of oxygenated blood, leading to the aforementioned atrophy?

John the Econ said...

I don't know, txGreg. At least the "rectal-cranial inversion" sounds as though it requires a certain amount of effort to achieve. The individual involved isn't necessarily lazy; just stupid.

"Liberal cranial atrophy" simply means applying no effort towards thought at all; just relying upon "feelings" to know what's logical and right. Brains are muscles too, and lack of use will cause them to waste away like any other organ of the body.

Jim Hlavac said...

I don't really have sympathy for the prisoners in such a prison as the White House -- no one asked you to seek out the prison you find yourself in --- and you knew what it was way before you got inside. Why, Dolly Madison and Abigail Adams wrote about it, so did many first ladies -- surely you read every single last book on the ladies who preceded you, yes, Michelle?

Pete(Detroit) said...

Well, Jim, we can give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she CAN read - so long as it's not in cursive..
Or, perhaps ONLY if it's in "curse-ive"?

Pete(Detroit) said...

Gonna be a bit long, bear w/ me...

Some time ago, was in a "gentleman's club" and one of the "dancers" was trying to get me to sign up for a 'barbecue night' they were having soon. As a promotion. As she put it, "the owners are starting to feel that there's a recession on, and are looking to other things to get people in. Last week, they had Dwarf tossing. No, seriously, this little guy cam up on stage, w/ a kind of harness, w/ handles, and for some cash you and a buddy could toss him into a pile of cushions at the end of the stage.. Well, these two guys tossed him, and kinda missed the cushions, he went over the edge, and kinda bashed his forehead, it was all bleeding, you know? I mean, everybody's got a right to make a living, but this seemed kind of, I don't know, kinda DEGRADING, or something, you know?"

A STRIPPER

Saying it's DEGRADING.

Hmmm...

Kind of operational definition of "Irony" until
"Al Jezeera Anchor resigns over Pro Muslim Brotherhood Bias"

Only, that may actually NOT be "irony" just EYE-rony - as in OPENED...

http://weaselzippers.us/2013/07/08/almost-two-dozen-al-jazeera-staffers-resign-over-channels-pro-muslim-brotherhood-bias/

John the Econ said...

@Pete(Detroit), at least you have to give those staffers at Al-Jazeera credit for having at least some integrity as "journalists". They certainly have more that most of those at the American alphabets...

George in Houtx said...

Jim H.: glad to see you!! insightful as ever!
as for 'Madame Obama': "prison"? the bird sings in a gilded cage! she doesn't seem to object to the lavish vacations! one MIGHT could make the argument about her husband having to make 'business trips', but she COULD go dig yams in her garden!! she'll not get any sympathy from me!!

American Cowboy said...

Perhaps the affliction of liberals is "rectal-cranial insertion"? That way several of them can spread the effort around by cranial insertion into the rectums of their fellow liberals. It would seem that fits what so many are in a sense doing to their "Dear Leader".

BTW: I had to laugh at one of the verification words...asswombs?

Earl Allison said...

See, here's my problem. Michelle Obama SOUGHT. THIS. OUT.

Not once, but TWICE.

To then cry about how her life is somewhat restrictive (while her other face does an excellent Marie Antionette impression) not only doesn't set off my sympathy meter, it does the exact opposite, and sets off my disdain meter.

Stilton. God Bless and best of luck with the loved ones. Good thoughts and Prayers enroute at Warp 9.

Take care, and be well.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Chewbacca: Do what other prisoners do to protest their conditions: Go on a hunger strike!

@John: I read that jobs report while in Canada and drew the same conclusions. Bravo again, sir - excellent points, all well made. (And spot-on regarding the LIV and brain atrophy - though I must point out that there are those burning their brains out in their effort to find all the nifty, societal means to undo our freedoms.)

@Pete: Drew C is projecting. Remember the old Shakespearean line: "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."? Yeah. Liberals. They're the most sexist, racist group I can think of - always pointing out what makes people "different", the crusading to make them "equal" to the big, mean old white male folks. They choose the comparator in defining "different", and it is always the same. Tell me, then: who is the racist? Who is the sexist?

Male, female, white, black, etc., etc. were made equal in His eyes. What more can you expect to do?! Most conservatives take this approach. We prefer not to point out the differences in people, but rather how we're alike. One approach is exclusive. The other is inclusive.

@Pete: And CNN's Soledad O'Brien is joining Al Jazeera. She clearly didn't leave CNN over their Muslim Brotherhood bias...

@Stilton: Take care of what's important. And know that we have your back.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Great comments above. I'm reading, just don't have the ability to join in at the moment. Carry on!

Colby said...

After mulling it over a bit, it actually would suck to be living in a house with so much security that you couldn't even drive down to the local 7-11 to get a six pack like you did in the old days. It would drive me nutty to have guys in black suits folling me everywhere I went, and having so little privacy.

That being said, this woman gets on TV and complains about THAT!? Why doesn't she complain about some of the shit that's happening on a daily basis, like our borders being overrun by illegals, planes crashing, innocent people being slaughtered in Syria, firefighters being burnt to death in Arizona, legless and armless soldiers suffering with zero help from the gubmint, millions of Americans out of work or working part time jobs that pay a fraction of what they used to make, record numbers of murders in her own home town, nutjobs like Kim Jong Un threatening to blow everybody up, businesses failing under oppressive gubmint regulations, $3.50 per gallon gas, the highest taxes in decades....

Yeah, I feel really sorry for her being trapped in a mansion eating the most expensive food in the world, wearing dresses that cost more than I've spent on clothes in my lifetime, and having to take million dollar vacations that she doesn't have to pay for. Boo effing hoo...

John the Econ said...

Does anyone honestly believe that broccoli is the President's "favorite food"?

Stan da Man said...

John - "Favorite" perhaps not - but I bet he eats it 'regularly'...

Coon Tasty said...

@John the Econ - Well, they're hardly going to admit that it's fried chicken, are they?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby- The security can't be that tight - don't you remember the photo of Michelle shopping at Target with no Secret Service in sight? When the photo was released, to show what non-elitist tastes the first lady has, it was accompanied by this quote: "It is not uncommon for the First Lady to slip out to run an errand, eat at a local restaurant or otherwise enjoy the city outside the White House gates.” You know, like a prisoner.

@John the Econ, Stan da Man, and Coon Tasty- I think Barry did the right thing telling a roomful of children that his favorite food was broccoli, because it would have been inappropriate to actually say what his mouth is really full of most of the time.

Anonymous said...

Racist and #1 with racists!

God job coon tasty.

You're helping.

Anonymous said...

Hey Stilty, the story you linked mentioned that plain clothes secret service agents arrived about half an hour before she did.

I know reading is hard, but it is Fundamental.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous- Sorry, afraid that you're still the only racist on display here.

You appear to have immediately seized on a pejorative interpretation of the word "coon" (which isn't even in our vernacular) rather than realizing that many of us here have "cheesy" handles, and the commenter in this case is from Australia, where Coon Tasty is a well-respected brand of cheese products, with no racial connotation whatsoever other than what you've brought to it. You really should try to get over your ethnocentricity and racial biases.

But as long as you've got time on your hands, why don't you write to Webster's and try to get them to remove "niggardly" from the dictionary? Or create an advocacy group demanding that greens no longer be called "collard?" Get out there and make a difference.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous 2 - Yes, reading IS fundamental. Which is why I'm surprised that you didn't bother to read that I said that the picture showed "no Secret Service in sight" and it doesn't - because the picture was staged like a Broadway musical and intended to show the first lady as "just folks" doing her shopping at Target. But I clearly didn't say that no Secret Service people were involved or off camera.

SOOoooo, I guess that makes you the literacy-challenged person here. And probably a racist, too.

Anonymous said...

Oh stilts, you're ao sad.

1. It was referring to his fried chicken comment.
But hey, choose coon, a word that has had racial contations as your screen name on a right wing blog, because that sure doesn't send any kind of message.

2. You were the one to mention that security can't be that tight. No First Lady has ever had a photo op befor right?

I bet she eats crackers like she owns the place too.






JustaJeepGuy said...

I guess Anonymous needs to learn how many different cheeses there are. But he'll still call some of them racist.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonypuss- 1) What's wrong with fried chicken? Have you let Black folks know they're not supposed to like it? Seriously, you need to get out there and broadcast the message before more hyphenated Americans embarrass themselves!

2) Damn straight I mentioned that security can't be "that tight" if she's able to regularly "slip out" for errands, shopping, and restaurant visits. I think even you would have to agree that prison-style security, which is what she's talking about, wouldn't allow these kinds of whimsical, spontaneous outings.

And finally, when you say "crackers" I can only imagine that you're denigrating poor, beautiful Rachel "Dee Dee" Jeantel's courtroom testimony in the Zimmerman trial. Why do you hate Black people so much?

Emmentaler Limburger said...

I believe it - wasn't Broccoli was the name of the dog Øbama ate in Indonesia?

Anonymous Racist: Fired chicken is bad for you. In light of Moochelle's penchant for healthy foods, wouldn't you say that Øbama shouldn't cite fried chicken as his favorite food? Stop projecting. Fired chicken is not and ethnocentric food, except in your twisted mind.

Per Stilton's comments on Target Moochelle's security: the word for the day is SARCASM. Look it up.

Samson said...

I am a black man, and I love fried chicken! There... I said it. All of my family (by some strange coincidence) are also black people. I can't think of one of them that don't like fried chicken. Everybody in my church is black too (surprise!). Guess what most of 'em bring for pot luck suppers? Yup, fried chicken! I went down to Popeyes Saturday, and there was a bunch of white folks eatin.... FRIED CHICKEN!!

anonymous,
You are an idiot! And I bet you eat tofu!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Emmentaler- Bonus points for your "Broccoli the dog" line!

@Samson- Thanks for your input. One of the things that pisses me off the most about the way libs throw down the word "racism" is that I'm old enough to remember the real thing. Segregated bathrooms and drinking fountains...snarling police dogs, fire hoses, axe handles, and real Jim Crow laws. It's an appalling blot on our nation's history.

And yes, there is still racism today that needs to be confronted and defeated (and not restricted to, or aimed at, any single race). But when the accusation is made casually, reflexively, and without substance then it numbs us to real racism and suffering. And that's what libs like Anonymous are doing - bitching about whether the words "fried chicken" can be spoken while Black Americans suffer losses under this president greater than any other demographic - with the libs full and enthusiastic support.

Pete(Detroit) said...

Emmentaller -
Was a Muzzi, ate a dog, Broccoli was it's name - o....
/Bingo

Samson - LOL! Tree hugging tofu eater! New insult of the week! Next, you suppose I'll get in trouble for having a 1/2 a watermelon in my fridge?
I MISS Popeye's - when I lived in Dallas, they were everywhere, and everyone went there. I think there are two in Detroit metro area, and based on the glass the only people that go there are crazed gunmen.
>sigh<

WMD said...

Well, I guess anonymous caught us. The secret's out, we're all racists. She can now print and clip out these comments and put them next to her "Participation Award" and her you "Tried Your Best" Trophy and her "33rd Place Ribbon". Way to go anonymous you've single handidly uncovered a previously unknown secret cabal of covert racism. You really told us off.

I haven't commented here for a while because I was at the secret meeting us white racists have periodically. It's where we hatch our evil plans to put people back in chains, restrict access to public water fountains, learn new "code" words, practice the secret hand-shake. And so on.

Yeah, I'll tell ya anonymous I was completly blown away by your thorough and blistering evaluation, analysis and refutation of this web comic and the commentors.

Bravo Madamoiselle, Bravo.

Shut it down Stilt, it's over, we've been skewerd by the scathing rebuke of anonymous. I don't see a recovery in the near future.

(You guys are all cheese????)

Coon Tasty said...

@WMD -Don't forget the cursive writing...