Monday, March 28, 2011

Victory Speech



Tonight, our nation will once again be gifted with a speech made by the greatest orator since the dawn of time. Barack Hussein Obama has deigned to give Americans a hint of insight into why he went to war with Libya and, since he declared that the operation would take only "days, not weeks" over a week ago...how he won the war.

Publishers of history books have surely stopped the presses, waiting for Mr. Obama's inspirational words. Because in times of great crisis, this man...this great thinker...has shown over and over again that he can magically and poetically capture the very essence of any issue, armed with nothing but a team of speech writers and a bank of teleprompters.

Who among us can forget his famous "Speech on race," in which Mr. Obama balmed our nation's racial wounds by declaring that his own grandmother, a "typical white person," was uncomfortable around black men...making her a racist. And in that same speech, Mr. Obama declared that he could no more disown the racist Reverend Jeremiah Wright than he would his racist grandmother, which brought healing tears to the eyes of every racist in the country, secure in the knowledge that Obama loved them unconditionally, whether they changed their ways or not.

Similarly, words did not fail Barack Hussein Obama when he first toured the world as alleged president and repeatedly declared that America, until his takeover, had "shown arrogance and been dismissive, even derisive" to her allies. And we're pretty sure he's subsequently changed that dismissive, derisive arrogant attitude toward our allies, but we can't check it out with the UK or Israel because they're not talking to us anymore.

One thing for sure, though, the parts of his speech crediting Islam for all good things in modern civilization
certainly struck a responsive chord...and it's safe to say that the Muslim world (not to mention the Muslim Brotherhood) has never glowed with greater ambition and self-esteem!

And so we look forward to Mr. Obama's uplifting victory speech tonight, in which he'll explain exactly how he was able to wrap up America's "kinetic military involvement" in Libya so quickly and efficiently.

It will surely be a "teachable moment" for all of us.


---------

A special "Hope n' Change" thanks to Michael Ramirez, the world's greatest political cartoonist, for the "Mission Accomplished" banner used in today's cartoon!
-
-

16 comments:

Jim Hlavac said...

Is he back from Brazil already?

Does he know where Libya is? Can he spell Qadaffi, Khadafi, Ghadafi, Gadahfi, Gaddaphi, Khadaphi -- how many others? When the world can't spell a man's name the same, how can they can rid of him? How will he pronounce the name tonight? With Arabic aplomb or English disdain?

Does he know "The shores of Tripoli"? Has he heard of the Mahgreb, the Gulf of Sidra, and Berbers, and Tuaregs?

Or does he think the last is an electric hybrid from Volkwagen, whose progenitor he might admire? What does "community organizer" teach about such geopolitical things?

What can one learn on a golf course or at Ipanema. Or am I being too harsh on the man?

And since he's an expert at "bullying," too, I ask -- does bombing an errant dictator's home town and military constitute bullying? Inquiring minds want to know.

Chuck said...

I'd love to watch his pontification, but there's a re-run of Andy Griffith on that I have planned to watch instead. Maybe next time.

Pete(Detroit) said...

The great tragedy is that not only does HE believe his own BS, but 30 - 40% of eligible voters do as well...

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

Clean, articulate and with well-creased pants. All the things we want in the leader of the free world. (actual leadership not included)

robert said...

As someone else pointed out recently concerning the last speech the teleprompter gave, I will lose all interest when it becomes apparent that he is not going to resign...

robert said...

@ Detroit Pete, a certain percentage of those "eligible" voters are dead, or they're cartoon charactors and the like. Which is appropriate because it seems we elected a cartoon charactor of sorts. But not the Superman kind. I forget his name but more like the buzzard who sings "I'm a little baby bumble bee..." Who is that charactor by the way?
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

pryorguy said...

yes, he is realllly getting tiresome, him and his stupic nuanced talks...give me a break!!!

John the Econ said...

I hear that his "war speech" will not be given from the Oval Office, so it really won't be a "war speech". (Only speeches on "important" topics are given from the Oval Office.

Anonymous said...

When will he announce that he needs "more time" to finish sculpting American Society to his design? Will we go through the charade of an election in 2012? Surely, but 2016? Will we see Michelle move into the seat or what? Chicago didn't give him tenure, but America.... I suspect they will.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Chuck- It's never easy to choose between watching The King of The Free World or Floyd the Barber. But I think you're making the right call.

@John the Econ- No, apparently this isn't an "important" war. And to lighten the mood, Mr. Obama will begin his speech with a special "shout out to Dr. Joe Medicine Crow," as he did with his announcement about the Fort Hood massacre. It's always good to warm up the crowd with a joke, right?

Colby_Muenster said...

Thank GOD for Andy Griffith! Hell, I'd rather suffer through re-runs of "Saved by the Bell" than watch even one second of Pharaoh Mutt-Uncommon.

Stilt, I hate to say it, but you're going to have to take another one for the team. We will send money, we will send booze, hell, we will even send valium; just please don't make us watch!

And, I'm with Jim. I was a lot happier when the little socialist was in some other country.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby_Muenster- Yes, I'll probably have to watch the alleged speech. (insert expletive here)

Afterwards, I'll try to cheer myself back up by watching Andy, Barney and Opie trying to eat 8 quarts of Aunt Bea's pickles.

Suzy said...

Last speech my husband was flipping channels...he paused on the speech channel...and suddenly my hair stood on end and my hands started to clench and I yelled "AAARRRGGGH! Turn it! Turn it!" Obama is like nails on a chalkboard for me, and Michelle isn't much better.

I love Andy Griffith. But I'd even watch the Three Stooges....which show I personally cannot stand...before I'd watch five minutes of the ONE stooge giving his alleged speech.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Suzy- If it weren't for my sworn duty (trust me, I swear all the time) to the readers of "Hope n' Change," I'd definitely prefer to spend time with Moe, Larry, and Curly tonight.

Especially since a Whitehouse spokesperson has just said that, regarding Libya, "we don't make decisions based on precedent or consistency"...so I'm expecting we'll all need hip-waders this evening.

Coffeypot said...

A gifted orator??? I think not. He speaks what he reads clearly but pauses at every period. Waiting for the applause I guess.

Holden McGRoin said...

The Kenyan bastard's mastery of bollixed-up euphemism is always good for a smirk or two; what with his 'man made disasters' and such, I expect he will refer to Lincoln's assassination as a 'ballistically enhanced cancellation of official's remainder of term"