Monday, January 6, 2014

Beach, Beach, Beach

obama, obama jokes, humor, cartoon, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, conservative, tea party, hawaii, michelle, vacation, marijuana, golf, tax money
After spending 15 incredibly luxurious and expensive days in Hawaii with her husband and children, Michelle Obama has just received a very special early birthday gift: more time in Hawaii without her husband and children!

The fact that the president is giving his wife such a wonderful and generous gift should silence all those wagging tongues which have lately been suggesting that there has recently been serious friction in the First Marriage - an ugly rumor which we certainly won't repeat here the way some sleazy but almost invariably accurate tabloids do.

No, we absolutely believe that this is a nice birthday present (Michelle turns 50 on January 17th) which will allow her to take time off from having Barry around (and wouldn't we all enjoy that gift?) and...well, wait a minute. Technically, she didn't see much of Barry when he was IN Hawaii, because he spent almost every day golfing and cruising around in Choom Wagon One, sucking down primo pakololo and hitting mailboxes with baseball bats.

So apparently, the real birthday gift is giving the first lady time away from her daughters, Malaria and Sushi, which is understandable considering that the Obamas have described children as the "punishment" which comes from having recreational sex.

But in the end, it really doesn't matter if what we're seeing is a bad marriage, bad parenting, or simply bad stewardship of our tax money. All that really matters is that the first lady have a good time, and that she hurries back to Washington soon.

After all, while her husband is busy declaring war on "income inequality" in this country, she's got to plan a gigantic, all-star, "money is no object" 50th birthday gala for herself.

Presumably with no children allowed.

obama, obama jokes, humor, cartoon, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, conservative, tea party, hawaii, michelle, vacation, marijuana, golf, tax money, surfing
Clearly she's hangin' a lot more than ten...


26 comments:

Larry Sheldon said...

"Constitutional crisis looms. Mooch to kick the President out of the Whitehouse."

TrickyRicky said...

@Larry Sheldon- Alternatively, Valerie kicks them both out.

Colby said...

...and no doubt Mooch will fly back on a commercial jet, so she doesn't waste taxpayer money by having AF1 fly aaaallll the way to Hawaii and back just to pick her up, right?

Actually, this will give BO an excellent opportunity to NOT get caught in the First Bedroom playing "spades" with Reggie.

Stilton,
Thanks a bunch for reminding us that we have to work all five days this week.

How'd y'all like Harry Reid's reason for extending unemployment benefits? "It's good for the economy." says Harry. So now taking a dollar from Tom and giving it to Bob somehow makes the economy bigger???? I don't know where dumbass Reid went to school, but their math program is in question. Granted, that was back when they made dirt by banging rocks together...

Sparky said...

"Let them eat cake", comes to mind on this one. Can we behead them yet?

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Colby: Reid's math is perfectly fine! In Keynesian economics, money magically appears, impaled on the horns of unicorns herded by fairies...

Honestly: when will this nightmare end?

Reiuxcat said...

So did Mrs Robinson return with the kids or is she hanging out with her daughter Mooch?

I wonder just how much it costs to keep her, the MIL, in the White House.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Larry Sheldon- According to divorce law, Michelle and the kids would get the White House, and Barry would have to move back into the Man's Country club.

@TrickyRicky- That strikes me as the likeliest scenario.

@Colby- Anyone who is working five days this week should be thankful; there are currently 93 million Americans not in the workforce.

And Harry Reid is an idiot when it comes to paying unemployment. He says it's good for the economy, while Pelosi is out there (way out there) claiming that by receiving unemployment and having free time, people are freeing their inner artists and causing a boom in creativity and expression (which seems mostly to play out in photo collections of "the people of WalMart.")

@Sparky- Sorry, the only way we can get rid of them is for all of us to beheading to the polls in November.

On the other hand, if Surfin' Mooch should happen to yell "Hang Ten," maybe we could claim we were only taking orders.

@Emmentaler- What's always driven me crazy about Keynesian economics is that it presumes that a dollar spent by someone who gets it free will be multiplied as it's spent again and again by various merchants. BUT, that same dollar was taken away from the person who actually earned it, causing the same multiplier effect in reverse as it fails to pass through multiple hands.

Meaning that the net gain from Keynesian wealth transfer is zero - or would be if the government didn't take it's own share of that magical dollar before passing it along to someone unemployed.

@Reiuxcat- The article didn't say if Michelle's Mom stayed out there, or if she was sent back to the White House to care for her granddaughters.

But frankly, I'm fine with her living in the White House if it means Barry gets dirty looks from his mother-in-law whenever he and Michelle argue.

Anonymous said...

Dude, the name is 'Satchel' not 'Sushi'.

Colby said...

@Reiuxcat,
To answer your question about the cost of keeping Mooch-in-law in the White House, see Emmantaler's comments about unicorns herded by fairies. I'm sure you and I are paying absolutely nothing for her room and board, and she is eating nothing but yams from the Wookie's garden and sleeps on the couch.

@Stilton,
Trust me, I thank God daily for my job, especially considering I'm a geezer (61 and climbing). I also pray I can survive the obama-conomy and actually be able to retire someday before I get sent to an aged person death camp where they will pump me full of pain killers and psych drugs in anticipation of obama's euthanasia legislation.

John the Econ said...

Yes @Colby, the Keynesian multiplier is a curious beast. Under their odd logic, we'd all be better off if we quit our jobs and went on welfare.

Bruce Bleu said...

HEY, I've recently had a birthday... how about lamont giving ME a present and going to Antarctica and "looking for evidence of global warming"? OR... going ANY DAMNED PLACE and NOT coming BACK!!!!!!!!
And what a shot of the First Wookiee "hanging ten" tons of ass over her serf-board [sic]. Maybe she could visit Mauna Loa or Mauna Kea and THROW HERSELF IN AS A SACRIFICE to the abortion gods!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous- Whatever the kids' names, it's pretty hilarious that on the campaign trail Barry sometimes refers to them as his "sons."

@Colby- Mooch-in-Law is probably on the payroll as an official food taster (and yes, the president actually travels with one).

Regarding your second point, we are equally geezerish - but I'm already pumping myself full of painkillers and psych drugs just to cope with this administration.

@John the Econ- Unemployment creates employment, giving money away creates more money, and perpetual motion has become a reality. Wait, I meant perpetual idiocy.

@Bruce Bleu- When Barry takes a long, long vacation and gets the hell out of our lives, it will be the gift that keeps on giving.

Regarding Michelle, I don't think volcanoes will present her any danger: just one of her ice-cold stares will freeze lava in its tracks.

Pete Madsen said...

Wait - doesn't Michelle 0bama have the biggest White House staff ever, to pick up after Barack and the dog and to look after the kids?

It couldn't be that those are simply Chicago no-show jobs...?

Sparky said...

@Pete Madsen ~ Mooch Antoinette does! Actually it's a "snow" job and that's what they're probably selling out of their trailer park window to the rest of America.

John the Econ said...

Speaking of Antarctica, have you been following the circus surrounding the rescue of the stranded warm-mongers there to "study" the plight of the disappearing ice? Now a rescue ship is on its way to rescue the rescue ship.

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jan/05/antarctic-rescue-us-ship-trapped

This whole "Cli-tanic" fiasco is so symbolic of the fraud that is "global warming". First, this wasn't any "scientific" mission. It was a vacation junket for a bunch of activists and media people.

Years ago, some relatives of mine took such a trip, and it was wonderful. I'd like to take such a trip myself. Unfortunately, unlike most of those on this particular trip I don't have someone else with a political agenda to foot the bill for me.

There are so many ironies at play here, beyond the fact that a bunch of activists bemoaning supposedly disappearing sea ice get trapped by sea ice in the middle of the Antarctic summer. They then get rescued by the planet's worst polluter and CO2 emitter, China. But then that ship gets stuck, so it's the planet's other CO2 enemy to the rescue, the US Cost Guard. I guess it always comes down to the American taxpayer to actually get any job done.

Will someone calculate the carbon footprint of this fiasco? Alas, the kind of people who do such math would just assume this circus go away. If they were to actually crunch the numbers, no doubt it would be no where comparable to that of the President and First Lady, but it would be interesting to actually know so that we could more accurately calculate the political vapidity of it all.

PRY said...

I personally suspect BO will have free time to share texts(with photos) with the blonde gal he 'selfied' with in South Africa!
I'm sure he can count on NSA to keep his secret!

It's No Gouda said...

Well, today I'm estremely thankful to be retired. We here in northern Indiana are "enjoying" the "benefits" of global warming. Current ambient temp is -10F and falling. Windchills are -30 to -40F.According to Drudge it's warmer at the South Pole than at O'Hare. we've had to shovel space for our dogs to go to the bathroom. I'm not sure how much more of this "climate change" I can handle. On the plus side we're well stocked up with food and "coffee".

Pete (Detroit) said...

Gouda, Same here.
Got a 'sick day' from work, as I could not get the car into the street, until they plowed... Looking forward to seeing if it even starts in the 'martian cold' of tomorrow am..

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Pete Madsen- I'm pretty sure you're right about Michelle having a huge staff. So really the only benefit I can see for this extra "vacation" is time away from Barry, her daughters, or all three. What a gal!

@Sparky- I would love to live long enough to see the First Couple living in a trailer park. Preferably when they're visited during an episode of COPS.

@John the Econ- Forget "Disney on Ice," you just can't beat "Environmentalists on Ice" for sheer entertainment value. I've been reading about the countless thousands of trees they intend to plant to rebalance the Earth and their own karmas after this fiasco.

But where will they plant those trees? How will they buy the land? Will they hike in with all the seedlings? How will they protect those trees from bugs, drought, fires, or lightning until they reach oxygen-producing maturity? And what if they stick to their "science" and plant trees which thrive in global heat...but the trees are subsequently subjected to the wintery conditions which seem to be occurring whether the "experts" like it or not?

Or, to put it another way - these people are idiots.

@PRY- Even now, Barry is probably soliciting sexting tips from Anthony "Carlos Danger" Wiener.

@It's No Gouda- I was an Indianapolis native, and Mrs. Jarlsberg hails from South Bend, where the lake wind effect could really pile up the snow.

We were there for the blizzard of '78, and are pretty happy NOT to be there for this cold spell (although we still love Indiana).

And I'm glad you've got the "coffee" situation handled. Everything else will pretty much sort itself out.

@Pete(Detroit)- I'm shivering just reading that. Mind you, we've had some cold weather down here in Dallas for the last day or so, but nothing like what's going on where you folks are. Stay warm, stay safe, and take comfort that at least your tax dollars are having fun in Hawaii.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Stilton: Tsk, tsk. The Magic Money Pump in Keynesian economic theory is commonly know as "The Fed", where US Dollars magically multiply to the joy and benefit of all! (Except, perhaps, those who understand where that tax called "inflation" comes from.) But, hey! The Fed has been multiplying those dollars like a Quantitative Rabbit of late... Bernanke was the Chief Unicorn Herder, and the unicorns are all protected by their SEIU contracts. I don't expect much different from the next herder - especially since she's already tipped her hat to the status quo. But, being the first female fed chief, she'll probably make history in just the same way as, say, the first half-black president did. Giddy times! (Hint: don't expect things to get any better in the short term. Or, possibly, the long term... John Maynard Keynes is alive and well in WDC - and in charge.)

@Stilton: If her icy stare doesn't spell salvation, the fact that no crater is big enough to shove that "natural" ass through will be...

@Pete Madsen: Of *course* Mooch has the largest staff of any first lady! It only follows since Øbama clearly has the smallest staff of any male of any species. Someone has to be the man about the house!

@John: I laughed until I cried. Can't wait to see how the Earth Worshipers spin all this cold: "It's climate CHANGE; not global WARMING. You deniers are all the SAME. Weather is becoming more EXTREME. It's all explained by our MODELS..." You know it's coming. I'm particularly fond of The Øne's recent admonitions regarding the extreme warmth we are experiencing, and how the gummint needs to step in to fix it all...

@Pete in Day-twa: You need a job like mine, where you can take your Company-provided phone and laptop home with you, and log in remotely, meeting with all the denizens of this particular region of hell using remote meeting tools! Yay. We usually do this immediately after driving home from a full 10 hour day at work, but, hey! It makes days like today almost tolerable.

American Cowboy said...

Please forgive my insensitivity:

When I read this caption "Clearly she's hangin' a lot more than ten..." I couldn't help thinking she more likely is hangin' only two. Someone in that family has to have a pair, and it seems the way Øbamma deflects, denies, and dismisses any and all legitimate concerns and questions about himself or his policies that it evidently isn't him.

American Cowboy said...

@ Emmentaler Limburger said:

@Pete Madsen: Of *course* Mooch has the largest staff of any first lady! It only follows since Øbama clearly has the smallest staff of any male of any species. Someone has to be the man about the house!

Similar thought that I had. I don't know that Mooshell is "clearly hangin' more than ten...", I would guess perhaps hangin' "two".

FlyBoy said...

Hey, Stilt-

C'mon up here to Indy, where everyone's favorite pastime is trying to stay warm! Where's Algore when we need him?

David in SoCal said...

Stilt: Priceless photo of the Mooch-Master shreddin' waves at our expense. I am especially impressed by her gnarly hot-doggin' pants! If I'm not mistaken, those designer 'broad shorts' are made by 'Hugh Jass of Nanakuli'.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Well, today the Thermo-reader said E-13 - which apparently means "So cold I no longer give a crap and quit counting"
And yeah, POS six year old battery was cryo-ed to the point were it would not even give me one crank. Will see if it's solid when when the hood release thaws enough to let me peek inside again, or if it's split wide open... (and yes, well aware that 'expected' life of a battery is 4 years, and this one owes me nothing)
Thanks, Stilt, but it's only cold, and as I live alone I keep 1/2 the house closed off so the furnace is able to keep up just fine. And 48 hours after the stuff stops roads (main ones, anyway) are typically passable (if still slippery / slow). As opposed to when you folks get clobbered and you have to clear freeways w/ dozers and graders. And, thank God, we RARELY get ice storms - you can KEEP those, thank you very much!

Emmentaller, I used to have a job like that, but the powers that be decided that 3 folks in India could do it better errrr (koff) cheaper than I could. Tragically, the Indians rotate to a new project every 12-18 months, and never get a chance to build up the experience that top notch service requires. Ah, well, at least they're cheap. Unless you count down time...
But yeah, on my weekends 'on' (every other) I REALLY enjoyed the 20 foot commute.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Pete in D: Pshaw! (or, perhaps: Peshawar!) India is soooo three years ago! They discovered pockets of socialism- er - "UNIONS". Now we spread our corporate greed into the Philipines - er, at least we did up to the tsunami. Not sure where it will all float off to, now.

Remember those WOMC commercials? "What would Detroit be without the big O?" I can't recall hearing any of those of late. Maybe since Øbama didn't listen to Mizz Watson and repay their votes with a bailout, they've figured it out that they're just like the rest of the country, and would be far better off without the big Ø...