Wednesday, October 5, 2016

When Seconds Count

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, kaine, pence, debate, vice president, biden, clinton, trump, hillary

Wow, what did you think about that VP debate last night between (quick Google search) Tim Kaine and Mike Pence?! No, seriously, what did you think - because as of this writing, it hasn't actually taken place yet. We do, of course, fully intend to record the debate and promise ourselves to watch it for at least a week, after which we'll erase it to make more room on our DVR for episodes of COPS.

Not that we don't take seriously the contest to fill the big, floppy clown shoes of Joe Biden.  Especially since we think there's a greater than usual chance that one of these men will actually ascend to the Presidency sometime within the next 4 years.

Seriously, we wouldn't be surprised to see a President Hillary keel over from an aneurysm while screaming at her Secret Service agents, or a President Trump resign from the job in a fit of petulance after he finds out that he can't actually toss people in jail or have them executed for "thinking bad, bad, very bad, so, so bad things."

Fortunately, as former Governors, both Kaine and Pence have executive experience (unlike the Presidential candidates) and appear to be clinically sane (very unlike the Presidential candidates), so assuming that neither of them actually foams at the mouth during the debate, we're quite possibly looking at a presidential upgrade if either of them is suddenly called to the highest office in the land.

FROM THE VAULT: CLUELESS JOE

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, kaine, pence, debate, vice president, biden, clinton, trump, hillary

28 comments:

Mike aka Proof said...

It would have been impossible beforehand to parody the VP debate. Tim Kaine put in a performance worthy of any second grader badly in need of a nap. Hard to believe a professional politician would act so childish.

Jim G. said...

I'm having psychedelic flashbacks from the 60's....cue the music...
Jefferson Airplane or The Grateful Dead.

I'm having visions of Joe Biden & shotguns, Kaine who proclaims to be a a Catholic & abortions, Hillary, Benghazi & dead Americans, Obama & BLM.

I used to be a Great American.....now I don't know what that means.

Pass the bong Dood. I have weapons and ammo.

Peace out.
Jim G.

James Daily said...

Either one is better than the current nitwit. The debate was a bit lopsided with a two on one wrestling match. It appeared that her reading the suppose questions was the first time she had ever seen them. I am not sure this was suppose to pass for entertainment or news or neither. It certainly was not intellectually enlightening.

REM1875 said...

Obviously Trump is new to politics- it appears Trump picked someone capable to take over from him in an emergency.
And sHrillary has followed the obummer pattern picking someone as a life insurance policy- someone who would cause us to continue praying hard for her good health, fearing what would come after her in an emergency.

REM1875 said...

Jim G
Sorry dude- these are not flashbacks from bad microdot or window pane- this is reality. Hiding in a bong won't help
and what did ya do with the lighter this time? .... Every damn time it is my turn we loose the lighter now...where.....oh yeah.... here it is in my hand...ha ha....you got any munchies?

Anonymous said...

I saw the debate and now have serious questions as to kaine's sanity. From his performance as gov and senator I realized he was incompetent, unserious, and a clone of Sen Warner, but I didn't realize that he was actually running for Kermit Gosnell's position.

He beats Biden by a mile as the the relative you lock in the attic while he's drooling into a shoe.

If Hillary is elected I can guarantee you no one is going to put a hit out on her.

Jon said...

Tim Kaine is a male version of Hillary - - unlikable, uncouth, and (in my humble opinion) unhinged.

Rod said...

@JimG: Your double-post is hilarious; maybe you should take another sort of pass on the bong. But if you watched that entire VP debate, it's fully understandable. And I know how Miss Manners will vote.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- As I'm catching up on how the debate actually went, I'm not surprised that Kaine was rude, argumentative, and a general pain in the rear. Keep in mind, this man used to be the head of the DNC, a job which traditionally goes to the most obnoxious butthole in the entire party. Kaine is Debbie Wasserman-Schultz in drag - although, come to think of it, so is she.

Geoff King said...

I did not watch the debate, as I was deeply involved in watching several episodes of WKRP in Cincinnati on YouTube.
However, I do find it quite ironic that both candidates chose to wear ties of the other candidate's color: Kaine in red, and Pence in blue.

Fred Ciampi said...

Tin Kaine [sic] has a voice that is reminiscent of shrillary. And he is a whinny bi**h. The moderator, once again, was like all the others; a member of the democratic party. I think Mike Pence was interrupted approximately 8,768 times by Timmy AND the moderator. Oh, we have a bumpy road ahead................

Boligat said...

We need to replace the "moderator" with two glass, sound-proof cubicles. Each candidate gets to ask the other a question which then gets answered, followed by a rebuttal. When the candidate is finished s/he presses a button which cuts off his, or her, microphone and passes to the other candidate. Candidates are limited to a total of 30 minutes for the entire debate. When their time is up, their microphone shuts off. When both candidates run out of mike time, the debate is over.

Rod said...

The real news media is not at work, as usual. Pence won the debate about like LSU whipped Missouri (42-7); and most of what's out there this morning is "They each held their ground" and "The needle didn't move". Bullshit. We really have to fix the news media problem.

However, we now know that if Hillary gets elected and dies (somehow, anyhow); we'll still have a big & very irritating mouth in an otherwise empty suit. Pence is the only one of the four and more who presents as being Presidential.

Mike Porter said...


Totally off topic - but doesn't Mike Pence look like he could be an older version of Christian Bale? Needless to say, if I didn't watch the debate, it was for all of the right reasons.

Tots said...

I turned off the debate. It was terrible.

Timmah was a loudmouth interrupting jerk who made Trump looks like a shy flower on the debate stage.

I agree with @Rod that Pence is the only one out of the who group that acts presidential. As far as I know he is also the only one with a fairly clean past.

I told my wife the only hope we have as a country is if Trump is elected and promptly dies after taking the oath of office.

Four years of Shrillary backed up by Timmah is a fate which makes euthanasia appealing.

jlw said...

i tried to watch the debate. i didn't make it through Kaine's first answer. i don't even remember the question, but it had nothing to do with his rambling BS about some girl walking out of school 65 years ago. i turned it off real quickly.

GenEarly said...

Tim Kane is a hardline Marxist-Jesuit, just like the current Poopus. ProgreSSives will continue "Forward" to their ultimate Utopia. I understand sarcasm and humor, but promoting a moral equivalence between Trump and Hilarity is itself a form of nihilistic oblivion of history.
Frau Merkel and Frau Hilarity are on the same page, listed under vaginal tyrants:

https://westernrifleshooters.wordpress.com/2016/10/04/merkel-we-must-crush-the-right-wing-in-the-east/

John the Econ said...

What did I think? I didn't. Having not yet recovered from the mere 30-minutes of exposure to last week's disappointment, I instead chose to binge-watch Last Man Standing. I don't watch allot of scripted TV these days, but I came across this show last year. It's refreshing because it's the most overtly anti-PC show I've seen in ages. Tim Allen plays a straight-conservative gun-owning, hunting, anti Obama/Hillary, business-running man's-man who doesn't hesitate to express his politically incorrect feelings on any given topic. His wife was a geologist who worked for an energy company that does fracking. In this day and age, I have absolutely no idea how this show got made, much less got run on any mainstream media network, much less ABC. (Imagine the pitch meeting where someone suggested making a comedy where it would be the conservative endlessly making fun of Progressives where the protagonists didn't spontaneously combust) Either way, it's one of the very few "comedies" these days where I actually laugh out loud.

So don't ask me what happened last night. At this point, what difference does it make?

Clueless Joe: What's disturbing is that most Democrats still consider Joe the adult in the room. Enough said.

Pete (Detroit) said...

I'll admit, I was tapping the 'mystery mead' (leftovers from a competition I judged last Sat) pretty well, so don't really recall it. They both rambled a bit, Pence less so, and he did eventually get to a point... In all, I agree that Kaine came off like an arrogant frat boy, and Pence a seasoned adult.

Fred Ciampi said...

Well, out of the lot of them I think Pence would make the best president because he has the most executive looking hair.

Rod said...

@Fred: Well if hair will get the needed votes, so be it. Tell ALL the ladies.
This campaign is unreal.

Colby Muenster said...

Granted, I'm biased, but Kaine was a total jerk. His tactic became fairly obvious about 2 minutes into it. Interrupt early, often, loudly, and repeat the same BS over and over.

I guess what really chafed my ass was the multiple times Kaine said Pence couldn't defend Trump's actions. And, when Pence would start the defense, Kaine would interrupt AGAIN! I really wanted Pence to yell, "How can I defend my running mate if you won't shut the f**k up?!"

Sorry to appear sexist, but the moderator was horrible. She was timid and lost control almost immediately. And I really think she was trying to remain sort of unbiased. Hard to tell, though, since she almost couldn't be heard.

I seriously think moderators for these events should have the sound mixer in front of them, then tell the candidates their microphones will be shut off the second their time limit is up, and will remain shut off until it is their turn to speak again. Of course, CNN and NBC debates would not even have the Republican's mic plugged in!

Rod said...

@ Colby: Hear! Hear! Exactly right about the microphone switches, plus discipline in the form of lost time to speak if they continue to misbehave. At a third violation two big goons come out to drag their ass off the stage; and the opposition get all the time.

If this is how Democrats try to negotiate things with other international leaders it explains a lot. They're probably lucky to get back home safely where they can safely boast about what they achieved.

Popular Front said...

Just FYI, the Australian media scored that one as a definite LOSS for Kaine.

pgm1972 said...

That was a debate? I thought I had tuned into the "Guinness Book of World Records" show where the event was to see who could say "But Trump said" the most times. Obviously the winner of THAT contest was Tim (Co)Kaine.

https://s13.postimg.org/vwoeo5ggn/Kaine_but_trump_said.gif

Dan said...

Kaine spent time as a missionary. Jesuit. In Central America. In '80-'81 or so, when the commies were there proselytizing and attempting the subjugation of the people.

I'm Catholic and have found that Jesuits (especially new ones) are highly questionable and I'm suspicious of them. I'm pretty sure the Order was compromised by the commies prior to the '60s and became not soldiers for Christ, but yellow dogs for the Kremlin. Remember Daniel and Philip Berrigan? Also, the person currently holding the title "Pope" is a Jesuit. Not very sure of him. But he was pretty lefty in Argentina.

@Boligat -- I like the idea of sound-proof glass cubicles. But we should be able to pump the air out of them.

@Mike Porter, @Fred Ciampi, @Rod -- Pence reminds me of the Man from Glad (early version, not the puffy-hair version).

And why do these "debates" have audiences?

Colby Muenster said...

@Dan,

I could be mistaken, but my old brain seems to remember Jerry "Moonbeam" Brown claimed to be a Jesuit priest back in the 60's.

And it may be more entertaining to pump the glass cubicles full of lysergic acid diethylamide vapor.

Fred Ciampi said...

Colby, Moonbeam attended the seminary in Santa Clara, CA while his father was AG then Gov of California but quit for some reason or another (long story). When he was gov the first time during the 70s he delayed the spraying of Malathion for the infestation of the Mediterranean Fruit fly for a long enough period of time that the entire agriculture crop of the state was threatened. Then it took massive effort to conquer the fruit fly. I think he felt a kinship to them. The cost was in the tens of billions to farmers.