Friday, April 22, 2016
The music world was stunned yesterday when Prince, the artist formerly known as "the artist formerly known as Prince," was found dead in an elevator at age 57. The cause of death is thought to have been Muzak poisoning.
No, no - at the time of this writing, we don't know what caused Prince's untimely death, and moreover Hope n' Change is genuinely sorry to see him go. Unlike so many celebrities and musicians these days, he was actually talented and left a lot of good music behind.
Of course, Barack Obama wasted no time whatsoever in eulogizing Prince, declaring "few artists have influenced the sound and trajectory of popular music more distinctly, or touched quite so many people with their talent." Which would have been an excellent place to stop. But noooo- Barry then had to add "a strong spirit transcends rules," which not only summarizes his policy on Executive Orders, but is also expected to be Hillary Clinton's line of defense when she finally gives testimony on her serial acts of criminal misconduct.
On a final note, as of this writing Hope n' Change cannot confirm reports that, just before dying, Prince begged Joe Biden to run for president.
BONUS: PUT IT ON MY BILL
Also in the news, it was announced that Harriet Tubman, a gun-toting former slave (gosh, that 2nd Amendment sure comes in handy sometimes, doesn't it Liberals?) and hero of the Underground Railroad, will be honored by having her portrait put on the $20 bill.
Which is fine with us, although Donald Trump made the no-holds-barred and utterly indecipherable assertion that putting Tubman on the twenty "is very rough" on Andrew Jackson and sneered that this is an act of "pure political correctness" although Harriet Tubman "is fantastic" and she should absolutely be put on our currency.
And no, we have no idea what he's talking about. although in fairness, we're pretty sure that he doesn't either.