Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Byte the Bullet

obama, obama jokes, cartoon, humor, political, gun control, holder, stilton jarlsberg, hope n' change, conservative, tea party, allen west

Attorney General Eric Holder, speaking before the House of Representatives, proposed the implementation of "common sense" gun reforms like the Rube Goldberg nightmare in today's cartoon.

Seriously, when some screaming maniac chainsaws his way into your house on a dark and stormy night and is shredding the closet door behind which your terrified family is huddling, do you want your gun disabled because of a complicated, fallible electronic ID bracelet designed by the same techno-idiots who came up with Healthcare.gov?  ("Error 404 - Try Shooting Later!")

Clearly, there's a pretty wild disparity between Holder's belief that such an ID system for gun owners is simply "common sense," while a photo ID system for voters is, in his words, an "aggressive step to curtail the voting rights of African-Americans." The same African-Americans, we presume, who will be unable to defend their lives, their family, and their property if Holder's gun control proposal is implemented.

This inconsistency is troubling, but Holder doesn't see it that way. During his testimony, the Attorney General asserted that he has a "vast amount of discretion" about how he does or doesn't choose to enforce our nation's laws. Which doesn't make them laws so much as whimsical suggestions.

Still, despite all of our concerns, Hope n' Change is not entirely opposed to the idea of mandatory electronic ID bracelets. In fact, we're eagerly looking forward to the day one is locked around Eric Holder's ankle when he's finally convicted for his many crimes against the Constitution.


obama, obama jokes, cartoon, humor, political, gun control, holder, stilton jarlsberg, hope n' change, conservative, tea party, pajama boy, obamacare

34 comments:

Velcro said...

Hear, hear! Scaling new heights in asininity!

Anonymous said...

Are you kidding? The african-american "voters" are the ones who never use registered guns to begin with. Then again, it's Obama's America. I could see a mass turn-in of firearms with the serials filed off being turned in for fire control chipping because that's just how blindly they follow these goons.

Duke Mantee said...

ERROR MESSAGE: "This device has utilized an excess number of projectile units and has been temporarily disabled. You may check the device in 24 hours or call for an operator at 1-800-URFcked."

Geoff King said...

Oooo! Trendy electronic jewelry. Electronic bracelets required to allow you to use your gun and the DHS now recommending that all airline passengers wear taser bracelets just to get on a plane. I can't wait until we all have to wear the exploding neck collars from the movie Running Man. Now there's a fashion statement!

TrickyRicky said...

I recommend all elected officials wear taser enabled cock rings to keep them from repeatedly screwing us. I'm sure that we can come up with the gender appropriate hardware for the Sebelius crowd.

Frankie said...

If the bracelets work as well as the ACA website you might as well preplan your funeral arrangements.

Anonymous said...

Move over, Biden. There's a new idiot in town!

Judi King said...

This administration has become more shameless daily. Now they don't even try to make the destruction of the Constitution a covert operation. They are so blatant and obvious it's beyond me how the sheep don't get it.

Anonymous said...

If anyone deserves bracelets, it's holder. Ditto for ankle chains.

Chris said...

Yellow Star-of-David arm bands and forearm tattoos will be next.

Unt yu vil LIKE it, ya!?

Now just get into this nice choo-choo train for an all-expenses paid resort vacation...

Chuck Ef said...

Perfect, Doc. Well played.

Like a previous commenter stated, it's the lunatics in this administration that need to be wearing bracelets. They are DANGEROUS. I am very afraid that @Chris is correct, though I am sure it was meant in humor. We keep forgetting (or never reading) history - "The Story Of Civilization" By Will and Ariel Durant. The "progressives" are old-school authoritarians.

And quit picking on Pajama Boy! Do you really want the transgenders coming after you?! BTW, have you ever noticed how much it (yes, "it") looks like Rachel Maddow? Question: Have you EVER seen Rachel Maddow and the Pajama Boy in the same place, at the same time????

I bet Pajama Boy is earning 23% less than his male counterpart ... And per @TrickyRicky, does he have a ring on HIS counterpart? Sorry ...

Jim Hlavac said...

And I suppose they will have to go door to door to put the gizmos on all the guns -- and search for themselves, lest you hide one ... and the software will be developed by a Russian company led by a Nigerian prince ... or will they set up concentration areas for everyone to bring in their weapons for compliance? And I'm sure during a "national emergency" the system will be shut down for public safety. Or will they simply decree all the existing guns illegal but you can turn them in for a new gov't issued model -- made by the President's brother-in-law?

American Cowboy said...

@ TrickyRicky

Exploding strap-ons??

John the Econ said...

Thanks again @Stilton for this morning's healthy laugh. Yet another brilliant expose on the anti-intellect of the left.

I have a suggestion: (And we should do this for ALL legislation that is imposed upon the citizenry) Before we force this paradigm upon the hapless US citizen, let's first mandate a 10-year test on government officials and employees. Yes, from the President's security detail on down should be equipped only with this kind of device. If that works out well, only then can they mandate it for everyone else.

Just imagine how much better ObamaCare would have worked out had it been imposed this way.

Oh, and I'm not worried about offending "Pajama Boy". My cat could take him out.

John the Econ said...

Speaking of controlling weapons, we've had another crazoid attack at a school in Pittsburgh:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/pittsburgh-school-stabbings-20-students-injured-in-knife-attack-spree-at-us-high-school-9248774.html

No word yet when Obama or Holder will call for "Knife Control" or blame this on Sarah Palin.

CenTexTim said...

Really, Stilt, criticizing Eric Holder?

You don't want to go there, buddy...

Anonymous said...

I figure someday, waaaayy off in the future, Eric Holder will retire (Lord, please let me live long enough to witness it!), and I hope that by some quirk of fate, he ends up in a Texas or Arizona border town. It is quite apparent that he holds firmly to the Common Core version of The Constitution, and not the real one that he swore to uphold.

This man is a self serving dirtbag, and if our Congress had any balls whatsoever, they would remove his sorry ass from office, along with his sorry ass boss.

Anonymous said...

I really admire how much raw hate and white male anger your pour into every "cartoon."

Jim Hlavac said...

Dear "Anonymous" -- real men or women put their name to their comments -- or at least a clickable nom-d'-internet - and don't hide like a wussy behind "anonymous" rhymes with wuss.

Everyone else -- speaking of wussies -- I would have no problem taking pajama boy out of his momma's basement and stashing him in my own -- I think he's kinda' cute -- and well, the dishes and vacuuming need doing ...

See -- "anonymous" wuss -- that's how to state your opinion like a real man or woman.
Yours - angry tax enough ruled enough gay man! :)

John the Econ said...

You know how you've won an argument with a liberal? When they replace any sentient attempt at an argument with the word "hate". Same with "racism", or "denier".

It relieves them from any requirement to think about what they're saying or responding to. And judging from the quality of thought from the left over the last decade, it's had the secondary effect of atrophying their brains to near nothingness; closer to jellyfish I'd say; Merely reacting to external stimuli in very limited ways.

Harry said...

@TrickyRicky:

"I'm sure that we can come up with the gender appropriate hardware for the Sebelius crowd."

Be verrry verrry careful! If you are not careful in designing the level of "stimulus", the thrill will be such they will work TRIPLE TIME to screw us even more!!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Velcro- Sadly, there is no ceiling for stupidity.

@Anonymous- I don't actually know, but I don't think you can retrofit an existing gun with this technology; people would need to buy new guns (and yeah, that will happen voluntarily and with 100% compliance). I also have serious concerns about how well delicate electronic components will survive inside a gun - and how you can know if the battery powering those components is alive or dead. Because if it is, the user soon will be.

@Duke Mantee- That error message seems disturbingly likely.

@Geoff King- I hadn't heard about the taser bracelets until now, but Googled it and - yep! - the idea was actually floated a while ago. I'm banging my head on my desk...

@TrickyRicky- Now THERE'S a good idea and a worthy use of our tax dollars!

@Frankie- If the bracelets work like healthcare.gov, you'll be ID'ed by your dental records sooner than your electronic bracelet.

@Judi King- The Libs don't think they're destroying the Constitution; they think it's a "living document" so they're only torturing and enslaving it.

@Anonymous- I like to think of those items as "forensic bling."

@Chris- Free train rides? Oh boy!

@Chuck Ef- I never have seen Maddow and Pajama Boy at the same time, so they might well be the same person. Similarly, I've never seen Jay Carney and Edward Snowden in the same room and am highly suspicious.

@Jim Hlavac- Your speculations sound right on the money. And I really wouldn't want to bet my life on an "Obamagun" working when I most needed it to.

@American Cowboy- As Dave Barry likes to say, "Exploding Strap-Ons" would be a great name for a rock band.

@John the Econ- How I love, love, love the idea of politicians having to live with their own policies before the rest of us do.

And I'm only just now hearing about the school knife attack. Sickening. And no electronic bracelet could have prevented it.

@CenTexTim- (grin)

@Anonymous- It's not hate, it's well-documented anger. And I'm baffled by your assertion that somehow my opinions are offensively white and offensively male. I'M not the one saying that African-Americans are mentally or physically unable to figure out how to use photo IDs - that's Eric Holder's offensive accusation.

As far as my maleness offending you, it sounds like a personal problem you should work on with a therapist.

@Jim Hlavac- Well said! And I apologize that anyone even saw the stupid trolling remark from "Anonymous." He/she/it has been posting on HnC pages for a few days now and I'm usually just good about nuking the remarks...but this one slipped through.

@John the Econ- Exactly. "Thinking" is anathema to Libs (and trolls).

Chuck Ef said...

@Anonymous Troll -

"raw hate and white male anger"

These are the words that remind me that a mind is a terrible thing to waste, as your anonymous mind must be, in its "progressive" hate and intolerance. So put your tin foil hat back on and relax. These pages are a veritable celebration of the vast pond scum who elected ... pond scum. We celebrate you, precious! We do! What would we have to laugh at without you? Laughter is indeed the best medicine so take some, Sunshine. An overdose ...

Good catch @Jim Hlavac.

Anonymous said...

I'd love to post using my usual "Colby", but got a new computer and the choices of how to post are not showing up. I was actually sort of surprised I got somehting on there as anonymous, and byt he way, I'm NOT the moonbat "anonymous," but hte one before it.

I would value some advice on why the posting choices are not showing.

Colby

REM1875 said...

WoW kids can just wear the bracelet to school to make a 'fashion statement' (don't screw with me I'm armed) leaving ma and pa at home, sol, with useless gun. Pure genius.

REM1875 said...

OK, two choices I see
One- it takes me 15 mins to find my car key that I regularly use/loose, now how long will it take me to find a bracelet I put somewheres 'special's so I don't loose it or toss in 'some' drawer?
Two- I wear my bracelet 24/7 which i.d. me as a gun owner to the rabid anti-gun crowd. And we know how tolerant they are.
Pictures of me be night sticked along side of my car until the cop makes sure he is safe and that I'm not hiding a gun, just some idiot wearing my braclet, flash through my mind.

Geoff King said...

Let us not forget that, as the bracelet and gun will be communicating wirelessly via wifi or Bluetooth, it should be little trouble for the signal to be hacked or jammed allowing criminals or authorities ( redundancy unintentional ) to take control of your gun or render it useless.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Chuck Ef- "Pond scum" is a pretty apt comparison to Progressivism; mindless, flourishing in stagnancy and, when exposed to light, stinking.

@Colbynonymous- I assume the posting choices aren't working because someone spilled coffee on a keyboard at the NSA. (Seriously, I have no idea - anyone else having this problem?)

@REM1875- There are so many reasons the e-bracelet idea stinks that the mind boggles.

And you can bet your hiney that the feds would use the devices to track your every movement (why would they show more restraint than they do with our cellphones?)

@Geoff King- Anyone who has ever had trouble with a wifi or Bluetooth connection will understand why you wouldn't want to bet your life on such a connection working infallibly 100% of the time.

Anonymous said...

The only electric thing that gun users need is electrical shock therapy to fix their defective brains.

Geoff King said...

If by gun users you mean the police who murder an average of 500 totally innocent Americans every year with their guns then I agree with you. We already know police departments generally only hire lower intelligence officers that will obey unconstitutional orders without question and usually have no knowledge of the law. Perhaps some electro-shock therapy would help them out.

Chuck Ef said...

Gee @Anonymous Troll,

Back again and this time with SUCH a violent message. You are into that sort of BDSM thing, are you? Shocking those you love? Collars? Draw some blood? Carry a few knives around, slasher boy?

That is the problem with you "people" on the left - Soooooo violent. Read your history, Sunshine.

We just want to protect ourselves.

Bruce Bleu said...

Stilton,
The issue of the NSA "tracking my every movement" explains the web-cam in my toilet! It's also the only thing they have finally found that they will do "ASSiduously"!!!

John the Econ said...

Once again, I love when liberals respond to imaginary hate by actually being hateful. There's a certain comfort in knowing how poorly they actually understand conservatives, and in the place of their ignorance substitute their own worse character flaws.

Bob Mack said...

Linked at http://crockettlives.wordpress.com/2014/04/11/eric-holders-friendship-bracelets/