Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Deep in the Heart of Taxes

obama, obama jokes, taxes, april 15, stilton jarlsberg, hope n' change, hope and change, conservative, tea party, audit, geithner

Hope n' Change is just a bit distracted at the moment, owing to the need for us to learn how to use Quicken again, enter an entire year's worth of receipts, then (because IRS forms are written in Martian) laboriously stick all of the results into our overpriced tax software and hope we come closer to arriving at an accurate return than former Treasury Secretary Tim "Turbotax" Geithner ever did.

Because unlike Geithner, who didn't even get a wrist slap, if we make a $34,000 "mistake" in our own favor, we fully expect the IRS to arrange for us to get multiple, highly kinetic colonoscopies every day for the rest of our lives inside the shower room of a maximum security prison.

Still, the risk of running afoul of IRS abuse is the price we must pay for presenting a strong Conservative voice. After all, "Free Speech is never free."

Of course, in federal prison, neither is KY jelly.

If only it were this easy...

20 comments:

REM1875 said...

I don't know doc, you are making me a little nervious about using the new charlie wrangle tax software I just got.

Geoff King said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Geoff King said...

Since lord Øbama has declared that 2+2=5 is a correct answer under his Common Core Curriculum - as long as one can state how they arrived at that answer, perhaps all that is nescessary is to demand that the IRS live up to his dictate and accept any bottom line on a tax form sent to them as long as we provide our reasoning for whatever figures we enter. Throwing darts at a board and writing down the resulting numbers seems a reasonable way to estimate ones tax liability. All that would be required is to explain to them that the Law of Averages proves that method will eventually render the correct answer, and therefore must be acceptable under the new standards.

TrickyRicky said...

It will be so much easier in the near future, when every penny we earn goes directly to our tyrant overlords and we wait to gratefully to accept whatever crumbs they deign to give us for our allowance.

Geoff King said...

Here is a short video that explains what the government expects in mathamatical answers under Common Core. Being correct no longer matters as long as you can make up a good story: http://dailycaller.com/2013/08/18/obama-math-under-new-common-core-3-x-4=11

Fred Ciampi said...

Stilt, don't forget to list as dependents the millions of illegals, the welfare professionals, congress, and the mooch's many and sordid vacations.

Chuck Ef said...

Oh my, Doc. Why did you bring up taxes?! There is nothing more irritating to me (at least today - tomorrow is another story) than the tax code. This is slavery, humiliation, crony capitalism, political favoritism, racism, sexism, ageism, islamophobia, homophobia, transgenderism, PETA-loving-puke and state-sponsored terrorism all wrapped up in one interminably long set of codes. And then there is Obamacare ... and the DMV ... and Charlie Wrangle, as @REM1875 said.

Except for the obvious naïveté of the statement, I have no idea why we don't have a flat tax. So simple, so revenue positive, so castrating to the politicians - oops. Never mind ...

Jim Hlavac said...

Rest easy, Stilt, evidence or testimony of the old unfounded fear of prison sex is just as murky as the tax code. You're more likely to get beaten or killed by either convict or taxman.

On the other hand, for decades I argued for my people to stage a tax revolt -- just refuse to pay -- after all, we were Taxed Enough Already -- paying for the police state against us, after all.

Then again, if society had had its wishes and all gay men were imprisoned it would have been one hell of a Club Ted!

On a serious note, the study of tax revolts across history is weak -- but it seems to be that in every society the moment when taxes hit 50% or more the people rose up, and the government of the day destroyed -- and we're near to that now.

Still, since the taxman cometh, I still prefer to do it by hand, rather than use software.

txGreg said...

I could not find Geoff King's video at the URL listed above, but I did manage to dig it up here.

txGreg said...

Sorry to post again so soon, but Chuck Ef made me think of something else when talking about a flat tax being "so castrating to the politicians." So, for your viewing pleasure, may I present an early contender for political campaign ad of the year: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9Y24MFOfFU, by Joni Ernst of Iowa.

CenTexTim said...

Just finished my taxes. The IRS-approved calculation I used is very simple.

Enter your total income here _____.
Calculate 10% of that amount. ____.
Add those two numbers. ___________.
Write a check for that amount.

More seriously, the chairman of the House Ways & Means Committee, Dave Camp (R–Mich.), is making a serious effort to comprehensively reform the tax code. While I applaud his effort, he's barking up the wrong tree, as evidenced by the fact that his proposal to simplify things is itself over 1000 pages long.

We are in desperate need of a totally new approach, such as a flat tax, or a national sales tax, in place of (NOT in conjunction with) the current nightmare that is our tax system.

When pigs fly...

Chuck Ef said...

@txGreg

I LOVE IT! I mean I LOVE JONI ERNST!!!!

Is she married?

Joni, I am proposing. If you are married, we can work something out. Really ...

Gad, I wish I could vote in Iowa. I hope she wins.

PRY said...

The wife and I were conversing about how she enrolled in ObamaDoesntCare this week, and now they push the due date into April, big surprise! She commented that gov-run healthcare is what is desired by the progs and that these are just steps in a planned failure so that can come about! It made me think that Federal Income Tax is another stupid law that we have all become accustomed to...so what's the difference in that and OCare? People can get used to anything! And DC knows that!OCare is wrong, and Fed income tax is wrong. I don't like either but what is the difference...here we are filling out our complicated tax forms because it's the 'law of the land'. God help us.

SC said...

@ Jim Hlavac - Welcome Back, you were missed.

Or, those of us that still work for a company can change our withholding from 1 or 2 to 99.
Then, govt doesn't get your money all year. However, it's hell to pay come April 15th.

My daughter does my taxes, by hand, for me. I get everything together & add up columns of numbers when she asks. Mostly I sit by & offer moral support, tea or coffee if we work on it in the am. It's shots of Fireball or a cocktail if we tackle it in the evening.

I am in favor of a flat tax. 10%. Everyone pays regardless of income. Everyone will have some skin in the game. It's the only way we can hope to get the electorate even remotely interested in trying to get the govt to be good stewards of the taxpayers money. HaHa...who am I kidding, that'll NEVER happen.
.

American Cowboy said...

While I favor a fair flat tax I am afraid it would never work. The simple reason is that then those professional poor who get back refunds far in excess of taxes paid in, if any, will scream bloody murder. After all in their world it would be unfair to pay the same rate of say ten cents on every dollar earned (there is that pesky nasty word) as those working, productive, vilified "rich" people who actually pay the way for so many.
Also the top one percent would never stand for losing all the perks and being in the same paying rate as the unwashed masses. Class warfare is and will be the death of any genuine hope of meaningful tax reform, sadly.
But if the liberal/democrats can dream of unicorns, fairies, and rainbows surely the rest of us normal intelligent people can dream of something as desirable as tax fairness.

JustaJeepGuy said...

Once again I'll say that everyone should find a way to reduce his/her income as much as possible, by whatever means necessary, to reduce his/her income tax to the smallest amount possible. Once enough of us do this, we'll starve the beast into submission. It won't be pretty, but we CAN do it. Let the government-is-my-mommy-and-daddy Demo_Rats whine and cry all they want. They need to be forced into seeing exactly who pays for all their freebies.

John the Econ said...

Here's how I'd stimulate tax reform: Pass a law (or "executive order" since that seems to be the same thing these days) that requires that each year, all congresspeople must do their own taxes manually, on their own, in the capitol rotunda. No help from lawyers or accountants allowed. Any congressperson who fails to do so is dropped from Congress. Should the IRS question or find fault with any return, then that congressperson shall suffer the same fate as any other ordinary citizen would, including fines and imprisonment.

We'd have a simpler tax code by next week.

Chuck Ef said...

@John The Econ

I call that "Tax Reform Porn". I want that DVD.
Drool, snort.

John the Econ said...

While Stilton works on his taxes, Obama continues to spend his money:

Obama lands in Belgium with entourage of 900 and 45 armored vehicles for ONE night only costing THEM $10.4 million in security

President Obama's 24-hour stay in Brussels is costing Belgium $10.4 million in extra security. He has arrived with a 900-strong entourage and 45 vehicles transported in three cargo planes

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2589438/Are-worried-Vladimir-Obama-lands-Belgium-entourage-900-45-armored-vehicles-ONE-night-costing-10-4-million-security.html

Pete (Detroit) said...

@ John the E...
(and god, I NEVER type that, but in leiu of 'in re' it seems to work)
What an utter farg tard.
Maybe the rest of the world will begin to hold him in the same disdain we do..
Oh, wait, they already do.
What evs. It's only money..

On the brighter side, one of my more hippy (if not entirely Libby) friends recently posted on FBook "we hear about SocSec running out of money... why do we never hear about Food Stamps running out of money? *I* paid into SocSec - what have food stampers ever paid into ANYTHING???"

The word is starting to get out, and the "class warfare" is beign redefined from "rich / poor" to "makers / takers"... feels a little good...