Monday, July 25, 2011

Taking Out The Trash



Once again demonstrating his flair for androgyny, Barack "Eat Your Peas" Obama came to the Whitehouse briefing room in a snit this weekend, and huffed that Johnny Boehner "won't return my calls" and complained that he had been "left at the altar" again. The president then burst into tears and scurried to the Whitehouse kitchen to drown his sorrows in Ben & Jerry's Liberal ice cream.

Basically, John Boehner simply decided he couldn't waste any more time "negotiating" with a man who he characterized as being "like jello" - wobbly and insubstantial on his best days, and a melted pool of slime on the others. The breaking point came when Obama took an already agreed-upon figure for revenue hikes...and suddenly demanded $400 billion more in taxes, knowing that Boehner couldn't (and shouldn't) accept it.

It was at this point that Boehner finally had to acknowledge that this president doesn't want a deal at all, but has only been trying to run out the clock to A) cause a financial disaster for America and B) try to blame it on the Republicans. Which would be a win-win for the anti-American in the Whitehouse.

As a result, Boehner is now negotiating
only with the leaders of Congress, and has told Barack Obama “As I read the Constitution, the Congress writes the laws and you get to decide what you want to sign.” Which would, of course, also apply to the horse the president rode in on.

Notably, the one thing the president has sworn NOT to sign is any short-term debt ceiling increase which would
avert fiscal disaster for our entire country, but be an embarrassment to the president's re-election bid. Which prompted a clearly frustrated Boehner to observe that it's time for the president to stop thinking of the next election, and start thinking about America.

Considering his dangerously skewed priorities,
Hope n' Change thinks we know why Obama has been "left at the altar again."

Because he's not a
leader...he's Bridezilla.


Some debt old, some debt new, some 17 trillion borrowed...and someone blue.
-

28 comments:

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

Even if they share an agenda, how can the media look at the petulance and incompetence of this arrogant ass and not be aghast. Oh, that's right...they can't speak with their mouth's full.

glorsplitz said...

Now Mr. Jarlsberg... President Nine To Five really is starting to get serious about meeting his own artificial debt deadline. You may wish to hold your jaw with your hand so it doesn't hit the floor but he actually worked on a weekend (no word if he charged time and a half). Not only that, he did the unthinkable: he canceled one of his more than weekly fund raisers. http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0711/59393.html

Suzy said...

Somebody needs to put the Prez on Ritalin. That's what they do these days to naughty children that do not act right in public and do not play well with others.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Angry Hoosier Dad- I'm amazed by the media's inability and unwillingness to call Obama on his incompetence, petulance, and mendacity. Or even call him an asshole, which pretty much incorporates all of the above.

@glorsplitz- Technically the article didn't say he worked over the weekend, just that he cancelled a big fundraising shindig to be thrown by a rich Hollywood type. Apparently the "optics" wouldn't have been very good, as it would make it seem like the president would rather cavort with his wealthy fluffers than worry about taxpayers.

@Suzy- Not a bad idea. Maybe give him a dose of Dimetapp too, so he can take a nap and let the grownups get their work done.

Anonymous said...

I just copied and pasted this on ThinkProgress on a thread where they're bashing the Republicans for "blocking" negotiations. Oh, man.... This is gonna' be GREAT!!! (hope you don't mind, Stilt...)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous- Fine with me! Maybe they'll actually learn something. Or...um...not.

John the Econ said...

This race is getting too close to call. Oh, not the 2012 election, but the race against the clock.

As I've said before, it's always been my suspicion that the Marxists genuinely want a complete economic collapse so that they can jump in and replace what is left of America's private and free market with a new, improved and "socially just" economy. As it becomes more and more clear that Obama is going to be a one-termer, that means that he's got but 18 months left to finish us off.

What other possible explanation can there be for his behavior?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- Their strategy isn't complicated. "Never waste a good crisis," and "If there isn't a crisis, then create one."

Pete(Detroit) said...

I certainly hope the R's don't "waste" this crisis, and manage to screw the President to a budget we can live w/ ..

Colby said...

How about this plan, Mr. Speaker....

Give the big baby his freaking trillion dollar tax hike, but add verbiage that requires him, Harry Greed, Bawney Fwank, Dick Turban, Joe BiteMe, Nancy Pillosi, and any other socialist they can think of to tender their immediate resignations. Seems like a fair trade to me! Most of the people I know would gladly fork over some more taxes just to get rid of them for good.

Hey, I can dream, can't I?

John the Econ said...

@Pete, I have little doubt the GOP will blow it like they usually do. They're gutless, because they always fear that if they don't go along to some degree with the Progressives, that they'll be get targeted as wanting to starve granny, kill welfare babies, kick puppies and club baby harp seals.

What these boobs never seem to realize is that no matter what position they take, sooner or later when they go up against a Democrat they're going to get labeled as such anyway!

Reagan understood this. The media labeled him as the "Teflon President" because they thought he could get away with anything. But in ironic reality, he was the Teflon President because it was the media's endless attempts to smear him that would not stick.

You'd think more Republicans would wake up and take his example instead of their enemies in the media. Come on guys! Man-up for yourselves. Man-up for the country!

Doktor Paulie said...

I WAS againstg any new taxes until I read @Colby's plan...

Pete(Detroit) said...

John - there you go, thinking again..

Bruce In KC said...

I want to offer up an amendment to @Colby's plan, and it is this: After said political hacks are forced to resign they will be frog marched to either Cape Canaveral or Vandenberg AFB, whichever facility is closer at time of said resignation, and loaded aboard whatever launcher happens to be on the pad. They shall be herewith fired into orbit. Getting back is their problem, since they let the Space Shuttle retire after canceling the follow-on program.

SC said...

I love the dress, looks like it may well be worth a trillion or so. What no veil? They are usually transparent, no matter, we can see right through Obama anyway.

Doktor Paulie said...

II'm beginning to get peeved enough over the whole situation that I feel that I may need to jump out of a perfectly good airplane again just to regain my equanimity. In fact, I think we should organize a Mass Hope N' Change Bailout where we all jump at once in a mass jump over Washington D.C., as a protest against the political, to say nothing of socialist, insanity. If we all jump naked, even the left-wing media cannot fail to cover the event. As an evangelical Christian, I am not supposed to say such things, but it's just the truth.

Geronimo!

Chuck said...

@Doktor Paulie - If I thought it would make a difference ... I'd join the jump! And I am a confirmed wuffo, as in "wuffo you wanna jump out of a perfectly good airplane for?" I spent 3 years in the ONLY leg unit on Fort Bragg in the early 80's! But, yes, if I thought it would make a difference ... I'd jump!

Full disclosure: easy statement to make since I know it wouldn't make any difference at all ... unless I jumped naked, in which case my new residence would be where the current "leadership" of this country ought to be!

Doktor Paulie said...

PS: I saw an event like I'm suggesting once on German TV when I was in Hamburg working on my PhD. It was definitely startling, to the point where my glasses shattered on my face.

If we do this, the Democrats, or possibly the Republicans, maybe even BOTH, cannot help but give up in helpless confusion. Or something.

Doktor Paulie said...

@Chuck: there's only one way for us to find out if it will work. Bend that straight leg and join The Mass Jump for Liberty!

Even if it doesn't work we'll sure scare and/or annoy an awful lot of people.

Pete(Detroit) said...

I can just imagine the effect of 100mph wind at 40 degrees on the delicate bits. Can anyone say "Shrinkage"?
For a teaser, watch this ad for a Danish appliance superstore - apparently, 80% of the stores are w/in 5 miles of the German border, as German taxation makes it cheaper to go out country to buy major appliances...
DEFINITELY not work (or spouse?) safe..

http://disembedded.wordpress.com/2009/09/24/nude-skydive-topless-women-plummeting-faster-than-the-economy/

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Well, if Obama gets his way we'll all be engaging in a LOT of naked activities...and probably jumping off of high places. I just watched his primetime speech, and believe that he's set a new "personal best" for lying and partisanship.

As far as a naked Hope n' Change parachute drop, I'm still not keen on jumping...but I can't imagine that being naked would make it any worse. I came into the world that way, and might as well leave it in the same fashion. (By the way, if a naked jumper's bladder lets go, does it leave a vapor trail? That might actually be kind of cool.)

@Pete(Detroit)- I checked out your link, and just want to remind you that when it comes to nudity Hope n' Change has a strict policy of encouragement.

LLoyd said...

Stilton----100 + I cracked up on each and every one of them. Talk about 'talent on loan from Gawd.'
You got it!!!!!
Bahahahhahahahahahahahahahhhahaahahaaaa

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Lloyd- Thank you, sir! The "Top Ten" lists are always fun to write.

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

Doktor Paulie:
I'd be honored to jump with you, but I won't jump naked. There are some things even God doesn't want to see. The closest I'll get is shorts and sandals and a T-shirt. Don't want my moobs flopping at 120 MPH vertical.

Doktor Paulie said...

Excellent thoughts and ideas from all on the Hope N Change Bailout! Unfortunately, @AHD is right about the moobs flopping. Even fully dressed, my cheeks (the ones on my HEAD) flop badly at 120+, causing me to resemble the world's fastest hamster. Have to rethink my glorious vision. Hmmm... But there's GOT to be a way!

Pete(Detroit) said...

Stilt - Glad to be of service...

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Sorry to weigh in late, but not raising the debt ceiling would hardly be a "financial disaster" to America. There is plenty of money coming in to pay the "bills on the books" and service the debt - it simply would mean the bozos in DC would have to PRIORITIZE how they're paid, and employ PLANNING, FORETHOUGHT, and RESPONSIBLE DECISION MAKING. I know, I know. Hard to expect from them thar, based on their collective track record.

Of course, the Demon In Chief will want to politicize things, making sure that the SEIU, Planned Parethood and others like them get paid first, and that SS recipients, servicepeople, etc. are on the bottom of the list - but I hardly expect that to happen. He's just looking for a convenient "crisis" to be created (in our minds via the media...) that he can "take advantage of".

I say: let the damned clock run out, and lets see what happens...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Emmentaler- I'm also in the "let the damned clock run out" camp. We could unquestionably pay the bills that must be paid, and would then need to make huge cuts in government payrolls.

Recently, Barack Obama noted that this same phenomenon has occurred in the private job market, with companies learning to do more with fewer employees. But oddly, he didn't call that a disaster... he called it "efficiency."

On a side note, I don't want America's credit rating downgraded...but frankly, if it isn't downgraded soon (no matter WHAT happens with the debt ceiling) I think it will be the credit agencies that lose credibility. At this moment in time, America deserves exactly the same credit rating as Bernie Madoff.