According to the new book "First Family Detail," vice president Joe Biden enjoys swimming in the nude - much to the disgust and dismay of his female Secret Service agents, many of whom will never again be able to eat a vienna sausage.
"Little Joe," the appendage which is only a heartbeat away from being the leader of the free world, is frequently turned loose in the waters of the vice presidential residence in Washington DC, at Biden's home in Delaware, and other bodies of water which present a target of opportunity.
Sure, this sounds like no big deal - but consider this: on July 24th, Biden went to Ohio to give a speech. Now 400,000 Ohio residents are without drinking water because something (or someone) toxic got into the water supply. Coincidence? We think not.
Until further notice, residents are being told not to brush their teeth using the water, not to let children bathe in it, and not to let pets drink it. And considering that most pets spend a lot of their free time licking themselves, that says a lot.
Hope n' Change sincerely hopes that the veep will reconsider what he considers "see-worthy" in the future and don appropriate swimwear.
Until then, our hearts and support go out to the brave female Secret Service agents whose blood runs cold every time they hear Uncle Joe shout "Thar she blows!"
Secret Service agents shouldn't have to throw themselves on this.