Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Another Round of Shots

obama, obama jokes, cartoon, political, NIH, ebola, vaccine, budget cuts, stilton jarlsberg, hope n' change, hope and change

As Vince Lombardi or perhaps Yogi Berra once said: "The best offense is a really offensive defense." Which is perhaps why a defensive Dr. Francis Collins, head of the National Institutes of Health, has come out saying that the reason his agency hasn't developed an Ebola vaccine is because of draconian budget cuts over the past 10 years.

The problem is, the NIH really hasn't had their budget slashed (in fact, for 2015 the Republicans gave the agency more money than Obama requested) and, quite demonstrably, they've felt so little belt-tightening in recent years that they've been perfectly happy to spend huge sums of money on medical projects of highly questionable value.

Among the things your tax dollars have paid to find out while the impoverished Ebola vaccine team was forced to eat ramen noodles and go without clean underwear:

• Male fruit flies would rather have sex with hot young female fruit flies rather than wrinkly older female fruit flies who are starting to look like Hillary Clinton. ($939,000)

• Chimps with the best feces-flinging abilities are also the best communicators, clearly establishing a Darwinian link to politicians. ($592,000)

• Cocaine can be used to make Japanese quail hornier. Which presumably cuts down on the amount of time they need for small talk and foreplay. ($181,000)

• Golfers can putt better if they just imagine the hole is bigger. Presumably female golfers can benefit from the same visualization technique when giving birth. ($1.1 million)

• Uncircumsized South African men who scrub their tallywhackers following sex may have a reduced chance of developing various kinds of godawful African crotch crud. ($832,000)

Still inconclusive is an expensive NIH study on why lesbians have a tendency to be overweight. We would suggest it's because they eat out too often, but the NIH grant we requested for a drummer to play therapeutic rimshots fell through.

All in all, Hope n' Change thinks that the NIH should stop trying to combine medicine with politics, stop suggesting that the solution to every medical issue is "give us more money," and - most importantly - quit pouring money into research projects that made them giggle when high on "medicinal" marijuana.

ADDENDUM: A second healthcare worker in Dallas has now tested positive for Ebola, raising serious questions about the efficacy of CDC protocols. The head of the CDC, however, maintains that the protocols are fine and human error is to blame. In fact, he's so confident of this that he told Megyn Kelly that he could safely treat an Ebola patient with no head/face protection, no footwear protection, and only one pair of gloves.

And that's exactly what Hope n' Change thinks he should do: fly to Dallas immediately and help restore calm and confidence to healthcare workers by demonstrating proper protocol technique while he treats the newest patients.

Hey, even if he's wrong about it being safe, he'd at least be providing the healthcare team with an additional patient to practice on in about two weeks...


Geoff King said...

The government is wasteful? Nah, just look at some of the fine things they spent our hard earned money on last year:
I think almost half a million to promote the game of "Pickleball" is money well spent. I am sure all the states are forming professional teams as we speak. Once we enter the National Pickleball Playoff Season the wisdom of this expenditure will be obvious.

Wahoo said...

You can bet those fat lesbians didn't get like that from eating those public school "Let's Move" lunches ("One ketchup pac--ONE!"). Meanwhile, at exclusive private Sidwell Friends School, the First Daughters are daily served epicurean lunches such as the one on this Friday's menu:

Cauliflower Masala Soup
Roasted Vegetable & Israeli Couscous Salad
A Taste of India
Mixed Greens with Avocado & Sunflower Seeds
All-natural Chicken Curry
Vegetable Tikka Masala
Turmeric Roasted Carrots
Basmati Rice
Sliced Pineapple

TrickyRicky said...

As is always the case with the Federal government, it's not a revenue problem, it a spending problem. As always, a decrease in the rate of funding growth equals "draconian cuts". As always, every single solitary situation is made into a political opportunity. Screw all of these sorry bastards.

Fred Ciampi said...

It's a shame that the NIH isn't held accountable for the benefits of their research like other recipients of our hard earned tax dollars such as colleges and universities and even the congress when they pass stupid laws ..... oh, wait. Universities aren't held accountable for churning out stupid graduates and congress doesn't make dumb laws. Never mind.

Judi King said...

Near as I have seen, in my lifetime, is government funding has NEVER been cut. It is just redistributed, many times for nonsense. Of course the "blame game", for these so called cuts, is all political.

Geoff King said...

Most government agencies operate on the "spend it or lose it" philosophy. Towards the end of the fiscal year, which just ended last month, if they have any remaining funds in their budget they spend it like crazy on anything they can so they can then whine about not having enough and ask congress for a larger allocation in the next budget. This is when $800 toilet seats become nescessary. God forbid that they should return any extra cash to the taxpayers that it belongs to.

Anonymous said...

So, who is REALLY responsible for the mess at NIH? I'll give you a hint. It isn't the GOP.

John the Econ said...

And this is how a nation goes from being the richest on Earth to 14-figures in debt in barely more than a single generation: The answer to every single problem is "We didn't spend enough".

Nobody seems to ask the simple questions like "What are we already spending now?" and "Exactly what are we spending that money on?". The state of education in America is probably the best single example. We already spend more than any other nation on earth, and yet the only answer the left has to the problem is that we're not spending enough.

Of course, the same narrative was floated in the wake of the Benghazi scandal. "Gee, we would have had better security in Benghazi, but instead of shifting money from the needless spending at the luxurious settings that officials like to frequent, the GOP denied us an extra billion for the outposts. It's all their fault"

As the Ebola crisis expands with nobody seemingly in charge, notice that Obama and Kerry are still carrying on as though it's "climate change" that is our greatest threat. Basically, they're asking for more billions of dollars to attack a problem that actually disappeared over a decade and a half years ago, while imposing consequences on our economy that will cost trillions.

But back to Ebola, here's a great example of why containing this disease in a "free society" will be practically impossible: NBC’s Snyderman Apologizes for Ebola Quarantine Violation "We're not sick. No, really. And as esteemed members of the media, the rules don't apply to us anyway".

Speaking of profligate spending, the White House just issued the latest deficit numbers, which are mainly meaningless since they don't account for "unfunded liabilities" that this government keeps piling on. Today's narrative will be that "the deficit" is the lowest it's been since 2008. Big deal.

That's kind of like telling my wife that we're doing great this year because I won't be buying another Lamborghini like I did last year.

Don't be impressed. I'm not. And they certainly would not have been able to dispense this kind of spin had the GOP gone ahead with the kind of waste the Democrats have been complaining about being denied.

Judi King said...

Thank you John Econ.

txGreg said...

I may have posted this before, but lately it springs to mind every time I read another story about our government's outstanding response to the Ebola situation in America.

"Some people couldn't get a clue if they smeared their body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance while sounding the clue mating call in a field full of horny clues at the height of clue mating season."

(note: I've most often seen the quote attributed to someone named Edward Flaherty, but I've also seen very convincing analysis that proves it was not him. So, I'll just call it author unknown.)

rickn8or said...

That's kind of like telling my wife that we're doing great this year because I won't be buying another Lamborghini like I did last year."

HA! John the Econ is a spendthrift; I didn't buy a Lamborghini last year OR the year before. Otherwise, he was, as usual, spot-on.
(Marches off nose in the air.)

Colby Muenster said...

So much wonderful, tasty fodder today! Where to begin?

Dr. Collins is pretty busy doing his master's dirtywork. Of course, the NIH isn't a political organization, right? It's obvious from the list that they are laser focused on US health issues.

Regarding fat lesbians... Isn't this a "chicken / egg" situation? What came first, the fat, or the deviation from sexual normalcy? Has anyone ever seen a skinny lesbian? (let the Colby lambasting begin).

Regarding the nurse with Ebola... I heard on the radio news that she is getting better. Let me guess. She's white, correct? I'll bet Revrund Ja-hack-sun will remain totally silent on this subject, given the seriousness of the disease and all.

And Stilton. Are you questioning the CDC's ability to set meaningful and effective protocols? Dare you suggest a FEDERAL AGENCY might not be up to snuff? Why, that is preposterous! Take the IRS for example... no wait; bad example... take the DHS for example... no... ummm... take NASA. HUD? Department of Education? How 'bout DOE? NLRB?

Never mind....

John the Econ and rickn8or,
No shit! Only the gubmint could call a "smaller spending increase than last year" a spending cut.

Yee Haw! Less than three weeks folks! Support your local "not a democrat" candidate, even if you have to hold your nose. I was not a big Thom Tillis fan, but he's a HUGE improvement over Kay Hussein Hagan.

badlarry said...

John the Econ said...

Today's narrative will be that "the deficit" is the lowest it's been since 2008. Big deal.

Hmmm, what else happened in 2008? Something about hope and change?

Geoff King said...

It is now official. If you are worried about Ebola, you are a racist:
Evidently, because the first person to die from Ebola in the USA was a black man, Whitey had better not say anything about the disease - which is obviously a racist attempt to further destroy the black race.
Just because 3 of the very worst diseases to afflict mankind in all of history came from Africa (AIDS, EBOLA, and Ă˜BAMA), that is no reason to discriminate against black people.

John the Econ said...

President is now doing a presser reassuring us that we have nothing to worry about. Ebola isn't all that contagious, and the government is on top of it.

Anyone willing to bet me that we won't be seeing him do a lot of hand-shaking in the immediate future?

Meanwhile, why isn't the media pointing out the Obama Administration's "Micheal Brown" moment?

President Obama Already Has An Ebola Czar. Where Is She?

Perhaps if our over-funded government agencies were less preoccupied with politics, pork & social engineering, they'd have been better prepared for actual threats, such as Ebola.

Jim Hlavac said...

Well, on Ebola, incompetence, spending -- I concur with you all -- nothing really to add ...

As for "fat lesbians" being fat because they "deviated from normalcy" - I know too many thin lesbians whose lack of fat, I'm sure, didn't cause them to ... um be normally Lesbian -- for since the same static number are gay it can't be a "deviate from the human norm" but part of it.

Colby Muenster - why do you think there is so much gayness in animals if it's some purposeful deviance = and are these animals perforce fat first? See "Biological Exuberance" by Bruce Bagemihl for the encyclopedia take on gayness in more than 1500 species an counting - and remember, sir, the hallmark of a good conservative is to have the facts at hand and not just fling emotions.

Then too, sir, could you explain all the fat single mothers? Apparently being fat doesn't cause you do to anything but quaff another cheeseburger ...

JustaJeepGuy said...

Barack Hussein and his minions/toadies/fellow travelers all sound like Mao when he said he didn't care if 300 million Chinese died in a nuclear war; he was assuming he wouldn't be one of he 300 million. Barack Hussein and the gang are sure they won't actually be exposed to ebola, so it's just a racist's problem to them.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Great comments above. Every time I've intended to jump in there are new developments going on. We now know that the second infected nurse flew on a commercial jetliner with a fever (meaning she had entered the contagious phase of the illness) because the CDC told her it was okay to do so.

Nice effing protocols. The CDC has pretty demonstrably joined the ranks of the IRS, the DOJ, the State Department, the Secret Service, the VA and all the other agencies that have descended into dangerous ineptitude under Obama.

Linking all of this to spending, I firmly believe that the government receives too much money to actually work: without financial responsibility there is no accountability, and with metastasizing and redundant agencies there's no central understanding of what problems are being adequately handled and which are being missed entirely.

Geoff King said...

It only gets worse from here on:

Anonymouseseses said...

See, this is why I am just aghast that some people, many people, put so much faith in government/bureaucrats ("fat-assed-incompetents" I believe is the same thing). I have read about an effort to put the Fed under government control (they are semi-private right now). Yeah, having them run directly by fat-assed bureaucrats and politicians will work great. I read somewhere else that one of the fed regulators three times sought employment at Goldman Sachs and failed all three times - he was embedded with Goldman Sachs as a "regulator".

The moron LoFos wanted government take-over of medicine. I was sitting at the dealer waiting for repairs on my car and they had The View on. Rosie Perez, one of the most moronic of the LoFos, said that the reason we are having the outbreak of Ebola is that the Republicans blocked the Surgeon General nominee. If we had a Surgeon General (a bureaucrat) we would have guidance, according to fat-assed moron Perez.

The unaccountable overlord is a threat to civilization.

John the Econ said...

@Stilton, you've nailed it on the head. The problem isn't that these organizations are under-funded. The problem is that they are vastly over-funded.

Over my entire career, my observation has always been that it's been the under-funded organizations that have been the most efficient, because they have to be. Being inefficient when you are under-funded means that the alternative is not-existing. For government megaagencies, there is absolutely no need to be efficient, because they all know that no matter what, they're getting more money the next cycle. Since all organisms exist to sustain themselves, the impetus for well-funded organizations is simply growth for the sake of growth, since reduced resources is never a problem for them.

I am awaiting the appearance of the anonobots to tell me how this makes me a racist.

Colby Muenster said...

@Jim Hlavac,
I deserved that. My apologies.

Yessir... The nurse contacted the CDC about her fever, but since it was ONLY 99.5°, they told her to proceed with her travel. Now, if her temperature would have been 100.1° (I think I heard that number right), she'd have gone straght to quarantine. WTF? Six tenths of a degree? And I 'spose the CDC couldn't put two and two together either. Like, if this was a nurse from Sheboygan with a fever, no biggie. But it was a freaking nurse with a fever who helped with a freaking Ebola patient who freaking DIED! Where in the wide wide world of sports has common sense gone?

John the Econ said...

Class in session: Notice how the liberal doesn't actually address any of the arguments at hand. Why? Because he cannot. So instead, he responds with irrelevant hyperbole. Anything, absolutely anything to change the subject from the sheer incompetence of the bureaucracy that we're currently spending billions of dollars on.

In the preceding months ago, we were discussing the incompetency of the IRS, ICE, TSA. Last week it was the Secret Service. Now it's the NIH and CDC.

But instead of answering any of that, the liberal instead claims that we must be against research. Quite the contrary. We're all for it. After all, we've paid for it many times over. But instead of coming up with effective plans to deal with a pandemic, Obama, the State Department, and even the DOD would rather muse about hypothetical and invented crisis like "climate change" that the actual crisis staring them right in the face. And why wouldn't they? I'm sure it's much more fun than dealing with the dismal reality that we're actually paying them to deal with.

Again, the only answer they have is to spend more. There are no new ideas. It's just more of the same insanity, promising different and better results, over and over again.

Class dismissed.

Geoff King said...

Well stated John. The only disagreement I have with your post is in your calling that mental midget a "liberal". That is a term, much like "progressive", which has been hijacked by Democrats to disguise the fact that they are neither. Thomas Jefferson was a liberal. Benjamin Franklin was a progressive. Democrats today are Socialistic Authoritarians. They are only liberal if you do exactly as they say, and live your life by their rules.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Even though it's tempting, please don't feed the troll. This...thing... has more than worn out its welcome here, and proved that it has nothing to say. You can get as much information, and probably more entertainment, by going to Youtube and watching cysts being drained.

I'll erase its comments whenever I'm able (and happily, I might add); until then please just ignore it.

Bruce Bleu said...

I've looked at the comments, and unless I missed it, no one has addressed this point: If the ebola virus were put into a "bomb", and "dropped" on a city, it would be called a "biological weapon". Does NOBODY see that lamont is IMPORTING walking biological weapons? The traitor-in-cheef is trying to KILL Americans!!!! I say, let's send lamont and magilla to Liberia instead of OUR National Guard Troops!!!! (They should rename it LIE-beria in his honor.) HE said you "couldn't catch obola [sic] by casual contact" (MAN what a dipshit he is!) so... off you go, lamont. Oh, and fix Zimbabwe's economy while you're there, dumbass... AND have your passport and BIRTH CERTIFICATE ready for entry into the U.S. if you live through the trip.

David in SoCal said...

@all normal Hn'C bloggers: Excellent X2 comments/observations today; even Mongo would be impressed.
Was listening to Rush today, and a caller said Frontier Airlines will now change the name of that plane(that the 2nd ebola nurse was on)to: "Ebola Gay". Still looking for my ass that I laughed off.
In all seriousness; the CDC should have never let her travel, and she, as a Nurse, should have known not to go anywhere. Some have said 'The Obama' has purposely allowed Ebola infected 'folks' into the US. He most certainly did that with the Enterovirus carriers, but I hope he's not doing it with the Ebolistas, even though it appears he is.
The few cells left in my cranial cavity are telling me that Obola won't stop flights/pass-ported travelers from West Africa, because he would also need to close the Southern Borders as well; his favorite place to import future Liberal voters.
May God help and protect us all; Barry Soetoro won't.

Jim Hlavac said...

@Colby Muenster - thank you -- no need to apologize - nor anyone else around here on the gay subject and it's discordant parts - it is confusing - I admit as much -- I have found you all to be at most "gay perplexed" -- fear not -- I am too....