Friday, February 24, 2012

Book 'em, Obamo!



Following days of angry protests and bloody street violence in Vatican City, Barack Obama humbly apologized to the Pope and said it was never his administration's intention to dishonor the holy book of Catholics and that he would be implenting harsh punishments for anyone in his chain of command found responsible.

Just kidding! As we all know, last week Barack Obama
actually told the Pope, disgruntled Catholics, and supporters of Constitutional freedom of religion to take a flying f*ck at a rolling doughnut.

Which is why it seems such a startling contrast to see the president making multiple apologies to screaming, violent Islamists for an incident in which military personnel in Afghanistan mistakenly burned a few copies of the Koran. Suddenly, this guy is
Mister Religious Sensitivity.

And while there's nothing wrong with an initial apology,
Hope n' Change is pretty unhappy about the fact that Obama is continuing to make apologies even after multiple people, including two US service members, have been killed in brutal anti-American violence.

Analysts fear that Obama's continuing apologies are actually serving to make the violence worse by reaffirming that the incident was a big deal, while simultaneously showing weakness instead of resolve when our troops are
attacked and murdered.

But of course, even though Obama is still sending out his emissaries to attack the Catholic Church (including Nancy Pelosi, who is telling Catholics to ignore the Pope and instead pray for Obamacare), we never really expected him to stand up to radical Islamists.

After all, if he considers the Islamic call to prayer to be one of the
prettiest sounds on Earth, he probably also enjoys the sweet sound of anti-American riots.


No word yet on whether they'll accept free condoms and morning-after pills instead.
-

27 comments:

TheOldMan said...

Would they accept an incoming ICBM?

Coon Tasty said...

"A duck!"

(Thanks, SJ: you managed to incorporate a line from my favourite comedy into a joke about Muslims. Well played, sir, well played.)

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

If we can avoid nominating McCain version 2.0 we can look forward to telling Turdboy to take an aerial intercouse in a motivated, perforated pastry this November.
Now wouldn't that be sweet?

Colby said...

AHD - dang, you stole my thunder, but we used to call it a "rotating" perforated pastry.

Shrubbery!!!! I love it! Ni... ni, ni...

And, along the lines of things that make your head explode, Brainiac Obama is now proclaiming that the way out of these high gas prices is to drill, drill, drill!! GAAAA!! Please, somebody send me liquor, and lots of it!

Awesome post today, Dr. J. as usual.

Colby said...

Oops... hit post before finishing.

Old Man, I see BM too, and it's occupying the White house.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Song for today: Q'ran ran ran ran Q'ran ran ran

The Gitmo detainees defaced all their books
Q'ran ran ran ran Q'ran ran ran
The soldiers saw their notes and gave them dirty looks
Q'ran ran ran ran Q'ran ran ran

Yeah, they gave them dirty looks
A sin to write upon those silly books
The task to sanctify they undertook
Q'ran ran ran ran Q'ran ran ran

Their intent to honor them but not provoke
Q'ran ran ran ran Q'ran ran ran
A pile of defaced Q'rans went up in smoke
Q'ran ran ran ran Q'ran ran ran

Imams' hearts stood still
Americans, they had to kill
Our soldiers blood they did spill
Q'ran ran ran ran Q'ran ran ran

The Moos-lum in Chief, he did apologize
Q'ran ran ran ran Q'ran ran ran
And threatened to prosecute all our guys
Q'ran ran ran ran Q'ran ran ran

The peaceful arabs he inflamed
The stupid fool should be ashamed
But our system he's fully gamed
Q'ran ran ran ran Q'ran ran ran

For me November cannot come soon enough
Q'ran ran ran ran Q'ran ran ran
We need someone these people will see as tough
Q'ran ran ran ran Q'ran ran ran

It's time to rid of us of this scourge
Radicals, we all must purge
lest we sing our funeral dirge
Q'ran ran ran ran Q'ran ran ran

With quite a bit of creative license and Obama-like apologies to Phil Spector, Jeff Barry Ellie Greenwich and the Crystals.M

Pete(Detroit) said...

Emmentaller - Very Nice!

So, just out of curiosity *is* the "approved method" for disposing of a defaced Koran?

John the Econ said...

Of course, when Obama apologizes so somebody, it's not for the benefit of the somebody that has supposedly been "offended", but for his chorus of brainless leftists who actually think this kabuki theater actually matters.

The reality is that this is all just another an excuse for the Mullahs and the liberals in the media to get people mad at "the great Satan" and to keep our nationalistic self-esteem under control. If it wasn't this, it would certainly be something else.

@Pete(Detroit), I think you already know the answer.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Pete: Can't speak for those who would happily see the likes of me splattered upon some wall somewhere, but, typically, "holy" things are to be, ahem, burned. Where our military may have erred is that the ashes of those items are still considered holy, and must not be simply thrown out in the trash. Typically, it is the role of the clergy, whatever form they take, to do the deed and treat the ashes as their faith mandates.

Per that glowing religion of "peace", I can find only the following three methods:

Wrap it in a piece of cloth or "something pure" and burying it respectfully in a place where people normally do not walk upon.

Weigh it down and toss it (respectfully, of course! Wouldn't want to inflame any imams!) into flowing water.

Remove the names of muhammed, his messengers (I guess their names aren't really RPG and AK47 as I formerly thought) and his "angels", and then burn it.

So, though burning is one method, I s'pose they didn't expunge the required names. Question I'm left with is whether or not flushing them down the toilet satisfies the disposal in running water requirement?

elcedar said...

To the Afghani's ... I fart in your general direction, and wave my private parts at your aunties.

As for Obowmore ... I blow my nose in your direction you silly king.

As more and more blood and treasure are wasted on people who have no concept of civilization, one must wonder what the goal of the war is?

I recall, about 10 years ago, that someone suggested we "bomb Afghanistan back to the Stone Age" ... the response from one of my military friends who was deploying was as follows: "it would be a complete waste of ordnance ... they are already living in the Stone Age."

We obviously learned nothing from the Russian experience in Afghanistan ... they learned a long and painful lesson writ large in the blood of their soldiers ... and now we are doing the same.

Bring the troops home, no more "Rules of Engagement" that prevent us from winning a conflict. The Neo-Cons and the Liberals both seem to love wasting the lives of our military. I'm sick to death of leaders who are unwilling to shed their own blood.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@TheOldMan- Or, to show our sensitivity, send them a huge crate of replacement Korans...and drop the crate on them from about 30,000 feet.

@Coon Tasty- I wasn't sure if enough people would get the "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" reference, but went for it anyway. Glad you liked it!

@Angry Hoosier Dad- Choosing just the right words makes everything sound so much nicer.

@Colby- It seems like in the past 24 hours, I've heard Obama say that drilling is not a significant factor in the price of gasoline...and that he now wants to do a lot more drilling. Hey, consistency is only important when you're talking to an audience that can remember what you said 15 minutes ago. And Obama knows that his supporters all have the same cognitive condition as the main character in "Memento."

@Emmentaler- Well done! Plus, I can hear it being performed with that Phil Spector "Wall of Sound" in my head.

@Pete(Detroit)- According to all of the research I felt like doing (not much), the approved methods for disposing of a defaced Koran are burning, or burying it in a clean place away from foot traffic or trash. In this incident, copies of the Koran were placed in an incinerator with trash (so there was offensive proximity) and when the smoldering Korans were discovered by Afghan workers, they hadn't been entirely burned, which amounted to defacement.

In the future, to show proper respect, we should indeed bury the books in a clean place of honor. I'm thinking the Whitehouse Garden. Hey, Michelle is already out there with a shovel, right?

@John the Econ- You're right; Obama's (frequent) apologies are really just variants on his "America sucks" stump speech. He not only invites the world to hate us, he practically demands it.

@Emmentaler- I hadn't known that the books could be weighted down and tossed into flowing water. Hopefully the Navy did, though, and respectfully wrapped some books in clean white linen before chucking them into the sea...using Osama bin Laden as the weight.

@elcedar- I share your frustration, and wonder what happened to the days that wars were won instead of simply "managed" until we grow weary, get bored, or go broke. If a war can't be won, we shouldn't fight it. If we do fight it, we should give it all we've got until it's won. And we should never put troops in a situation where they get shot at, but will be honored (perhaps posthumously) for "courageous restraint" for not shooting back.

CenTexTim said...

Stilton - Nice contrast between how Catholics react v. muslims when their respective faiths are insulted.

And how our 'Chrisitan' president treats the two different religions.

Pete(Detroit) said...

Not that I'm about going around intentionally being offensive, but Holy Crap these people need to get the heck OVER themselves. I mean really, 1/2 of that book is totally offensive...

http://yourdaddy.net/2011/04/05/ann-barnhardt-bookmarks-the-koran-with-bacon-then-burns-it/

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@CenTexTim- That contrast is what genuinely pissed me off. Obama is willing to trample on the essence and meaning of Catholic belief, but metaphorically falls to his knees to show proper respect to the paper the Koran is printed on.

In fairness, to keep our troops safe it is important and appropriate that we don't rile up the nutjobs in Afghanistan, so we should be handling the Koran with kid gloves. But shouldn't this president show just as much respect and care for the Constitution which guarantees all of us (not just Catholics) freedom of religion without government interference?

@Pete(Detroit)- Mmmmm. Bacon bookmarks.

gray lady said...

@ stil
Excellent idea, bury the Korans in the White House garden..... does Bo go there? If not, I'll volunteer my german shepherd, Sarge, for the job. Heck, for the priviledge of pooing there, I'd fly him to DC on my own dime.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Gray Lady- I'm not sure where BO poops. But you can bet that whoever cleans it up gets paid (in tax dollars) more than you and I combined.

Stan da Man said...

So, you're saying that's one of those famous 'shovel ready' jobs? Shame the girls aren't learning responsibility by caring for him themselves.
I suppose, tho, that teaching kids to be responsible runs counter to Democrap Canon...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Here's something important I really want to share with you about the whole Koran burning situation.

This is what one of our soldiers on the ground has to say - and not just any soldier; he was seriously injured in Iraq, then returned to service in Afghanistan.

I haven't shared his name because I didn't have permission to do so, but I think that what he writes deserves to be heard.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Stan da Man- "shovel ready" and "respectful disposal of defaced Korans" seem to go together, don't they?

And regarding the president's daughters, there's no way they can take time to clean up after their dog's mess...they've currently been put on the campaign trail by their father to clean up his mess.

Larry Sheldon said...

It appears that some Korans had been damaged (I'm not sure I know "by whom", but it seems like it was Afghani prisoners--I don't think it matters).

According to Our Way Of Doing Things, the right way is to respectfully burn them and dispose of the ashes. I appears that we might have done as well as we might, but how come we don't hear ANYTHING about our attempts to do things the right way.

We DID try to do them the right way, right? I guess I should not be so trusting of the command structure and the orders under which they operate any more.

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

If somebody trashes the Bible, I just figure it's between them and God. As for the Koran...what do I give a crap about some worthless book written by the murdering, extorting, pedophile founder of that phony religion? The only (and I mean ONLY) reason to keep one around the house is as emergency toilet paper substitute. I have zero regard for Islam but I'm still willing to live in peace with them if they are willing to live in peace with me. Not willing? Then in the immortal words of Rooster Cogburn, "fill your hands, you sonofabitch".
(It's not Monty Python, but still a great movie quote)
O/T...just read that Rick Santorum will be on the Indiana primary ballot. I take it as damned good news.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Stilt: Fret not: your reference to the mighty Knights Who Say 'Ni!' has, so far, been the high point of my day. Except for, technically, they are now the mighty Knights Who Say 'icky-icky-icky-icky-kapang-zoop-boing' and their interests have turned to herring...

On another note, I was invited by my web host to move my blog off-premises this afternoon. Apparently, I'm have become a little too political to use the excess bandwidth from a 501(c)3, and they're afraid my postings will jeopardize their status. As many are aware, having a 501(c)3 means you are no longer under the jurisdiction of the 1st Amendment; you surrender your right to free expression in exchange for a favored tax status. Clever, these progressives. In any case, if your content is deemed to be in support or against an individual politician or party, and your organization's name is not ACORN, the IRS will swoop down, remove your status, and fine the living hell out of you. Without naming them, I wish to thank them for putting up with me as long as they have.

I have moved my site to the mother ship, Wordpress.com. Same URL should work, but email is going to be sketchy for the short term as I set all the related DNS records accordingly...

Ni!

Anonymous said...

If we offer them TWO shrubberies, one tall, one short giving them a nice high-low effect, maybe that would help?

Suzy said...

I can't believe he hasn't been impeached yet. Not kidding.

Coon Tasty said...

@AHD - I agree: I'd be happy to live in peace with them. Unfortunately, their religion demands they make war on those who refuse to submit to it.
"Moderate" Muslims are rightly regarded by "extremists" as not practicing "true Islam", a fact which the media is steadfastly refusing to acknowledge.

Coon Tasty said...

BTW, SJ, the "She's a witch!" scene always makes me think of the "Climate Change" twits.

(Deluded CC proponent) "Who are you, that are so wise in the ways of science?"

(Pompous blowhard) "I am Algore, your king!"

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- I've fallen behind in remarking on the comments above, but I enjoyed them all...whether talking about book burning, Monty Python, or both.

And Coon Tasty is slightly prescient with his comment about Al Gore, who will be appearing in Monday's commentary!