Monday, June 23, 2014

Loathe At First Sight

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, obama, klein, blood feud, book, benghazi

Although the publisher of Hillary Clinton's book (which already dropped out of the Top Ten list on Amazon) claims that people just aren't buying books the way they used to, Hope n' Change is confidently predicting bestseller status for journalist Edward Klein's explosive new tell-all "Blood Feud: The Clintons vs. The Obamas."

As you can guess from the title, the two political families absolutely despise each other behind closed doors - and we have to admit that our hearts actually warmed to Bill Clinton just a bit upon hearing his quote: "I hate that man, Obama, more than any man I've ever met. More than any man who ever lived." (Follow the link - trust us, you'll love it.)

The book also details in highly plausible fashion what happened on the night of Benghazi. Hillary (who is called "Hildebeest" by Barry and Michelle) called the president while the attack was still in progress and told him straight out that it was a coordinated act of terror. According to Klein's book, Obama then told Hillary to put out a State Department release blaming a YouTube video for a "spontaneous demonstration."

Hillary protested, saying that the story wasn't credible and it ignored the rather screamingly obvious fact that the attack occurred on the freaking anniversary of 9/11...but in the end, Hillary put her principles aside (much like a crack whore having a "buy one, get one free" sale) and agreed to the "no terror" coverup to protect Barry's reelection chances and prepare her own run for the White House.

Hope n' Change doesn't know with certainty how accurate Klein's book is (though his previous bestseller about Obama, "The Amateur," was on the nose) but we know that we're buying it - if only for the joy of knowing that its rise up the bestseller charts will piss off two entirely despicable families.

BONUS: Imagine If You Will...
obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, rod serling, zone, jay carney
(Hat tip to David in SoCal for the idea!)
Last week, Jay Carney made his final press briefing and was then carried from the White House press room on a stretcher so he could go to the hospital for ass-replacement surgery, his previous one having been lied off.

Although he's being replaced by the oxymoronically named "Josh Earnest," Hope n' Change really wishes that Rod Serling could have taken the job. At least then, the entirely unbelievable stories coming out of the White House might have occasionally been entertaining or contained an unpredictable twist - rather than the soul-killing, entirely predictable lies and deceptions foisted off by Carney from "The Transparency Zone."

Don't let the screen door hit you on the way out, Jay. And start smoking. Heavily.

30 comments:

SusieBee said...

Thanks for the heads-up on Blood Feud - I just downloaded it to my Kindle and can't wait to read it.
I feel like I've been living in the Twilight zone for years now...

TrickyRicky said...

Wow, what a shocker for an early Monday morning. I actually agree with Bill Clinton about something. I hate Barry more than any man who ever lived as well! I realize that is a very broad statement, considering the competition...Hitler, Stalin, Mao, any number of ugly brutal tyrants stretching back to the dawn of human history. However to my mind, and in my experience, there has never been an individual who has done more to warp, denigrate, vilify, and attempt to destroy the country I love. His abuses of power make Tricky Dick Nixon (no relation to TrickyRicky) look like a piker. I could go on and on, but I am one of the lucky ones who does still have a job and I need to sh#t, shower, shave and go to work to support this house of cards. Hey, maybe I can put up 10-20 border crossers in my spare room. Anything to help out.

alan markus said...

Awhile ago I posted something to the effect that if Clinton is elected, she will win the conservatives over by blaming things on Obama, and will chide the Dems for not having voted for her in 2008. The message to the Dems will be a big can of "I told you so", and the message to the Republicans will be "I felt your pain." There are a lot of Dems (think of the Reagan Democrat types) who will be be open to criticism like that coming from a Democrat. Libtard heads will explode and become silent.

Stupid as Obama may be, I think he knows this is what will happen.

WMD said...

After reading a couple articles about this book and how they all hate each other (Boo Hoo, by the way) It made me wonder how the dynamic of the next presidential election would be had king hussein chosen hildebeast as VP rather than clueless joe? The beast isn't looking good lately, especially with her comments about how poor they are, again, boo hoo. But were she VP she would or should be seen as inevitable. The next in line. Of course she was the heir apparent in '08 until a clean, articulate negroe with no ghetto dialect, unless he wanted one, came along and pushed her, cankles and all under the proverbial bus.

What would have happened over the last six years if she AND bill were still kinda sorta in the WH? Imagine the fireworks we may have had.

CenTexTim said...

It's the democrat version of Hatfields and McCoys - or more appropriately, Sunnis and Shiites.

Geoff King said...

Imagine that, no honor among liars and thieves. Speaking of Al Gore, I wonder what his response will be to the latest evidence that the Earth has actually been cooling since the 1930's?
http://mobile.wnd.com/2014/06/scandal-of-fiddled-global-warming-data/

Bruce Bleu said...

I've had friends/acquaintances in Presidential security since GHW Bush, and the bastard-in-cheef is the only one where I wished that SS agents had the same level of care that Hildebeest had regarding Benghazi!
I read a story in The Daily Hildebeest (that I just made up) about plans to kidnap lamont for ransom, and if demands for billions of dollars and weaponry aren't met, he will be released!
Stilton,
I have GOT to "cut and paste", en toto, this whole article and send it to my e-mail bud and budettes, (just in case a hyperlink doesn't entice sufficiently).
Bravo, Sir... keep up the good work!

Grumpy Curmudgeon said...

@Stilton: You're correct The Amateur was right on, I've got Blood Feud downloading to my Kindle app. Should be fun reading - especially since the excerpt 'leaks' clears up some questions about Hildebeast's (love the name, even though the Lightbringer (or probably Jarrett) came up with it) health, though I still question her involvement in Benghazi.

I agree with @alan markus that her 'campaign', should she choose to accept it, will be totally against Obama and his administration - though No One can list a) one single accomplishment she did as SOS, except wear out the air frame of the SOS's plane, and b) name one country/region that is better off than in 2008 (Huckabee harelipped the obvious Dem plant with that question).

The Dem's problem is that outside of Hildebeast, who else do they have in the wings? Fauxahontas? Biden? Moonbeam? The Repub's? Personally, I will consider any candidate that a) is not a Senator (history has shown very little success in that route), and b)that makes a promise to put the EPA and BLM, NLRB, FCC, on a choke collar, if not eliminated.

Re: The gutsy one's 'The 300' (as the LSM is currently calling them [with apologies to the film of the same name]) - if they are going to help with photo recon analysis - what's the point. If they are going in to provide laser designators for bombing, they will be 'boots on the ground' and in danger, especially if mr. gutsy fails to follow through with any decisive air action. Deja vu, Vietnam all over again - any time politicians manage the military by polls, it's a disaster.

Grumpy Curmudgeon said...

@WMD: The reason Jarrett wouldn't allow Hildebeast on the ticket was that they would have to hire more food tasters than they already have (Obama won't eat until someone else has sampled his food - don't remember where I got that tidbit, I think Dinesh D'souza's previous book).

Kitty said...

Why on earth would ANYONE vote for another Chicago Alinskyite?

George in Houtx said...

??? "Hildebest" ?? now, that there is funny! especially coming from "the First Wookie" and her husband!

Marine4Ever said...

With a quote like that, (“I hate that man Obama more than any man I’ve ever met, more than any man who ever lived”) I guess BillyBob and I do have one thing in common.

CenTexTim said...

On behalf of Gnu-Americans everywhere, I object to the use of "Hildebeast." It is disparaging to native wildebeasts.

Froaderick Barbarossa said...

You people show no respect for your inferiors, as we do in my homeland.

The downtrodden lady speaks: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoP0Ev5fk_g

Why, next thing, you will be slurring Elizabeth Warren, the champion of income inequality and fake indian ancestry. She is not "truly well off" either, you know.

Both of these super-human ladies have sincerity - they mean well. That is all that counts.

Miss Kitty - that is why the ignorants will vote for another Alinskyite. Alinskyitism is like mold ... And not the kind you find on fine cheeses.

An intestinal gas moment ... please.

Anonymous said...

@CenTExTIm

You are correct - the use by the Obamas of the term "Hildebeest" is in fact wildebeest-phobic. These are proud, stupid, herd animals, just like the progressives. The Obamas should be ashamed!

Jim Hlavac said...

I'm just wondering if Hilary doesn't get the nomination will she come out with a real book -- you know, one with facts and information -- about how she laid down with the dogs and got up with fleas. Now THAT would be interesting to read. Who knows, for as many of you people know, Hell hath no fury like a Hildebeast scorned.

Anonymous said...

@Hlavac

"Hell hath no fury like a Hildebeest unicorned".

FIFY.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Actually, I recall hearing "Hildebeast" back in the 90's, when she was still just the first cookie baker...
(Also "Shrillery") I don't knwo who came up w/ such (Limbaugh doesn't usually resort to that level of name calling, may well have been Mark Scott) but it was QUITE common BITD...

It is rumored that when she was flying as SoS, the plane was known as "Broomstick One"...

But yes, you're right, they're low on options... Kerry or Gore? Two guys who couldn't beat W?
Warren's about as polarizing as Sarah Palin, and less well known... who else they got? Is there a Dem Goverrnor ANYWHERE who is not in a world of poo?

Colby said...

Some big "ifs..." If Schrillery becomes radioactive to the point that she is no longer a viable candidate for the Dems, who WILL the party put out there? Or will we see a 17 candidate Dem primary? I sort of suspect the latter, and am having some fun speculating who the 17 will be. they're a bunch of sharks, and if they smeel Hillery's blood... You know there's SloJo, and probably Lurch. Cuomo? Dead Fish? Everybody I can think of is also radioactive. Could be interesting to see just how cannibalistic the Dems can get, but I hope the Republicans don't do the same!

No matter what, it's gonna be a crapload of fun watching Billery throw O'Liar under the bus repeatedly.

Sterling's Magic Johnson said...

"Strategist Donna Brazile, a Clinton supporter, said scrutiny of Clinton’s speaking fees smacks of sexism.”

Here we go folks! Gonna be fun!

Grumpy Curmudgeon said...


Gee - they must really be smelling the blood....

Oprah disses Obama's, Jarrett

PRY said...

All parties concerned will probably dismiss this new book as lies from the right. BUT I LOVE IT!!!

β male #1 said...

Hey, Stilton, that last panel of the second graphic - that looks sorta 50's-ish, ya know. Are you just taunting the lefty trolls again? Serling was great - Does anyone recall "Seven Days In May"? Rather than a right-wing loon, maybe a left-wing loon is about to do it?

And that first one, well it's just creepy. Looks like Bill and Hussein goin' out on a date, for pete's sake.

These are fun times, though, now that the "progressives" are turning cannibal.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Excellent comments above (no surprise)! I'm really hoping that a war of words (and skeletons pulled from closets) will escalate between the Clintons and Obamas and they end up destroying each other. Man, that would be fun to watch!

@β male #1- Regarding the top cartoon, the expressions on Bill and Barry's faces really ARE strange. Which is why in my first draft, I not only had the lines you see, but a second set of word ballons with Barry saying "And get your finger out of my ass," and Bill saying "No."

I killed it in a sudden (and rare) moment of good taste.

WMD said...

Stilt, you should offer multiple cartoons that are alternate endings. Not to put more work on you, but maybe as a sort of relief valve type of thing.

John the Econ said...

On "Good Morning America" last week, regarding the retirement of Jay Carney and why we shouldn't worry about him:

"Going to make some money"

Because that's what "public service" is all about today.

β male #1 said...

OMG, Stilt!!!! That would have been hilarious!

I am going to be laughing at random times today because of that - I suspect they will finally lock me up as a result. It is now on your head, doctor. Ha!

And I second WMD. More work for the doctor? Hey, WE deserve it! Humor just is not pretty.

Privileged SWM said...

Mr. Econ - Public Service never was about "public service". It has always been a revolving door in and out of K Street and environs, parlaying access into big bucks. Even those who claim to be "altruistic", elsewhere in life, do what they do because they want to. I hate to be cynical but human nature is what it is. The LoFo who thinks otherwise is the reason this country is such a mess right now. They are being played by people like Carney. Actually, "raped" is a better word but the Wendy Davis' of the world would call me "sexist".

deadmau5.1 said...

Any of you see the way that the Koskinen testimony is being treated in the press (MSM)?

Crickets.

Arguably, a massive cover-up of criminality here, at the VA (another whistleblower is coming out today or has come out - still trying to figure it out), and elsewhere. This Koskinen, who has given $100K over the years only to Democrats, is lying through his teeth - and nothing. These people are going to get away with what Nixon was hounded out of office for.

And the Grey Lady looks the other way ... Is Putin behind this??????

Geoff King said...

Even super Liberal talk show host Bill Maher is calling president Barely a liar:
http://mobile.wnd.com/2014/06/bill-maher-obamas-a-drop-dead-atheist/
It appears the rats are lining up to abandon the sinking USS Øbama.