Friday, September 30, 2016

Berned Beyond Recognition

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, sanders, old whore, hillary, sell out, hooker, socialist

There are few things sadder in this world than a broken down old whore. Although on the plus side, there are also few things more affordable.

Which is why we assume Hillary Clinton got a great deal when retaining the (ahem) "services for hire" of former presidential candidate, and former Democrat, Bernie Sanders for a stump appearance (so to speak) in which he raspingly touted her candidacy to young voters who currently find her about as appealing as genital warts.

On Wednesday, the curmudgeonly old socialist was thrown onto a stage to ask a university crowd "Are you ready to transform America?!" then declaring Hillary's dust-covered liberal rhetoric and ideas to be "revolutionary!"

Lo, how the mightily annoying are fallen.

Bernie's entire campaign (which is now documented to have been repeatedly and thoroughly screwed by Hillary Clinton and the Democratic National Committee) was based on fighting all the things which Hillary exemplifies: shady dealings with bankers, corruption, entrenched and failed policies, and the further reinforcement of government of the wealthy, for the wealthy, and by the wealthy.

Did Bernie ever have actual integrity on the campaign trail, or was he just a plant to run to the left of Frau Clinton to create the illusion that she was moderate? The question is moot at this point, as he has clearly and unquestionably sold out.

And, we're guessing, at a price that will get you change back from a dollar bill.

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, sanders, old whore, hillary, sell out, hooker, socialist
Yes, we have stock in an eye bleach company.

20 comments:

B Martin said...

Too damned late.

You owe me a seeing eye dog.

Andrew said...

He was never what he portrayed himself to be, a man of the sheeple. He has always been one of the pigs in the academic 'Animal Farm' which he grew up in.

A true socialist would have used the money he spent on a 3rd house to do proper socialist things with, like sponsoring scolarships for 'urban yutes', free vegan food and a drug needle exchange program.

Mike aka Proof said...

Sir! You have maligned poor Bernie Sanders something fierce! I hope he hits you with his bag of quarters!!

Sandy Link said...

He was bought and paid for by the Clintons. Also, he may have feared for his life. I mean, after all, all those that have come before him to speak honestly of the travesties and trail of blood left by the Clinton Mafia, are now dead. Although, I bet she will get votes out of them! I have a writer friend who is now laying low in fear of her life as she wrote a book about the real cause of death of Vice Foster. She was working on a new book, and I was going to work with her on it for editing purposes. I feel that reality slapped me in the face the day she told me of her circumstances. I have no words that I can post on this site to describe the filth that is damning us to a life of sharia law, no more cops, no more military, no more churches, no more pork and Allah becoming our new god of choice. I feel sick. Going to get some soda crackers before I lose it. Keep up the good fight for Hope 'n Change.

James Daily said...

My goodness, Bernie ho'ing, the Bush group ho'ing, many elected Republicans ho'ing,the demorats have always been unconscionable ho's, so I guess that one world government has been ushered in and the ho's are in charge.
I am too old to migrate and too young to die. Guess I'll just support the cheapest ho's and drink MD 20-20 out of a paper sack.

TrickyRicky said...

Wow, what an image. Please excuse any typos, as I am now typing blind. Having got my layoff notice this week, I was hoping to enjoy a nice long and unfettered ski season. Now I will have to join the handicapped program. On the plus side, I'll never have to see Hillary's vile visage again.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of Arkancide, if Trump should happen to win what are the chances that Justice Roberts will survive until the inauguration? While we would all like to know what really happened with the Obamacare decision, there are probably some that would rather us not find out.

Geoff King said...

Between Trump appearing to be a shill for Clinton, Sanders and Bush endorsing her, and Johnson becoming a babbling stoner, I may be forced to vote for "Giant Meteor 2016".
Here, right before the eve of the Black Moon as well as the U.N. takeover of the Internet, I have little hope for the human race and even less for our Republic.

REM1875 said...

And in exchange for selling out .....sorry I meant evolving... the klintoons guaranteed burnie that he, his family, his pets and friends would continue to wake up each morning without having to worry about committing Arkanside with a 12 gauge some time in the darkness of the night.
A deal ya can't refuse.

Mike Porter said...


Bernie epitomizes the progressive condition; having no talent, work ethic nor moral standard, the socialist externalizes all of his own failings upon the prevailing societal structure. His present sorry condition must, must, MUST be the fault of everyone else, as he considers himself to be a naturally greater entity. And in his mind, the only sustainable path to this perceived innate greatness is to drag said structures and everyone within down to a level where 'above the bar' requires only minimal effort and intellect. This is the outlook of the grafter; where those who are not on the take are clearly marks... there is no middle ground, thus no such concept of personal liberty can be tolerated. There are only those who rule and those to be ruled.




Walter1694cir said...

You are just too damn funny! "a broken down old whore?" Which one to describe? Hillary the Harlot has been rode hard and never close up those thunder thighs and Bernie...well with all his liberal credentials would probably "take one" between the nose and chin for whatever reason.

chef621 said...


Grand Slam! Thanks Stilt.

Colby Muenster said...

Question is, will the Millennials and Gen Xers fall for it? Sadly, I expect some of them will, but still betting the hardcore Bernie bobbleheads will hold their ground and vote for nobody. My son is one of those; hates Trump, but hates Shrillary almost as much. Prolly spend election day getting stoned and playing WOW.

Stilton,
PLEASE tell me that second picture is Photoshopped!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@B Martin- And would you like to continue getting Hope n' Change in the Braille edition...?

@Andrew- Exactly. Bernie is an advocate of sharing everyone else's wealth rather than his own. How can he sleep at night, in ANY of his three homes, knowing that others are living on the streets?

@Mike aka Proof- No way he can catch me unless he ditches the high heels.

@Sandy Link- I'm genuinely sorry for your friend. The Vince Foster death stinks on ice. Even by official records, Hillary attacked his so savagely in front of White House staff that he subsequently killed himself (note: the Secret Service records on the case are now conveniently missing). Only it seems there are credible reasons to believe that his death was, at the very least, not as it appeared. If he wasn't murdered, then it's not unlikely he pulled the trigger in the White House and everyone went into cover-up mode.

And don't panic too much about Allah and sharia becoming the ruling factors in America. I don't think actual Americans will allow that to happen.

@James Daily- I believe it was conservative wit PJ O'Rourke who labeled Washington a "Parliament of Whores," which strikes me as being pretty apt.

@Anonymous- Anyone who does a big favor for the Clintons should probably worry about the fact that the second favor they can do for the Clintons is dying unexpectedly.

@Geoff King- Hey, #BlackMoonsMatter. That meteor is starting to sound pretty good, too.

@REM1875- I wish we could all know that the scenario you're describing is only a joke. But we don't.

@Mike Porter- Great and accurate summary of Bernie and his ilk. And I'll add that having failed in his quest for glory, Bernie is doing what a socialist leech must - attaching himself to someone with money (Hillary) for her patronage rather than creating anything on his own.

@Walter1694cir- See, it would be sexist for me to call Hillary an old whore. But when I call Bernie an old whore, it's okay - albeit weird.

@chef621- More than welcome! With Bernie, it's always low hanging fruit to find something funny.

@Colby Muenster- I have no idea how many millenials will buy Bernie's preposterous turnaround. If they have an iota of sense, they'll realize he's completely sold them out. Then again, iotas are harder to come by than they used to be.

And yes, the second picture is Photoshopped. I added the leopard print to his lingerie.

John the Econ said...

Oh Lucy, how right, er, left you are. If there's any upside to this election season, it's that many assumed Democrats are learning just how much contempt the ironically-named Democratic Party has for them. For generations now, the Democrats have assumed that Democratic voters are plain stupid. But only now has it become transparent enough to see exactly how stupid they think their voters really are, and it's not sitting well with many who are actually smarter than your average Democrat activist.

Meanwhile, the Democrats solidify their position as the political party of the very wealthy, and very poor:

Top Earners Back Clinton in Bloomberg Poll After Decades With GOP

"Higher-income voters are narrowly supporting Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton in another sign of how the 2016 presidential race is fracturing traditional voting blocs."

Since FDR, for over a half-century the Democrats presented themselves as the party of the "everyman" and accused the GOP as being only a party of "the rich". The first Clinton administration put an end to that narrative. After all, how many "main street" people do you know who can afford 5-figure or 6-figure fundraising dinners?

The Democrats tried to maintain that meme for an extra quarter century, but today there's no point. The "bitter clingers" and "deplorables" have no place in society anymore, or so openly say today's Democrats who even have contempt for most of their own. Many of Bernie's kids have figured this out.

Shelly said...


We all knew ole Bernie was a fraud. He had a good little run, probably ate up all the attention and in the end made some money, got a third house and so on and so forth. At best he was a thorn in her majesty's side for a little while. He will be but a blip in the annals of history.

@Stilton, thanks for your kind words on Wednesdays' comment section about my hip replacement. Two weeks out and I have been improving rapidly and am now walking with a cane (instead of a walker) like a normal person. No more limp! Yay! It's a pretty drastic thing to do but I was bone on bone and had no choice. I'm surely glad it's in the rearview mirror!









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Anonymous said...

Curmudgeons everywhere dont deserve having any comparison to, or being mentioned in the same paragraph, with the old whore (either of them). Whatsoever... At all... Dammit.

Bobo said...

I'm hoping that a week before elections, "The Bern" says April Fools to Hitlery and tells all who supported him to vote for Trump. Adequate and justifiable payback to her and the dnc for screwing him over

NVRick said...

@Shelly, in these times of universal danger, a cane can be used as a defensive weapon. Even better, find yourself one of those cane swords. Great for one of those "up close and personal" unexpected late night meetings with one of those BLM advocates.

Anonymous said...

Added to that: Hickory axe handles make a reasonable cane, lever, low tarp pole, field marker, etc. and are also decent close-in weapons with practice. They don't require permits. I only have one handy in case the axe breaks. There are 2 ends with different knobs, flat sides & sharper sides. Harder than a bat, they swing faster, jab sharper, easier to hang onto and easier to control. One needs a firearm to do much better; but firearms won't fix a broken axe.