Sunday, November 14, 2010

Don't Just Scan There, Do Something!

There is good news for an American flying public that was sick of airport security insisting that they take off their shoes, remove their belts, pull off prosthetic legs, and hop into a full-body microwave for naked pictures.

And the good news is that
those will be considered "the good old days" compared to what's being added to the TSA's security procedures: "Enhanced Pat-downs." Specifically, an "enhanced pat-down" means that passengers will be required to submit to a hands-on search of their body, with special attention to the breasts and genitalia.

The flying public is, unsurprisingly, furious about this...especially as the new policy
also applies to children.

The reason for these new measures is quite simple: the best place for terrorists to conceal bombs is where
no one wants or expects to be searched by hand - which is how the Underwear Bomber came close to blowing a jet out of the sky.

But is groping
every man, woman, and child really the smartest way to combat this threat, or is it simply another way of avoiding the use of logical profiling measures to focus on who the most likely terrorists are?

Homeland Security needs to reject political correctness and start treating terror seriously... instead of just a ballgame.



Pete(Detroit) said...

I'm still waiting for 'Nekkid Air' to start - everyone get nude, nothing to fear here. Of course, we'll all be horrified by all the great unwashed masses (and I mean MASSES) flying these days...
But it would sure cut down on security delays

erncas said...

Talk about workplace stress...How about those agents who go to work every night and day to deal with irate travelers who don't want strange hands on their bodies..."How was your day,Josh? Great, I handled 10 babies, 82 little boys and girls, 121 teens, and 576 adults. Their comments ranged from nasty to, "Can we do that again later?"

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

I can think of two reasons I wouldn't want to fly Nekkid Air: First, my body naked is a terrorist act and would subject me to serious prison time and second, I would greatly fear that the seats were not "sanitized for your protection". Do they make clean paper wrappers that large?

Suzy said...

I suppose these guys are gonna have background checks....*rolling eyes*

All this because of the fear of "racial profiling". Sick.

Anonymous said...

This caps it. I will NEVER get on an airliner again--I don't care if they all go broke. If I can't drive there, I ain't goin'. Family emergencies? Send condolences. Business? All close by. Meetings? We have the Internet.

Screw'em all. When people quit traveling, see how many TSA perverts just stand around, then the RIFs can begin...

Hairy Nosed Wombat

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

This post is actually by Suzy which got caught in a technical boo-boo:

Okay I know I just posted....but its bugging me....criminals will ALWAYS find a way to do their crime. Ask the drug smugglers...or people who saved family heirlooms during the holocaust...there are any number of ways to hide things that even these "pat downs" would not be able to find. Unless, of course, you start doing X-rays in the airport.....

What I'm saying is, this isn't going to REALLY stop terrorists...but it just might stop innocent people from flying!!!! Which further hurts the economy....and also increases the chance for highway accidents as well.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Readers- It's almost fun to speculate about flying Nekkid Airways, and the possibility for jokes is nearly endless ("Sir, you need to be in the upright position"). But the reality is that it still wouldn't be enough.

There are already instances of terrorists using bombs which were concealed inside bodily orifices, meaning a trip to airline security could eventually require colonoscopies and gynecological exams.

Not invasive enough? Then consider reports that terrorists are also experimenting with surgically implanted explosives - such as breast implants - which would look like any other implants even when X-rayed.

Clearly, we can't give CAT scans to every passenger, on every flight, every time. We must try to intelligently focus on who is most likely to be a threat, and let the politically incorrect chips fall where they may.

Anonymous said...

I remember the enhanced security right after 9/11. The supposedly random checks at the gate of your belongings and person. I flew once or twice a week for business and rarely saw men being checked and never saw a man of any nationality or race that a blind man could mistake as Arabic or Middle Eastern. What I did see was lots of single moms and blue hared old ladies. this was before they started using women as bombers, before we were worried about American Jihadists and before the shoe and underwear bombers. We were looking for young, middle eastern men, period! They got on the planes untouched.

This P.C. crap has got to end. Our security problem isn't the 99% of regular folks that get harassed and intimidated at the security checks, it's still Middle Eastern terrorists for the most part. The Liberal/Progressive types will scream no matter what we do.

moronpolitics said...

I have often maintained that people would pay a healthy premium for an airline with a couple of air marshalls on EVERY FLIGHT. Now, I see an opening for a "flying club" where an enterprising person sets up a few planes to do the major flights from New York, Atlanta, LA, Chicago, and 5 other destinations. You have to JOIN and be APPROVED to fly. You have to tell them 7 to 10 days in advance or pay additional and ALL flights cost 100 or 200 more than the airlines, plus a yearly fee. With all this HOW MANY OF YOU would join up to avoid this type of crap and be safe and respected while flying. If you make 10 business trips or more a year and hit primarily hubs I think we could use you. Yes, you can be Muslim. Yes, you have to have the brains to understand why we will check you out properly. Without the hand jive.

As for "Nekkid Air" I have written to every news outlet I can find explaining how a womens body is made. Jeff, naked ain't a gonna help. Any woman can hold 20 ounces of C4 INTERNALLY comfortably and since it can be shaped appropriately you can pat her labia, she can ride a POGO STICK onto the plane and you will never know.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Moronpolitics- We'd never really thought of naked terror women on pogo sticks before...and now we can't stop thinking of it!

My Dog Brewski said...

They may be comfortable but will they be happy?