Tuesday, May 10, 2011

But Wait! There's Moore!



Alleged filmmaker and human landfill Michael Moore has taken to the airwaves to scold America for it's handling of the "execution" of Osama bin Laden, and what he views as an unseemly display of enthusiasm afterwards.

According to Moore, "A lot of people say what would Jesus do? I don't think Jesus would go down to Ground Zero like a lot of people did on Saturday night with champagne and pop corks and have a party." And Moore knows what he's talking about, because he's never seen in public without his WWJHFD bracelet ("What Would Jesus Have For Dessert?").


Moore strongly believes that rather than kinetically ventilating Osama bin Laden, we should have escorted him to a helicopter along with his dialysis machines, VCR, and maybe a wife or two to eventually stand trial in New York... and he also declares that
New Yorkers are "wusses" for fearing such a move could provoke another devastating terrorist attack.

Which, apparently, is what he thinks Jesus would say to the thousands of people who lost friends and family on 9/11.


Before ordering another piece of pie.

-

27 comments:

James said...

A lot of people - and not just liberals, although they are spearheading the movement - have espoused this point of view, actually. I think they're rather missing the point. It's not just that I'm happy that Bin Laden got shot in the face - I'm happy about what that shot meant. The world is a little bit safer, and that's something worth celebrating.

James said...

Oh, and of course, Michael Moore is awful etc etc etc. He should be on here more.

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

I think it's absolutely precious that Michael Moore believes his opinion means anything outside his own empty, ugly, porcine skull.

robert said...

Michael Moore is a perfect example of the old saying that "Some people are alive simply because it is illegal to kill them"
I'm not advocating murder or any kind of criminal activity, I'm just sayin....
He serves no useful purpose what-so-ever. He's just takin' up our air. And, evidently, a shitload of food.

Anonymous said...

As a walrus fan, I must say that this cartoon is an insult to walruses. It also irritates me how "progressives" will selectively quote Jesus to defend murderers, mooks, and chickensh!ts in general yet somehow believe that their victims brought it upon themselves.

My Dog Brewski said...

Anonymous:
Good point. Suffice to say that Michael will someday meet Jesus, his reference of convenience, and there will be a lot of "splainin" to do.

Jim Hlavac said...

I think Jesus would slap the pie out of Moore's hands and talk about the sins of gluttony and hypocrisy. Then He'd move on to "don't bear false witness." Then He might point out the difference between wanton slaughter and self-defense. Not to mention an "eye for 6,000 eyes."

Besides, Osama thought he was a sort of Jesus like guy, come to save the world. So we rendered unto him what was his. And we did cast out the demon, too.

Earl said...

kinetic ventilation - love it. That's tee shirt material.

John the Econ said...

Am I the only one to catch the irony that it was Obama and Holder who made shooting OBL the only possible option available?

Had Bush been President, OBL would certainly have been taken alive and transported to Guantanamo to stand before a military tribunal. Unfortunately, Obama & Holder's promise of civilian trials and complete legal and political mishandling of the entire situation, taking OBL alive became politically and probably legally impossible.

So it literally was Obama that was responsible for the killing of OBL. Sorry liberals.

Doktor Paulie said...

Gnome Chompsky was making similar statements. These lefty cranks are SO predictable! Pretty sure Jim H is right about what Jesus would do, for starts, to MM. Jesus preached about peace, love, and joy, but also about truth, righteousness, justice, and judgment. None of which either Chompsky, Moore, or their fans know about, yet. In contrast, UBL is now intimately acquainted with the final four on that list.

Rick said...

OK there are 2 things wrong with your cartoon. 1)You should have used "Pizza the Hut" from Spaceballs instead of a poor innocent and not large enough Walrus. 2)You should have explained that it isn't Jesus the God/Man Savior of the Word that Moore-on is speaking of but Jesus (Hazoose)his under paid Hispanic Surf Gardner and when Jesus his Gardner told him to "Go stuff yourself!" Moore-on misunderstood the meaning of the phrase.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Fun comments today! Before anything else, let me officially state that I did not intend to insult walruses with today's cartoon. The walrus is a proud and noble creature and, after being encouraged with a drink or two, can do a hilarious impression of Wilford Brimley at parties.

As John the Econ points out, the actions of Obama and Holder in the previous two years made it impossible to take Osama alive. We couldn't take him to Gitmo or anywhere else. And imagine the spectacle of the evidence against Osama being thrown out by a judge because it was obtained "illegally."

Imagine Osama's fate (and that of our war on terror) being decided by a bunch of effing morons like those who served on the OJ jury.

Personally, I would have liked Osama captured alive so he could be waterboarded for everything he knew, after which we should have continued waterboarding until the Earth ran out of water. But the "gutsy" president couldn't let that happen.

As far as Michael Moore himself, I'm deeply offended by his reference to Jesus and I'm not even a churchgoer. Moore's authority on biblical matters is highly questionable: he believes the parable of the Loaves and Fishes means every meal should take place at an "all you can eat" buffet.

Jim Hlavac said...

Oh yah, I'm sure Jesus (the both of them, He and the gardener,) would tell Moore to give away all his wealth as alms to the poor and go walk and preach peace among the people. He might lose a few pounds along the way. And besides, a rich fat man can pass through the eye of a needle easier than he can get to heaven. And Jesus never hung out with rich fat men, so I'm not sure how Moore could get the Good Word anyway. The man just bothers me.

And "wusses"? NYer's are wusses? Is the man nuts? The fat man wouldn't last a day in NY.

Earl said...

Reading about Norm Chomsky in today's WSJ, I didn't realize that bin Laden sang his praises over and over again. Or that Arab bookstores are well-stocked with his idiocy. Nice photo of him wearing his gimme cap a la Moore. (It was a gift from Hezbollah - really.)

Jim said...

I thought it was Rosie O'Donnell...
They do look alike too...
maybe they are the same person!

Oops, there goes my breakfast! Sorry, that was a disgusting thought!

Pete(Detroit) said...

Ok, I got nothing. When Moore quits breathing my air, I'll party for the sheer joy of that as well.

John the Econ said...

I am always amused when atheistic liberals start blurting out what they think Jesus would think. I'm never quite sure who they are trying to convince of what. I guess they arrogantly assume that most Christians are as clueless about Christ as they are.

pryorguy said...

What we have here today with this kind of t hinking by folks like Moore, is exactly a big part of what is wrong with this country! Sounds kinda redundant to say that, but Im not sure everyone is aware of that yet!

Colby said...

John the Econ,

Spot on! Michael Moore is invoking the name of Jesus tongue in cheek (he is obviously NOT a true believer), but probably still thinks he can somehow sway us right wingers by using the Savior's name.

How about this, Mr. Moore? What would Jesus say about the millions of babies that have been brutally murdered by low-lifes like you, all in the name of the "mother's rights?" You hypocritical asshole....

What would Jesus say about the packs of lies you so conveniently call "documentaries?"

Mr. Moore, if this country sucks so badly, please feel free to move to your beloved Cuba.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby- Moore can't move to Cuba, because of the danger (as so eloquently expressed by Democrat Congressman Hank Johnson) that the island "might tip over and capsize."

Pete(Detroit) said...

LOL Stilt!
Thinking on it, I wonder what Moore's "cap size" *is*, anyway? 10 pc? 15pc? Jumbo Bucket?

Anonymous said...

When I read the "kinetically ventilating" part,I spit out some of my afterwork beer. Keep up the good work while I wash my monitor.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous- As much as I hate to hear that a mouthful of beer has been wasted (or a computer monitor), I appreciate your enthusiasm!

JustaJeepGuy said...

Michael Moore couldn't move to Cuba. The Castros wouldn't want to have to share their food.

moronpolitics said...

Make fun of Mikie Moore and hate the sicko lefties all you want, but it will be the tea party purists, the I'm more right that you are radio whacko's, the Rusty's and the Miss In-gra-hams and the Ann-orexic Coulters screaming about Rino's and amnesty shamnesty that will end up giving us 4 more years of the current I-cant-even-say-it-for-fear-of-arrest-i-loathe-the-creep-so-much.... Remember boys and girls that in 2008 we elected a light colored T*rd from the left side of the bowl, gave him massive majorities in both houses and he will now appoint the SCOTUS that dominates the next CENTURY, but Rusty, Ingraham, Rush, Hannity, and every other of them had THEIR job the next day -- in fact will make MORE money this four years than the last. THINK about it if you remember how. Just joking. Just tune in for your clever saying to repeat at the office tomorrow.

Rick said...

moronpolitics - with gas being $5.00 a gal. in 2012, you demoncraps couldn't win a son-of-the-year contest even if your mother and grand-mother were the only judges. Unless Obama creates a way of running cars on Sasquatch Farts and then farms out his wife as the newest bio-fuel producer, you demoncraps will all be on the unemployment line that your pseudo-god Obama created. To bad there will be no money left in the fund so I guess you will all starve and be removed from the Gene-Pool. Good news for America but bad news for you.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Rick- As much as I enjoy (and identify with) your bareknuckled assault on all things Democrat, I need to point out that Mr. Moronpolitics isn't among their number. He's a dyed-in-the-wool conservative.

But he's accurately pointing out that the surest way for Obama to win in 2012 is if a schism develops between the hardest of hardcore Tea Party types, and the more moderate Republicans. And if we become too inflexible to work with one another, we're going to be in trouble.

Case in point: Gallup just released a poll saying how many on the Right would like to see a new, third political party created. And Gallup is reporting that because it's exactly what they'd like to see happen, so our votes get split at election time.

I'd also like to point out that this is exactly what Rush Limbaugh is warning against (I'm not sure about the other pundits Moronpolitics listed), so he's still solidly on my "good guy" list.