Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Speaker Squeaker

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, boehner, speaker, yoho, gohmert, pirate

In the most contentious vote of its kind in nearly a century, John Boehner beat challengers Ted Yoho and Louis Gohmert for the coveted title of goofiest name in the Republican party - thereby winning the grand prize of being Speaker of the House, while his opponents had to settle for runner-up awards of gift cards to Target and Starbucks.

Tea Party favorites Yoho and Gohmert each had their supporters, who raucously took to the floor of the House singing "Yoho, Yoho, A pirate's life for me" or, in the case of Gohmert's advocates (who apparently watch a lot of Andy Griffith reruns) shouting, "Well, gollleee!"

Still, Boehner pulled the vote out of the fire owing to the fact that 90% of the American people still believe his name is pronounced as if it were a coarse synonym for "tallywhacker."

"I'm delighted to again have the opportunity to work closely with Mr. Boner," snickered alleged Hawaiian Barack Hussein Soetoro Obama. Who, coincidentally, is the goofiest named Democrat.

BONUS: Body Baguette

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, brunch, protest, michael brown, garner, occupy, racism, brady bunch
They also think Rosa Parks was forced to bus tables.


Radical Islamics brutally murdered journalists and police today because they were outraged that satiric publication "Charlie Hebdo" had printed cartoons critical of Islamic extremism. Cartoons.

But such freedom of expression is safe here in the United States, right? Unfortunately, we think the entire world learned the answer to that two years ago when Obama visited the UN to address Benghazi after arresting a YouTube filmmaker who was critical of Islam...

Excerpts from the 9/26/12 commentary...

Obama said he was against things like attacking our embassies and killing the occasional ambassador (wink-wink, nudge-nudge)...but then repeated his bizarre assertion that none of this violence was directed at the United States (indeed, it was "an assault on the very ideals upon which the United Nations was founded") and moreover that it was all the fault of the idiot YouTube movie.

Terrorism? It never came up. But he did say the film was "an insult to all Muslims" and "We understand why people take offense to this video because millions of our citizens are among them."

But as if standing on that slippery slope wasn't enough, Obama decided to go down it on skis - declaring: "The future must not belong to those who slander the Prophet of Islam!"

Really, Barry? Really...?!


Geoff King said...

Is it any wonder Boehner was reelected as Speaker of the House? Just because the majority of voting Republicans wanted him ousted for being a RINO in Øbama's pocket obviously makes no difference whatsoever - just as the newly Republican controlled Senate will make no difference whatsoever. If you voted for a Republicrat, you will get exactly what you deserve - business as usual.

Grumpy Curmudgeon said...

I just wonder what these Republican's would be thinking if while they were doing their silly s***, the Dems snuck in a strategy and got the numbers needed for Nancy Pelosi to be Speaker? Or better yet, Valerie Jarrett? (There is nothing in the Constitution that says that the Speaker must be an elected member of the House - Article I, Section 2[5]).

REM1875 said...

Oh for the oppurtunity to give bonehead the flat side of a cutlas along side the noggin, just to get his attention, although keel hauling and running him up the mast on the end of a stout line would be more fitting for him.

REM1875 said...

I am so bitterly disappointed in the republican congress that I can hardly see straight.

TrickyRicky said...

All four of our Republican reps from Colorado voted for Boner. I am three days into a brilliant, brilliant plan to abstain from alcohol for a month, and I now realize that I have picked a horrible time to quit sniffing glue (apologies to Leslie Nielsen).

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- BREAKING NEWS: Radical Muslims have committed a horrible act of terror in Paris, killing staff at a satirical publication which dared to print a cartoon about Mohammed. As of this writing, there are 12 reported dead - and the killers are still on the loose. What an effing world this is...

@Geoff King- While I can't enthuse about Boehner's re-election, I'm not despondent either. The job of Speaker is a lot like wrangling cats, and there's not much evidence that either Gohmert or Yoho had the clout among their peers to make things happen.

I'm hopeful (albeit not optimistic) that with the new balance of power in Washington we may see a new side of Boehner.

@Grumpy Curmudgeon- I'm pretty sure that Valerie Jarrett prefers to work in the dark. Like an evil, monomaniacal mushroom.

@REM1875- I'd like to think that the last election got his attention (as did the emergence of some challengers for his job).

I think we all need to take a deep breath and take some time before making up our minds about what this new Congress will do in the coming months.

@TrickyRicky- Actually you need to apologize to Lloyd Bridges.

Bruce said...

How apropos, from Merriam

noun \ˈbō-nər\
Definition of BONER

2: a clumsy or stupid mistake

Good catch on the inaccurate "Airplane" allusion. You ARE a genius.

John the Econ said...

Afraid I have to side with @Geoff King. If you were hoping for real "Change", you're not going to see it in the Senate this session. You'll hear lots of talk about "working with the President", which is actually the last thing we need.

@Stilton, I hope that the world headquarters of Hope & Change are well secured. Once again we're going to see why terrorism works. We're getting further into an age to where it will only be safe to mock Christians and Jews, but hands of the Muslims. Of course, there will be universal condemnation from the MSM types, but I assure you that they've gotten the message.

But don't just believe me. We recently had a perfect example of this phenomenon at work. Sony finally received accolades for releasing "The Interview" in light of incredible threats from faceless hackers. But I ask you: Why was "The Interview" about killing Kim Il-sung, instead of say, Iranian Supreme Leader, Ali Khamenei? That would have been a much bolder choice. No, creators of "The Interview" took the safe choice, since nobody believed that the Norks would be any kind of real threat.

At least I have to give the media some credit for labeling this for what it actually is: Islamic terrorism, instead of what has been the standard refrain of "Workplace Violence".

David in SoCal said...

My thoughts and Prayers are for the families and friends of those needlessly butchered and wounded today in France.
But have no fear Global Community; I'm sure HRH Soetoro will, uhh, form a committee, uhh, find out who's responsible, aaaaaaaand, uhh, hold them accountable.

Just saw the ever constipated John(I served in Viet Nam)Kerry make a statement about the French butchery, and he also gave a statement in almost perfect French; which I'm sure he learned to speak while sympathizing for the Viet Cong he once not-so-bravely fought in former French Indochina.

BTW; FYI; did any of you know John Kerry served in Viet Nam?...;-)

As for the House of Reprehensibles: I was hoping they would make the Boner pull out, and was not surprised at all, that the jittery, spittle-spraying HM Pelosi was so very happy that the Boner would stay in.
It's a shame we will still have a Boner in the House, and a Pussy in the Oval Office.

Rod said...

Moderate peaceful law-abiding Muslims all around the world need to step up a lot more and put an end to any possible sanction of such violence in the name of their religion. That means update their book & withdraw legitimacy from their leaders.
I was recently driving through a neighborhood in Houston TX and saw a man walking. His T-shirt had a big bold "Stop terrorism in the name of Islam." He looked to be middle eastern and he was, as I learned when I turned around and went back to stop, go shake his hand and thank him. He really appreciated it. Maybe he was just glad I didn't shoot him.

If we need to systematically withdraw optional privileges until they see the incentives to doing this; so be it. Meanwhile for the proven terrorists, no candy-ass rules of engagement. This is getting ridiculous; let's have a real war.

Shelly said...

The slaughter in Paris should raise the gun control argument but, of course, it won't. France has strict gun control. Even the police for the most part don't carry guns. So the victims were sitting ducks who had no way to defend themselves, especially the cop on the street whose begging for mercy got him a slug in the head. It's shameful.

John the Econ said...

What gets me is all of these leaders all of a sudden talking big about defending "free speech". What a joke! Obama just talked big about it. And yet, wasn't his administration the one that jailed the guy responsible for the supposed Benghazi YouTube video?

The European states have been actively pursuing almost anyone who speaks ill of Islam for over a decade now. The EU MSM has gone out of its way to hide anything that makes Islam look bad, like the systematic sexual exploitation of young children in Islamic communities that practically everyone, including law enforcement knew about, and yet would say or do nothing.

So as all these journalists feign outrage and speak so boldly as to how they shall stand up against this threat to free speech, what do they do? They blur copies of Charlie Hebdo as not to offend Muslims!


And then they wonder why the far-right is rising up in Europe.

It's No Gouda said...

BTW; FYI; did any of you know John Kerry served in Viet Nam?...;-)
DaveinSoCal: It would be more precise to say that ol' Jean Francois was PRESENT in Vietnam.
There are some doubts about the quality of his "service".

Colby Muenster said...

I'm pretty sure neither Yoho nor Gohmert entertained ideas of actually winning, but were making a statement, and my hat off to them for showing signs of testicular presence. Perhaps Speaker Stiffy will take note.

I heard a rumor that The Speaker intends on holding some meetings with the DOJ to try and put a stop to the racial divide. These meetings will be called the Boner Holder Semen-ars.

But... say what you will about Boehner; he is still a vast improvement over San Fran Nan. The House put tons of good legislation on Harry Greed's desk; now if the new Senate will just start pulling these bills out and put them on O'Liar's desk.... I agree with Stilton; let's see what transpires over the next year or so.

A Radical Muslim attack in France?!! I thought Barry made radical Muslims non-existent when "he" killed Bin Laden. What the....?

Grumpy Curmudgeon said...

@It's No Gouda: I served in Vietnam about the same time 'ol Jean Francois did, and in about the same AOE. If there had been the atrocities he lied about, we would have heard about it through the Snuffy Grapevine, plus my Regimental CO (who later became Commandant) would have crucified any Marine participating in such. Later when I had been discharged and working in a company that hired a number of Vietnam Veterans, my Division Manager sort of made me the unofficial Viet-Vet resource as I was a member of the Brotherhood of Vietnam Veterans and working to get the VA to recognize Agent Orange & PTSD as legitimate war injuries (we had a number of vets that were in dire need of VA assistance for PTSD and AO). That's when I encountered Jean Francois personally, as he undercut the Brotherhood to turn it from a veteran oriented organization to a political orientated anti-war group. His actions cost the original Brotherhood legitimacy as a veterans organization, and probably delayed the acceptance of AO and PTSD as combat related injuries for years. He disgusted me then and he disgusts me now.

John the Econ said...

Media spin: "John Kerry spoke forcefully...". Our enemies are quaking in their boots.

I wish I had more resources to better collect and digest the media spin on this. Seconds ago, "Those who enjoy the diversity of Islam..."

What "diversity of Islam" would that be? Where have these people been for the last 20 years? This whole war is because there is "diversity in Islam". The last thing these extremists want is "diversity". They are in a holy war against diversity. There is absolutely no room for "diversity" in an Islamic caliphate.

Oh, now here's Jane Harmon blaming it on the GOP because their tired of the waste at Homeland Security. Why not? Another rich liberal who's got it all figured out.

2015 will be a very interesting year in Europe. They are in a recession. (The dollar is up not because we're doing so great, as the Obama spin machine would like you to think, but because the Euro is tanking and the European Central Bank is printing Euros faster than the Fed has been printing dollars) Greece is considering bailing on the austerity deal with the EU behind their bailout. German citizens have been making it clear that they've had enough of Islamic immigration. UKIP, a far-right anti-immigration and anti-EU party in Britain continues to grow unabated. The Dutch, formerly known as "the most tolerant people in Europe" have had enough. And now today in France, who's citizens have long-since tired of the Islamic takeover for years, experiences the worst terror attack in generations.

For the short term, expect a lot of bold talk, but little change from the establishment. It will then be interesting to see if Europe's citizens have any backbone left, or if they'll be content to fade into history with the rest of western civilization.

PRY said...

I do believe that history repeats itself, and usually that is not a good thing, but in this case, may well be something we can look forward to...looking back at the times that the Senate was held by the GOP, no matter who was in the executive branch, good things such as lower unemployment, and a balanced budget were what we got.

So, in this instance, I hope history DOES repeat itself, even though absolutely everything is against that happening, what with O's promise to veto pretty much anything not destructive to the country!

Geoff King said...

Will congress repeal Øbamacare? Not when the Speaker of the House makes millions off of his investments that are tied to it. Will Republicans stop Øbama's illegal amnesty agenda? Not when their corporate sponsors stand to make billions from the resulting cheap labor. Will they attempt to impeach or at least curtail the power of the most unconstitutional and dictatorial administration in US history? Not when their party could gain the same power in the next presidential election. Will this new congress do anything of value for our country, other than pretend to care what the voters demand and supply nothing but lip service and perhaps an extremely small bone to throw to the masses? Not when they have set themselves up with unbelievably high paying jobs which have no oversight, unlimited benefits, and allow them to only havr to pretend to work for an average of 4 months a year. Why on earth would they ever rock the boat that has set them up for life?
No, they will continue to suck every bit of life out of our once great nation until there is nothing left and then use their great fortunes to retire wherever they choose and live the good life while the rest of us die a slow and painful death. To believe otherwise is both ignorant and delusional.

JustaJeepGuy said...

Jean Francois? You mean JFK Lite? I once heard that he did, in fact, "serve" in Viet Nam. Now, whom he served is open to question.

JustaJeepGuy said...

Oh, BTW, did anyone read what the current head dude of Egypt said about Islam? About how the Islamic world needs to stop the extremists? I'm pretty sure you'd never hear that from Mohammad Morsi. Or for that matter, you wouldn't hear it from Barack Hussein either.

Judi King said...

Whether our PC idiots in DC will say it or not, islam is in a "holy war" against ANYone who doesn't accept their beliefs and they have been for 1400 years since their self proclaimed, false prophet invented his new religion. The quicker this administration and others around the world come to terms with the truth, the quicker they will realize islam needs to be wiped off the face of the earth. A religion of peace? I think not!

Bruce Bleu said...

When I first heard this statement, "The future must not belong to those who slander the Prophet of Islam!", I wondered "why not the same warning about the "prophet" of Mormonism, or Joseph Smith III, or David Berg, or Jim Jones", what is the import of a camel-shagger from the 7th century? The more I learned about lamont's mooselim history, the more I realized that his claim to be a "Christian" is just a "sheep uniform"! The same as trying to imagine Benjamin Netanyahu lauding the value of moHAMmed, is any REAL Christian proclaiming that a FALSE prophet has any value at ALL! The new Covenant and indwelling of the Holy Spirit OBVIATES the need for a "prophet" to those who have entered in to this new relationship, so, any "prophet" after Jesus is extraneous.
Honestly, since the Bible affords NO merit to false prophets, and they offer NO value to the Christian experience, any so-called "Christian" who accepts moHAMmed as a valid "prophet", is either ignorant or a moron... there are no other options.
So, AGAIN, lamont proves that ANY subject is "above his pay grade"!

John the Econ said...

Meanwhile, the brave Progressive media resumes in cover-up mode, basically repeating much of what I said yesterday, and yet effectively blaming westerners and their perceived xenophobia for the problem. From the New York Times:

"Anti-immigrant attitudes have been on the rise in recent years in Europe, propelled in part by a moribund economy and high unemployment, as well as increasing immigration and more porous borders. The growing resentments have lifted the fortunes of established parties like the U.K. Independence Party in Britain and the National Front, as well as lesser-known groups like Patriotic Europeans Against Islamization of the West, which assembled 18,000 marchers in Dresden, Germany, on Monday."

Of course, not mentioned is the disinterest in assimilation or the social unrest they bring and engender. And, of course, what happened yesterday: The outright assassination of "those who slander the Prophet of Islam!"

Yeah, they're still pushing the narrative that it's all our fault for being a bunch of xenophobic monoculuturalist racists. Never mind the fact that until 9-11, few Americans even cared at all about Islam. They only started to get concerned when bombs started going off and airliners were being flown into buildings. And the "backlash" they keep talking about never happened. In fact, the vast majority of mosque burnings are not the work of xenophobic right-winters, but other Muslims enforcing radicalism upon Muslims they deem not radical enough.

(Interestingly, the only left-aligned group that used to be vocally critical of Islam isn't anymore. That would be the feminist alphabets)

But one thing that I know for sure is that those cowards working at the New York Times and the publications that parrot them aren't too worried about meeting the same fate as the staff at Charlie Hebdo. Even if they don't admit it publicly, they've received the message loud and clear.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Bruce- If only you'd said "Surely you are a genius"...

@John the Econ- Oh, I'm not actually expecting much good to come out of the new order in Washington, but I feel like it's too early to write them off yet. I want to see how the dynamics sort themselves out.

Regarding the Charlie Hebdo massacre, I don't have a lot to say right now because I just finished Friday's cartoons and commentary which is about nothing else - and frankly, I'm pretty drained.

But I can certainly agree that the courage we saw from the staff of Charlie Hebdo was rare, and will now be even rarer.

@David in SoCal- I'm not looking for much comfort from B. Hussein regarding Charlie Hebdo. I have genuine questions about which side Barry is rooting for.

@Rod- Very well said.

@Shelly- And by now you probably know that the cop executed on the sidewalk was himself Muslim.

When I think of unarmed police arriving on bicycle to try to stop this horrendous act, I want to weep.

@John the Econ- There's a huge amount of self-righteous bullshit being thrown around right now about freedom of expression by people who clearly don't support it - and yes, Barry would be right at the tippy-top of that list.

If free speech is such a big deal to him, maybe he'd like to explain why his administration hacked into the computer of CBS reporter Sheryl Attkisson, stole and erased material, and planted a classified document on her harddrive where she could never find it - just in case they ever needed an excuse to clap her ass in jail.

I wouldn't say that the Lois Lerner IRS fiasco says much about his dedication to people's free speech rights either.

@It's No Gouda- I'm pretty sure Kerry served in Vietnam. I'm just not so sure who he served.

@Colby Muenster- I agree; Yoho and Gohmert knew they couldn't win, but had the courage to take a stand. They certainly deserve credit for that, and Boehner would do well not to try to punish either them or their supporters.

And you're so right that Boehner is light years better than Pelosi. It's going to be fun seeing how much legislation Boehner and McConnell can start stacking up on Barry's desk.

@Grumpy Curmudgeon- Thanks for sharing. I'd like to say that you just lowered my opinion of Kerry, but I'm afraid that wasn't possible.

@John the Econ- Great summary! Not cheery, but great.

@PRY- Even Bill Clinton allowed some good things to happen when the GOP was holding most of the cards. I won't ever believe that Barry will do the right thing because it is the right thing, but it's just possible that he might do the right thing for his own perceived political benefit in the next couple of years.

Or not.

@Geoff King- Wait, ignorant and delusional? I'll accept one of those charges or the other, but not both at the same time (grin).

No, you're probably right - but I get a perverse thrill from having my hopes dashed regularly.

@JustaJeepGuy- D'oh! I wrote the same gag before reading your response. Great minds, etc, etc.

And no, Barry isn't going to be criticizing any aspect of Islam anytime soon.

@Judi King- I truly hope that there are solutions to radical Islamic terror that are short of anyone wiping out anyone else. That being said, they need to be doing some major housecleaning - and fast.

@Bruce Bleu- As I've said here often before, I don't know that Barry is a Muslim, but I'm pretty damn sure that he's no Christian. I think he sees himself as above faith in anything larger than himself. That being said, I also think he has a deep affection for Islam over other religions.

@John the Econ- Excellent. And I've got nothing to add.

Geoff King said...

If the newly Republican controlled congress really gave a damn about our Constitution, our country, or the wishes of the people; why did they not immediately started impeachment proceedings, or at least force a vote on the many issues - such as Øbamacare or Amnesty - that the majority of voters that put them in office wanted them to deal with? Perhaps they really do not know why they were elected, or perhaps they simply need more time to figure out ways to make a profit off of their legislation, or to concoct new lies to justify their inaction.

Bruce Bleu said...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Bruce- If only you'd said "Surely you are a genius"...

That's completely different... all together!

And, as far as lamont's religious tendencies, you are correct in "voting present" when it comes to making an eternal judgment on whether he is simply the CRAPPIEST Christian who has ever slithered the Earth, BUT, Christians are to be "fruit inspectors", and I dare say, (because of 42 years of being a Christian and DECADES involved in apologetic ministry), that looking at the "fruit" of lamont's life would lead me to be EXTREMELY incredulous of his claim to actually BE an true believer in Christ.

Popular Front said...

Looking beyond this shameful and cowardly atrocity to the 'bigger picture' it is obvious to anyone with a sprinkling of military experience or knowledge that not since the days of Salah-A-Din or Nurradin have the arabs been worth a knob of goat crap on a battlefield, hence their prediliction for backshooting and suicide bombs.

To be sure there have been exceptions, such as the Arab Legion in (then) TransJordan but they were commanded by a very wily Britisher, Sir John Bagot Glubb and officered for the most part by serving British soldiers. They finally got their comeuppance from the Israelis in the fight for Jerusalem in the Six Day War of 67 but by then the British had been dismissed and replaced by locals, with a corresponding plummet in battlefield efficiency.

No, ever since the time of the Crusades the outcome has been the same whenever arab so-called 'soldiers' come up against well-trained and motivated troops - they soil themselves and run away crying, only to reappear later, unarmed to try to ingratiate themselves with the new occupiers.

The Paris atrocity has done world-wide Islam much more harm than good, the revulsion and condemnation loud and strident. Even mealy-mouthed political apologists have been forced to join in the denunciations and about @#$%^&* time too.

Look at the Pakistan school massacre and the disgust, revulsion and rejection that has followed. Pakistan is stringing up their captive terrorists on an industrial production scale, despite the utterly predictable whinings from the UN "we must have more dialogue with moderate muslims". Crap. There ain't no such animal and the only dialogue they'll understand goes 'budda budda budda' out of the nasty end of an M60.

I think a line in the sand is going to be drawn very soon and it WON'T be drawn by our pathetic excuses for political 'leaders'. Nossir, it is going to be drawn and enforced by people, citizens and nations and anyone who tries to prevent it is going to be swept away in the tidal wave that is coming.

In all my thirty years of professional soldiering I have never yet seen anything as clear as this.