Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Kennel Rationale

For the past 3 years, Barack Obama and his beloved dog B0 have been practically inseparable except for those rare occasions that the president is playing golf, taking a vacation, going on a fundraising trip, or is anywhere on the Whitehouse grounds.

Which is why Bo has been pulled out of storage and, still smelling of mothballs, is being used as the latest shameless fundraising prop for his master.

Obama's "Throw Bo a Bone" campaign is asking donors to cough up $10 to celebrate the dog's 3rd anniversary in the Whitehouse (after the similarly themed "Throw Joe a Bone" Campaign failed miserably, despite pictures of Biden begging and making "sad eyes"). And the fundraising website assures us that "the first dog is wagging his tail in anticipation of four more years." No doubt
because he'd rather keep eating gourmet table scraps than have to switch to the cheap, canned supermarket dog food which the unemployed are eating in the Obamaconomy.

Moreover, Bo might be at least a little worried that if things go badly in November, his master might revert to eating dogs again as he did when he lived in Indonesia. In "Dreams from my Father," Barry describes eating dog, snake, and grasshoppers with his stepfather who "
like many Indonesians, followed a brand of Islam that could make room for the remnants of more ancient animist and Hindu faiths. He explained that a man took on the powers of whatever he ate: One day soon, he promised, he would bring home a piece of tiger meat for us to share."

And people think that Romney's religion is out of the mainstream...?

But dog eater or not, Barry's relationship with Bo certainly appears to have had an influence on the president's policies; how else to explain Obama's "Old Yeller" approach toward dealing with the sick and elderly?

Still, when we put all the politics aside, how can anyone not love the ever-loyal, playful, crotch-sniffing, leg-humping, companions of our presidents?

Which is why Obama's next fundraiser will be called "Throw a Bone to the Secret Service."

A man's best friend is his fundraiser.

Bonus Graphic! Suitable for pasting ALL OVER THE INTERNET (hint, hint).



Pete(Detroit) said...

"And people think that Romney's religion is out of the mainstream...?"

I'm thinking THAT needs to be driven home - only it's not relevant.
It's the spending, stupid. Plain and simple.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Pete: Amen! To be honest, the only religion I'm aware of that demands its adherents to impose the tenets of their faith on all others (on pain of death...) is Islam. And, all protestations to the contrary notwithstanding, I'm pretty sure we've got one of them as president.

@Stilt: Loved the "throw Joe a bone". He's been proven to time and again to have an inferior IQ to Bo (the dog; not the president). However, I must point out that, for the most part, the SS, er, Secret Service is only doing its job - they have to follow the president around and protect his person and family whether they like it or not. In any case, it is seems to be those in service to the TSA that are entrusted to do the crotch-sniffing...

Chris said...

So, is BO a white-black or black-white dog? And does that apply to the canine, too?

"You are what you eat..." So how often did little Barry eat squirrel? He's gotten the rat part down to a "T".

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Pete(Detroit)- Religion shouldn't be an issue in this election, but I'm sure it will be made into one by the Obama camp. Which seems an odd place to go considering their guy was raised to be a Muslim who ate animals to steal their supernatual powers.

@Emmentaler- As I've said before, I doubt that Obama has any genuine faith because he'll never recognize any power greater than himself. But I have no doubt that he has more love for Islam than Christianity.

And regarding the Secret Service, I'm eager to hear more details about this strange case. I believe, somehow, that there's an Obama connection here. If not direct, then owing to the moral decay and "whatever you can get away with" mentality spreading outward from the Oval Office.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Chris- Obama has previously described himself as a "mutt" so that's a fair question.

And before we laugh off the idea that Barry can steal an animal's qualities by eating their flesh, remember that he ate snake...and became a lawyer.

Colby said...

I would love to be a fly on the wall at the White House meetings where they discuss campaign strategy. We have that moron Axlerod blathering about the economy; apparently attempting to blame Bush or Congress, and now they're going for the dog sympathy vote. "Please don't kick poor Bo out of the White House!" Reminds me of that National Lampoon cover that said, "Buy this magazine or we shoot the dog!" It scares the shit out of me to realize there are voting monkeys that actually fall for this crap.

What next?! "Vote for Obama or his kids will be homeless." ...or... "Vote for Obama; where the hell else is Joe Biden going to find a job."

My Dog Brewski said...

You just opened the door to lawyer jokes. My favorite is still...
Q: Why won't sharks eat lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

tyrannomac said...

“With Lolo, I learned how to eat small green chill peppers raw with dinner (plenty of rice), and, away from the dinner table, I was introduced to dog meat (tough), snake meat (tougher), and roasted grasshopper (crunchy). Like many Indonesians, Lolo followed a brand of Islam that could make room for the remnants of more ancient animist and Hindu faiths. He explained that a man took on the powers of whatever he ate: One day soon, he promised, he would bring home a piece of tiger meat for us to share.”

Dreams From My Father, Chapter Two, Barack Obama (with inspiration and writing assistance from Bill Ayers)

Mike Porter said...

Chris: From what I've seen thus far, I'm pretty sure that BO and his cronies start every day with a heaping helping of deep fried breaded whale assholes.

Colby: Speaking of Axlerod and flies on the walls, did you see that Chris Wallace interview where he inadvertently endorsed Romney? “The choice in this election is between an economy that produces a growing middle class and that gives people a chance to get ahead and their kids a chance to get ahead and an economy that continues down the road we’re on.” Priceless.

Brewski: What is the difference between a lawyer and a shark? The share quits biting when he's full.

Stilton: Nail on the head, per usual. Being that the prospect of four more years is frightening enough, your mention of twenty eight years, dog or not, nearly killed me. Careful where you point that thing.

Colby said...

@Mike Porter...
The Chris Wallace thing is what I was attempting to allude to. I honestly think the dumbass was in "Blame Bush" or "Blame Congress" mode, but it came out all wrong. Priceless!

I would LOVE to see an extemporaneous debate between Axlerod, Biden and BO sans teleprompters. It would be better than Moe, Larry and Curly.

Colby said...

I take that back. Moe, Larry and Curly are NOT trying to destroy the country and reshape it into Greece or Soviet Russia.

BS Footprint said...


"A fish rots from the head down."

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Mike Porter: From what I've seen thus far, I'm pretty sure that BO and his cronies start every day with a heaping helping of deep fried breaded whale assholes.

I sprayed yet another coffee all over my self.

@Stilt: Ah! I missed the SS "ho-ing 'round" in Colombia news. To the Secret Service: Idiots! To the Marines: Semper Fi!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby- But it's cute to send a $10 donation to an adorable doggy-woggy!

And yes, I can readily foresee the heartrending ads that will remind us "Only you can save Malia and Sasha from the nightmare of the public school system"...

@My Dog Brewski- Q: What have you got when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand.

@tyrannomac- I'm starting to wonder if the book was actually ghostwritten by Charlie Sheen.

@Mike Porter- I've got to admit that I've been experience "dog years" during Obama's first term. Not only does it seem like he's been in there forever, but the stress is aging me so fast I look like my own grandfather.

@Colby- I have to admit it's easy to picture Joe Biden going "Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!" while Moe-bama is poking his teammates in the eyes and saying "spread out you knuckleheads!"

@BS Footprint- I'm telling you, that Confucius guy is right about everything!

CenTexTim said...

Lawyer jokes, huh? Okay, since tax day was yesterday...

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

Stan da Man said...

Tim - T'aint nuttin' wurth readin' in ta papers no how....

Suzy said... the comic, the extra comic, and some of the comments!!!!

Earl said...

Whenever I see Bo, I think of Teddy Kennedy who had recommended a Portuguese Water Dog to the Obamas. In today's cartoon, Bo looks like he just survived a dunk in a canal. No disrespect to Bo the dog, I love dogs. It's just that the poor thing has the undeserved stink of all sorts of negative associations. And how come I used to see previous presidents (both parties) accompanied by their pets when they flew various places. I don't ever recall seeing Bo with the Obamas, though in fairness, I don't watch much televised stuff these days.

pryorguy said...

Crazy Hilarious stuff!!...from everyone!!

Ya know, since they come at us daily now, if a person cannot see through obama and ALL his disciples, he or she just ain't payin' attention at all!!

Just talked with a lady at work here, she's about 42, and she said ,"Oh, I'm not voting, I wouldn't know who to vote for!" I told her, well, I wish I could get you to trust me and vote with me, but, I wish more people felt the way that you do, because it has been my experience that if someone doesn't know who to vote for, they usually just vote the status quo, and we don't want that!


Bob Mack said...

The first president that ever bit a dog...

BS Footprint said...


Caption alert

You left out a few words.... 0bama's thought bubble should have read:

I hope this damn thing doesn't bite for a change!

Buh-da-bum! I'll be here all week, folks. Don't forget to tip the waiter.

Stan da Man said...

BS - But when the "waiter" already HAS "tips", what then?
>ducks, runs<

BS Footprint said...

Ooh, Marge, look! Look! Prez. O's so niiiice to dogs. He doesn't put them in a crate on top of his presidential limo! He's niiiice to dogs! Ya know what? I'm gonna vote for Pres. O! He's not a baaaad person like that other guy (whut's his name again? Rommely? Grommit?)



Stan da Man said...

BS - "What's wrong w/ a nice Wenslydale, anyway?"

Stan da Man said...

Speaking of "tips"

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@CenTexTim- I just read that a tour bus carrying lawyers slid into the Grand Canyon. It's a terrible tragedy...because the bus was half empty.

@Suzy- Hey, we all enjoy a day of fun and foolishness around here from time to time.

@Earl- I wanted to mention the jaw-dropping Teddy Kennedy connection, but it would have just complicated the commentary. But down here in chat land, I can point everyone toward this cartoon from 3 years ago when we first met "Bo."

And like you, I've noticed that Bo is only trotted out for photo-ops. One of the things I liked about the picture under the commentary is that Barry is reaching toward Bo in a tentative, overhand way...and Bo is looking at that hand like he's never seen it before. I'm not getting any "relationship" vibe there at all. No doubt because even dogs have some standards.

@Pryorguy- Give your lady at work a link to this site and we'll have her casting that "ABO" vote in no time!

@Bob Mack- There were some odd rumors about LBJ and his beagles, but I think this is the only documented case of a president EATING dogs.

@BS Footprint- See, if I just GAVE you all the punchlines it wouldn't be as satisfying as when you earn it.

@Stan da Man- I always remember to tip the waiter. I just love the sound of all those dishes crashing!

@BS Footprint- Most people have a security chip implanted in their dog. Obama insisted on a pop-up meat timer.

@Stan da Man- I wonder if we can get Wallace and Grommit to fix our economy? Couldn't do any worse...

And just to prove that this topic has gotten WAY off the rails, thank you, Stan, for posting the link to the 5-minute Bollywood song and dance number about "Nipples!" (Which is actually safe for work, if anyone HAS work anymore, and is pretty funny).

BS Footprint said...

For a few seconds there, I thought I'd crossed a line or something.

They *did* tell me I had a talent for stating the obvious. Just before they fired me.

BS Footprint said...

@Stilton, Stan:
I don't know where *you* folks work, but out here in the PRC (People's Republic of California) we get sent to the re-education center (erm... sensitivity training class) if we get caught watching something like that at work...

Good thing very few people in the PRC actually *work*.

Coon Tasty said...

@SJ - So the fabled picture of Obama with a weiner in his mouth has finally come to light, eh?

Also, can you imagine the cries of (faux) indignation if a Republican had suggested that the Obamas get a dog with dreadlocks? Teddy Drunkennedy - still treating Blacks like idiots (and getting away with it) right until the end.

My Dog Brewski said...

The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally, the American Bar Association was outraged and filed suit. Yet, the NIH presented some very good reasons for the switch.

1. The lab assistants were becoming very attached to their little rats. This emotional involvement was interfering with the research being conducted. No such attachment could form for a lawyer.

2. Lawyers breed faster and are in much greater supply.

3. Lawyers are much cheaper to care for and the humanitarian societies won't jump all over you no matter what you're studying.

4. There are some things even a rat won't do.

Pete(Detroit) said...

Even Hitler gets into the act

Colby said...

A betrothed couple riding in a car were in a horrible accident and both arrived at the Pearly Gates at the same time. They explained to St. Peter that they were on their way to get married when the accident happened, and asked if they could go ahead and get married in Heaven. St. Peter told them they could, but they had to wait a bit; he then left them alone. After about two years, St. Peter came calling with a preacher, and the couple finally got married. A few year later, things were not going so well. The couple went to St. Peter and explained that they now wanted to get a divorce. St. Peter cried, "Crimony! It took me two years to find a preacher up here, and now you want me to find a LAWYER?!!"

Emmentaler Limburger said...

He doesn't even have enough class to eat the wiener on a bun. Typical. Stilt, you need to give him an multi-grain bun from organically grown grains. That'll keep the missus off 'im. Then slather the inside with bacon grease...

Speaking of lawyers...

So there's this 911 call that a busload of lawyers went off the road on a remote area of The Tail Of The Dragon and plunged 100 feet to the valley floor. When they arrive hours and hours and hours later (it was a 911 call, after all), they found that Bubba had buried every last one of them. "Weren't any alive?" asked the EMS driver. "Whall, " drawled Bubba, "a few ovem said they wuz, but I ain't never met no honest lawyer."

And: What's rust and red and looks good an a lawyer? Yep, you got it: A doberman.

Finally: Why did New York get all the lawyers, and New Jersey get all the toxic waste dumps? New Jersey got first choice...

@Stilt: Most people have a security chip implanted in their dog. Obama insisted on a pop-up meat timer.

Why do you people insist I wear my coffee on the outside?

CenTexTim said...

Even the Wall Street Journal is getting into dog jokes:

One time Barack Obama went to an Indian restaurant and ordered the lassi. Was he ever disappointed when the waiter brought him a yogurt drink!

"So, Mr. President, where shall we go to eat?"
"I know a great Spot."

Happiness is a warm puppy, with a side of fries.

Obama's favorite fast-food joint?

I wouldn't vote for that guy for dogcatcher.

Did you hear about the insomniac polyphagiac president? He lies awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@BS Footprint- You comment raises two questions:
1) Has anyone ever been made more sensitive by a sensititvity training class?
2) How come there aren't sensititivity classes teaching liberals to just "respect the differences" in their conservative brothers and sisters?

@Coon Tasty- Reports, still unconfirmed, say the weiner dog was named "Anthony."

And EVERYthing about Teddy Kennedy suggesting a "water dog" is hilarious. The fact that it is nappy haired and half-black half-white is just a bonus.

@My Dog Brewski- Two lawyers were drinking in a bar and noticed a very attractive young woman nearby. The first lawyer says "Man, I'd love to screw her." And the second lawyer asks "Out of what?"

@Pete(Detroit)- The angry Hitler stuff never gets old (and I'm not kidding, it's always funny).

@Colby- Good one!

@Emmentaler- Nice collection! (And on a side note, my lawyer insists I add the disclaimer: "Persons choosing to read Hope n' Change Cartoons should not to so while while eating or drinking. Hope n' Change accepts no liability for injuries related to aspiration of liquids, or tangential damage to computer screens, keyboards, clothing, or dignity."

@CenTexTim- I love the WSJ.

BS Footprint said...

1) I'm certainly more sensitive to the trend towards political re-education, er, sensitivity training, in the workplace. Turned me into an entrepreneur. So yeah.

2) The rules only work one way: to the progressives' advantage. I'd thought this was obvious to all observers by now.

Chuck said...

@Colby: WINS

I've been off line several hours ... had to get a new keyboard!

This has been a great comic post ... thanks to all!

What do you call 20,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?

... a good start.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@BS Footprint- I actually AM a sensitive guy when it comes to others. But I'm also sensitive to dictatorial bullsh*t, which is why I'll never be able to work under anyone else's roof again.

@Chuck- As I was explaining to Mrs. Jarlsberg, sometimes I just like to throw in a lighter cartoon/topic to give ALL of us a little space to joke around a bit.

Tomorrow's cartoon is more serious, but those who click on the first link in the commentary will get a refreshing 60 seconds of sheer comic mischief that I put together today.